Out with Bill Simmons, in with Charlie Pierce?
No one has made me laught out loud on the internet more than Bill Simmons, but I'm still not feeling good about him today--especially since my parody of his interns could easily have passed for Simmons himself on an off-day.
I would then like to direct our collective attention to Charlie Pierce's article on LeBron, as man, myth, myth-man, and man-myth, in SI this week. Pierce is the only person other than Larry King to have appeared on both PTI and NPR's formidable Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me , the two poles of my time-wasting existence. This piece (it is really a "piece," an essay that happens to have James talking meaningfully in the middle of it) has some sentences that could easily have sprung from FreeDarko's ripe, mangy forehead—it's smart, overwrought, and grotesque in a way that invites awe and ridicule alike (let's see Mr. Hollywood, he of the effortless rhetorical come-on, do that!!).
Speaking of LeBron, which is all I ever seem to do, how come no one accuses freak physical prodigies like Bron or Amare of being on steroids? Let me make this perfectly clear--I have no reason to think they are. But seeing King James and Canseco-gate in the same table of contents, it's hard to not wonder why no one's attempted to make this connection (believe me, if it had dawned on someone, it would be out there). Is this crushing silence the second coming of Jimmy the Greek--of course "those athletes" would be marvelous specimens? Are steroids the new white man's burden?
To recap: down on Bill Simmons, canonizing Charlie Pierce because he resembles me, calling it a racist world because no one says LeBron is a doper.
I am not above deleting this post if none of you like it. I think I am having a bad night.