Public enemy #1

I'd rather stand like a man than lie like a bitch
But if you stand on the stand, then you die like a snitch

Purists, start your engines. He's a Bowen-esque snake with a punk-ass, Laimbeerian tough-guy streak. His team seems tailor-made for the playoffs, ready to bring retrograde ball values right to those high-flying, elegant Wizards. They play phenomenal defense and never quit, but dude takes it too far. Don't say he set the tone for taking Arenas out of the game; he dared the refs to cheat him out of it. And then, with the win a foregone conclusion, he emphatically flops right onto Kwame's knee, who then has to be helped off the court (after a particularly encouraging "finally gets it" game).

You can throw yourself around if you're a fearless playmaker like Wade or Iverson, or a scrapper legitimately going for what you believes is yours. But being reckless for the sake of causing havoc and muddling play on the court ain't just dirty, it's retardedly nihilistic. Like bringing bad coke to a party, going raw with a fat girl, and blackmailing that gorilla they taught sign language to—all in one night!!

Thanks for ruining my inaugural Playoffs 2005 weekend, big guy. Why can't you be more of a man, like your gallant countryman Ginobili?