Stealing Home

In the ongoing FreeDarko spirit of talking endlessly about Euros and the funny things that ensue when either 1) they come into contact with America ball and its elements or 2) they act like Europeans and we can marvel at the fact that these creatures sometimes live in the realm we call National Basketball Association, I wanted to share with all of you a nice little image I found while avoiding this afternoon's brutal, honest (or brutally honest, but probably not honestly brutal) Pats/Steelers murkfest.

It comes from a pivotal moment in Eastern European history that I imagine many will remember with rows of tears. But most importantly of all for me, it forces me to admit that half the reason I find these countries bombastically and limitlessly entertaining in the most loving, poginant way possible is that, yes, were it not for the Third Reich and a mountain of rampaging Cossacks, I might call one of them home. At very least, they were the giant, snowy greenhouse for much that is wonderful about my people, and also left quite a cultural stamp on us when they weren't busy avenging all the babies we ate.

And then, lo and behold, I find this

Nevermind that it makes my skin crawl to think that the Dead felt a kinship with what's supposed to be my semi-jokey land of identification (I have the very real past on my side, plus am at least owed this!) These were actually worn by the national team after winning a bronze medal in 1992, the first Olympics they could call their Lithuianian own, meaning they repaid the favor. Is this the meaning of freedom? At least the Czechs had decent taste in counter-cultural musical icons, and got to claim originality in making them the basis for a social revolution. This shit is just disgraceful.


At 9/26/2005 12:47 AM, Blogger Dr. Lawyer IndianChief said...

I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you that my little brother has this image (grateful dead lithuania bball) in tie-die t-shirt form.

Non-hoopers who are FreeDarko:

Byron Leftwich
Chad Johnson
Travis Hafner
Jimmy Rollins

At 9/26/2005 1:26 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

um, that's a picture of the tie-dyed shirt. there are a couple of them up on ebay.

and if that sounded unnecessarily curt, i will now strike back with all the grace that freedarko brotherhood necessarily engenders: i had that exact same thought about leftwich today and thought of doing a post trying to explain why it's the case. it's not like with chad johnson, where he might as well be in the nba, or rollins, where he's so weirdly out of place in baseball these days that he's an instant cult hero. he's kind of like if you made wade into a tall quarterback.

the best thing about jimmy rollins is that at citizen's bank, they get to pick out their own entrance music (i don't watch enough baseball to know if it's like that everywhere). all the phillies had either zany salsa or classic rock. . .except for rollins, whose every at-bat was greeted with that mobb deep song that samples "blinded me with science."

it would make my year if he went 56. fuck dimaggio. i never understood what the big deal was about him.

HANK GREENBERG 4EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if there were a baseball race war between the jews and the italians, and it took place in the afterlife, no fucking way the i-talians would have a chance. koufax starts every game.

At 9/26/2005 2:31 AM, Anonymous Jimmy Jefferson said...

If the Indians win the AL Central, Pronk will be the MVP. mark my words

At 9/26/2005 3:16 AM, Anonymous Brickowski said...

I’ve also been thinking about this a lot lately. It might be attributable to Chad and his charts, but I probably just like FreeDarko too much (an NFL player going to the trouble of printing charts to talk his shit is a real gift, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nerdily hoping for some PowerPoint in the coming weeks). Some submissions for your consideration, you fashionistas of sport:

Dontrelle (too obvious, I guess)
Willis McGahee (though I imagine a lot of U alumni could put together pretty solid FreeD applications)
Julius Peppers
Troy Polamalu (wild-haired Hawaiians are probably the closest thing the NFL has to our beloved Euros)
Ryan Howard
Johan Santana (‘cause Minnesotans need something to believe in, and Venezuelans don’t get enough shine. If only he’d wear a red bandanna...)
Wes Welker

It should go without saying that Moss, Horn and basically all receivers should fall into the “might as well be in the NBA” category. Same for Mexico. If he hadn’t been checked by the Pats today I’d give Willie Parker the nod since he burst onto the scene like Gilbert and has TarHeel roots. And as a Giants fan I'd like to nominate Eli. An unlikely candidate, no doubt, but he possesses better numbers than Peyton so far this season and, having never thrown for 200 yards before, just put up 352. And that face...

At 9/26/2005 3:50 AM, Anonymous Andy said...

By "that face...", I"m hoping you're referring to the "The Chargers select Eli Manning" face we were treated to for 10 minutes of priceless sports history.

As an Indiana native, I love the Colts, but I have to admit that I find them a bit too bland at times, outside of Mike Vanderjagt's "Tough Guy Kicker" act. It was a breath of fresh air when Brandon Stokley threatened to sell the record breaking TD pass football on eBay at one point last season. But at least there's still the high comedy of the coach and team answering every single question at every post-game conference by talking about the Patriots to elicit a chuckle.

At 9/26/2005 8:33 AM, Blogger Dr. Lawyer IndianChief said...


Julius Peppers & Polamalu couldnt be more FreeDarko. The Steelers as a whole might be the most FreeDarko team in the NFL. I was impressed by Eli yesterday, but Peyton being who he is (perhaps the least style-ful player in the NFL...i have a whole term paper on this...but am too tired to break it out), I could never see a Manning being FreeDarko.

At 9/26/2005 8:35 AM, Blogger Dr. Lawyer IndianChief said...

also...Carlos Zambrano is FreeDarko.

At 9/26/2005 10:31 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

i have a gut feeling that it would be very difficult for a dominant running back, stately QB, pure hitter (a la pujols or manny) or insanely proficient power producer to ever be freedarko, for the simple fact that they are just too football and baseball, respectively.

for instance, watching tomlinson carve up that giants defense last night was a joy to behold, and he's now got all the moves back that were missing last year. but he's not very freedarko. nor is jamal lewis. only the miami guys. . . obviously portis, then edge and mcgahee.

and while manny is a total headcase, he's first and foremost a man with a great swing. that's not very freedarko (if only you could see the mild discussion of scorer vs. pure scorer vs. shooter vs. pure shooter vs. pure runner going on on our football board).

it goes without saying that all cornerbacks and most safeties are totally freedarko, esp. the ones that aren't very good. deltha o'neal was part of the inspiration for this blog, whether or not anyone knows or believes this.

defensive ends, never.

At 9/26/2005 10:34 AM, Blogger El Huracan Andreo said...

I'm not sure whether I love Chad Johnson more for his box of pepto bismol or that his diet consists mostly of McDonalds. Fuel for a world class athlete, indeed.

And it will come as no surprise that Brickowski's shout outs to U Alums and Wes Welker gave me a tingly feeling.

Just wait for Devin Hester.

At 9/26/2005 10:44 AM, Blogger Dr. Lawyer IndianChief said...

i have a feeling--and i'm not encouraging this--that this post will be up to 17 comments by noon CST, at which point i will be genuinely concerned about whether this blog is having an adverse effect on my academic career.


At 9/26/2005 10:50 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

i'm just waiting for it to go outside the bounds of sports.

like "the night stalker and zodiac killer, totally freedarko; ted bundy and geoffrey dahmer, no way"

"pcp and jelly, totally freedako, red bull and coke, FUCK THAT!!!"

"chamillionaire, yup, jeezy, nope."

i was going to try and do some senators but it's too early for me to pretend i know about that stuff THAT well

At 9/26/2005 11:08 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

i am sure i will raise some hackles with the last one in that last comment i made, and i am open to talmudic debate. but thc and i are the only ones allowed to use all caps.

At 9/26/2005 1:51 PM, Anonymous aug said...

some other freedarko guys i would add:

Reggie Bush- have you seen the man play? It's incredible. He gets at least 150 total yards each game on about 15 touches.

Ed Reed- Obvious

Seneca Wallace- Poor man's Vick and lesser known.

Is it possible for a hockey player to make it in the freedarko world? Plenty of euros, very little blacks, but a few young guns poised to control the sport (Crosby)

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