Endless Summer Wrap-up

As the summer comes to a close, there are a few things I'd like to touch upon that may have gotten lost in all the Spurs-hating, Miami-speculating, and SAS-gawking. So far, this off-season has been a drag thanks to Ray Allen and Michael Redd re-signing with their old teams, and the Cavaliers' failure to fully catapult themselves into contention (AND YOUR STARTING POINT GUARD, FROM MARYLAND, STEEEEEEEEEVE BLAKE). The biggest name to be traded was Antoine Walker and the biggest offcourt drama was Tony Allen's advising of a friend to "fuck up" a dude who he got into a heated argument with (dude, shortly after, got shot). But maybe this offseason--far from over--was not really that boring after all.

1. Gerald Green only has four fingers on his right hand. I feel like we should have talked about this. People have speculated that this might have even caused his descent down the draft board. I say no way, but are there any other notable basketball players with disabilities? Do I damage the entire credibility of this blog by admitting to finding it humorous that a certain Celtics message board is attempting to nickname him, "The Shocker?" FUCK GETTY IMAGES:


2. Zo's Summer Groove. I mysteriously started getting NBATV again, which, during the summer consists of the EBC Rucker Classic, games of the Wes Unseld era, The Rookies (HOLLER), and WNBA crapola. However, one day they decided to broadcast Zo's Summer Groove (Zo's annual charity game), which was incredibly boring, except for ten minutes after the game, where the cheerleaders formed a circle and Zo himself got in the middle to start freakin it. I believe Keyon Dooling and Maurice Evans got involved as well. D-Wade gave a few half-hearted shimmys, because, hey, the next MJ has to be ALL BUSINESS ALL THE TIME. I realize that I would probably pay to watch a pay-per-view hour of NBA players dancing in a circle of cheerleaders.


3. Nick Van Exel. This has been touched upon quite a bit already, but I felt he deserved his own little piece. Is there anyone more deserving (KG & AI not included) of a ring than NVE? See, THIS is where I have to respect The Spurs. I can just hear Buford: "Let's see...we're poised for another championship, but we could use someone to spell Parker when he gets erratic, who has a little bit more of a natural knack for scoring off the bench, and might be able to hit the big shot...I sure wish there was a free agent out there who could do that...hmmmm"



4. Von Wafer evidently punched Sasha Vujacic in the stomach during an intersquad game. Not sure if this entirely 100% true, but it's relatively awesome. Sasha has been known to showboat (still love his game), and probably had it coming. Does Von Wafer have a first name, by the way? Or is that it? The Lakers' roster looks absoultely AWFUL right now. Like, besides Kobe and Odom, I have no idea who their starters are going to be. And almost everyone on their team would be second-string on last year's playoff teams. I truly do miss the old Lakers.

5. Most unfortunate sub-plot of the whole Larry Brown saga. Brown's tendency not to play younger players could mean an EXTREME lack of Nate The Great airtime. See, this is where the Suns fucked up, with the Q/N-Rob for Kurt "NOT A CENTER" Thomas. Q isnt the be-all end-all, but wasnt the reason they got rid of him so that they could free up cap space for Joe Johnson? (sidenote: why is it always the most marginally talented players that are involved in the biggest front office scandals: Joe Johnson, Joe Smith, Kwame Brown). You cannot lose Q AND JJ!!! And could you imagine N-Rob on the 04-05-style SUNS?!!!!!



6. And of mild intrigue:

When asked if he was happy to have recently been traded from the Los Angeles Clippers to the Minnesota Timberwolves, Jaric smiled to journalists, walked onto the court and promptly buried 20 consecutive three-pointers before his first practice with the "Blues".

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??!?! I FEEL LIKE THE ENTIRE TIMBERWOLVES SEASON RESTS ON THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS GESTURE.