Visualizin' the Realism of Life and Actuality
The realism of life and actuality is that you should have never left Kentucky, Rick. That was a sweet job (get it, sweet like Sweet 16, which you're not in, motherfucker?). Back in the early 90's, everyone thought you were a genius, recruiting the best players in the country, winning championships, playing naked golf with Ashley Judd.....those were good times. But, your ego wanted another shot at the big time. I don't really want to go into your tenure as head of the Celtics (it is St. Patrick's Day, after all), but the shit was not pretty. It really couldn't have gone much worse than it did. So, now you're back in Kentucky, at your old school's rival--that's like fucking your ex-wife's sister, dude. Really not cool. Anyway, so far, it hasn't been too bad, you had a nice little run to the Final Four a couple years ago. You're not getting the best talent in the country anymore, but you've still got your pick of the best Dominicans in the Bronx. And that's something. Francisco Garcia was a nice player, and this S.O.S.A. kid is looking pretty good.
But, I can't help but think that maybe the game's passed you by. Your protege has been to more title games than you have in the past decade, even won the whole thing last year. The student has become the teacher. So, where does that leave you? It's probably time to retire, spend some more time with the horses down there. Maybe you and Coach K can shut it down at the same time and open a motivational speaking firm together. I would stay away from writing any more books, though. Remember the one you wrote called Success is a Choice? That's deep man, fucking existential and shit. But, answer me this: why have you chosen to be so damn mediocre?