Sean gave names

One of the mighty interesting things about being stuck in Texas is that you run into real live Spurs fans, people who will look at you all cock-eyed and disbelieving if you visit their house and immediately express your intense, principled dislike for the ways of their home team. It does mean, however, that you may on occasion find yourself to watching local Spurs games, when Sean Elliot does his meanest to let his team spirit rip and roar.

Tonight's beatdown of the Sonics (these Spurs without Duncan are no joke. Is it time to officially christen the "Duncan theory?") caught Sean at his most waywardly inspired, dropping gems like "justice is served!"

But the real clincher came late in the game, when it became clear that Bruce Bowen had once again shut down one of the league's top offensive players (dude is pure slime, but as a lockdown defender, he's second only to TW. Odd, though, that the vilified Artest does the same work without "veteran tricks," underhanded shortcuts, and other mess that defiles the pure form of defensive excellence). Ray Ray looked uncertain and off, and sure played it like; the Spurs announcing team ate it up, and as the clock wound down Elliot blessed us with the following:

"Get some hand cream! The rash is in effect."

The rash was Bowen, which would properly make him "The Rash." Let's hope this one catches on, if only because it will be amazing to see the squeaky-clean Spurs faithful try and make it wholesome, much less cheery. And it'll be one of those rare nicknames that sets a player up for humiltation, rather than celebrating and empowering him.

Also, they have started with the august "playoff storyline" commercials, which, when run on the local sports channels, end with the saluatory "I love this game." Could we please have an "I hate this game" series, preferably meant to break down the drama of the lottery for us? It's too soon to make anything but the most obvious calls on this, but by all means keep your heads thinking and suggest some interesting ones if they come to you at night.