4.11.2007

We're Gonna Kick Your Fuckin' Ass




Holy Annie's macaroni...I LOVE THE KNICKS. They make my daily life in the NY (typically a 12 hour search for black market french fries soaked in trans fats, winding down with a few cigarettes at the hooka lounge) that much better. As Zeke's Orphans go slouching towards the playoffs, everybody in the orange and blue is feeling a little hormonal.

Last night the Knicks gut suplexed by the Bulls. I had it on in the background. It sounded like Walt Frazier was narrating a documentary about an influenza epidemic or something. It was only after the fact that I realized just how bad Chicago fucked the Knicks up. 98-69! That's some arena football shit! When the jerseys came off after the game the emotions came out and that's when shit got soap-operatic.

Steve Francis apparently was of the belief that Chicago's bald ball of fury, Scott Skiles, was instructing his squad to run the score up. And that is (AS IF YOU NEED TO BE FUCKING REMINDED) rule number 28 in the Steve Francis Wedding Crashers Rulebook.

"As a veteran I've been in the league long enough and I know when people are trying to run the score up on you...And I told their players if I had been in the game it would have been something different."

Yeah. Franchise was about to make shit look like the end of Unforgiven but deserve's got nothing to do with it and Zeke kept the Terrible Terrapin (shit, I'm sounding like Vescey now) on bench mode.

According to the Baby Bulls the only reason they were chucking up three's with a fat lead was so that all in attendance could win a free Big Mac. But Franchise wasn't buying the whole Habitat for Humanity routine. He won't get fooled again!

"Their coach played in the NBA before."

Obviously Steve's got that Skiles rookie card in a humidity-free oxygen chamber back at the bat cave. Shit, Steve! Skiles! One syllable!

"He should know that. If somebody did that to him I'm pretty sure he would be upset."

Skiles responded with his usual blue-balled pitbull clarity:

"I have never been accused of running up the score. [YO! YOU JUST DID!] I hear they are on the verge of being a great team. [FUNNY. HE DIDN'T STRIKE ME AS ONE OF THOSE ASSHEADS WHO 'DON'T HAVE A TV' AND 'ONLY LISTEN TO ALL THINGS CONSIDERED,' AND 'FINDS DEADWOOD VULGAR.' YOU HEARD?! DID YOU GET WORD FROM AN ADVANCE SCOUT THAT THINGS WERE AFOOT IN GOTHAM!?] So they are probably a team we will be playing over and over again in the years to come. [HEY, NASTRADAMUS: I TOOK MY LUNCH HOUR AT THE LOCAL ORACLE OF DELPHI BRANCH AND I CAN CONFIRM THE FOLLOWING: YES. THE MOTHERFUCKING BULLS WILL BE PLAYING THE KNICKS OVER AND OVER AGAIN. PUT IT IN YOUR MONTHLY PLANNER.]

The fun didn't end there. It's Steve Francis. It's always fun. While he was conducting a symphony of shit talking to the Bulls--both on-court and in the locker rooms--he was joined by his intern, Nate Rob, who apparently had to be restrained from going after Tyrus Thomas. I'm no Ring Magazine correspondent, but I think Tyrus might have had the upper hand in that particular bout. Call it a hunch. Whatfuckingever, even Franchise rolled his eyes at Napoleon trying to set off some beef dynamite.

"He didn't know what the fuck he was doing...He just went over there because I went over there. "


Yo! Free Darko declares that from this day forward Nate Rob needs to be known as ...



BOWLEGGED LOU II. This Knicks house party rocks all night. Wish you were here.

37 Comments:

At 4/11/2007 5:12 PM, Blogger Nate Jones said...

A full force reference on Free Darko. My life is complete.

 
At 4/11/2007 5:18 PM, Blogger evan said...

that picture is the extra sheen on Full Force's collective jheri.

just because of what i know and think about franchise does naterob not get a chace to be his weed carrier. in fact, i doubt francis has anyone like that on the nyk roster.

if francis has a weed carrier, it's cat mobley and their love is endless.

 
At 4/11/2007 5:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yoooo!... these punk muthafuckers throwin' shit at us. Ya'll smell something?
I definitely smell something

 
At 4/11/2007 5:30 PM, Blogger Ben Q. Rock said...

Do the Knicks play in Cleveland before the season ends? If so, Anderson Varejao better watch his fucking back. Should he try to become a Benevolent Giver of Chalupas, he shall feel the wrath of a has-been's knees and an undersized slam dunk champion.

FEAR.

 
At 4/11/2007 5:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steve Francis and Cat Mobley...heh. Most definitely.

 
At 4/11/2007 5:37 PM, Blogger Brown Recluse, Esq. said...

i understand guys are proud and shit, but just take the L and go home. and you know "franchise" and nate-rob would be quick to go for the oop on someone in the final minutes of a blowout, whether they were on the giving or receiving end.

 
At 4/11/2007 6:17 PM, Blogger Billups said...

U mad.

 
At 4/11/2007 6:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darkofan: The nix are leaving something to build on. (There is no reason to think they wil not lose even the small progress they made this year.) Frazier's tone is genuine embarrassment, even though it was four games in six days. When is the Commissioner going ot do something about the nix question

 
At 4/11/2007 6:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought Zeke would've ordered a hit.

 
At 4/11/2007 6:43 PM, Blogger The Prof said...

"I hear they are on the verge of being a great team."

Skiles is a douche, but that's got to be one of the great deadpans in the history of basketball.

 
At 4/11/2007 7:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've had an ongoing conversation about the Knicks all year long with a guy I work with. He's been telling me how "Eddie Curry should have been an Allstar. David Lee is the next great whiteboy. Franchise is gonna start ballin again. Marbury is one of 2 guys ever to average 20 and 8. Knicks will make the playoffs."

Between the Knicks being as horrible as usual and the Kobe's team damn near falling out of the playoffs, this has been a great couple of weeks for me. A Keith Van Horn playoff comeback is the only thing that could get me down these days.

Whenever I'm feeling blue I go to hoopshype and check out the Knick's salaries. Isaiah really earned that extension. I cant wait fot him to take KMart's contract from my Nuggets. It's so crazy it just might work.

P.S. When is Ricky Davis gonna become a Knick? If that move is not destiny then I don't know what is.

 
At 4/11/2007 9:09 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Yo, Billups beat me to this post... that's what I get for napping on ya. No more rest for SML...

Here's the deal: I have no problem with the Bulls beating our ass yesterday. Good for them, yes they lack class (undisputed, don't argue) for throwing oops and chucking threes just in a pathetic attempt to make 100. Scott Skiles is a master of offense! He can't even get his team to score 100 against a sorry ass bunch of c-level players (we're missing 5 of our top 6, plus Balkman, too!). Seriously, did anyone see the first six minutes? Knick totals: 2 points, 7 turnovers, four missed shots.

Anyway, congrats to the Bulls for proving they are a superior team to the Knicks' bench. Regardless, he's a reality check for you dick riders on Bulls Blvd: Skiles = Ozzie Guillen minus the rings. The Mavs came in, didn't pound the Knicks, Knicks kept it tight. Pistons too. Both those team have a trait that the young Bulls don't: It's call "confidence". They never doubted they would pull it off, no need to stomp on piles of shit for no reason.

You know why they lack confidence? Skiles. Ask Billups (remember his last post on Skiles). Let's see how far no confidence gets them in playoffs.

It's Mets 2006 all over again. The biggest mistake the Mets made last season: Not going for Zito at the trade deadline. I called it then. You think you'll get a chance next year? Okay, great, but it'll cost you this year.

Ditto the Bulls. Should have grabbed their balls and bet it all, but nope... no Gasol. Good for ya. Keep banking on the future with an aging Ben Wallace whose numbers gets a little worse every season. Keep banking on that future. The present is passing you in the left lane.

Bulls will not make it to the NBA Finals. They might make it past the Nets, maybe even passed the ailing Raptors. But that is the end of the line, Shytown.

 
At 4/11/2007 10:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, your team is a joke. The Knicks have been the laughinstock of the Association for going on three years. You got your ass handed to you and now you're bitching about it. That confidence thing you've got going for you has really helped you light up the league. Your talking shit about the future? The Knicks aren't the future! You've got Zeke destroying your roster for another three years. Enjoy.

I'll enjoy watching my team use your draft pick.

 
At 4/11/2007 10:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for letting us know that you comment w/o reading articles first, FREDDIE.
Also: Enjoy the Sun wasting the Knicks pick on a "project" or role player, even though they go legitamately 6 deep.

 
At 4/11/2007 10:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 10:49, you got yo pix messed up.

 
At 4/12/2007 10:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once again, the knicks show they are just a bunch of thug wannabes. This is the nba not some schoolyard for kiddies. If you can't put up a better score than that, then shut up and take it like a man. Don't whine about running up the score like a little bitch. typical knicks. I'd love to see nate robinson do UFC. He'd be knocked out in like 40 seconds.
Brian

 
At 4/12/2007 10:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When i coached youth basketball the past 2 years there was a rule where we couldn't beat another team by 25. The year i had a shit team(freshman high school team scooped up my best 12 year old), we got beat by 35 and i told the kids they deserved to be beaten by 50 the way they just stopped playing in the second half. The knicks are mad that someone ruined their season long plan of being really mediocre and not trying but staying within 10-15 that way they still look cool. If only they cared that much about winning basketball games.

Did the knicks fan really just insult the bulls by saying they were gonna go to the eastern conference finals? I don't know of anyone who picked anyone but the cavs/pistons to win the east, and everyone knows the bulls are still a garnett/pau away from winning the title and are just biding their time. I wish the magic could get insulted like that. Instead all i get to watch is my team get sweeped in the first round.

+1 on skiles and that killer deadpan. I sure laughed when i heard that.



Hopefully nbatv will give me 3 more chances this season to watch the broken wizards have a 4 point lead with 3minutes left in the game only to get beat 7-0 down the stretch. Not as fun as watching kwame brown wander around aimlessly like he's playing hotter/colder with bodies to box out.

 
At 4/12/2007 10:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are there actually any Chicago dick-riders here? I mean, are there teams in the NBA that are less interesting or fun to watch? Well, I guess there probably are, but I wouldn't want to watch those guys either.

I mean really. My housemate likes Kirk Hinrich, I guess, but I don't see it.

wv: yimuu - instant-messaged apologia of a unitarian universalist

 
At 4/12/2007 11:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really wish the refs had let Tyrus and Rip Hamilton throw down when they were getting chippy a couple weeks back. TT woulda beat down that Reggie Miller wannabe.

 
At 4/12/2007 11:24 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

I don't know of anyone who picked anyone but the cavs/pistons to win the east, and everyone knows the bulls are still a garnett/pau away from winning the title and are just biding their time.

Or the Heat again, or the Raptors if they can get Bargnini healthy. That was my point. The Bulls should be in the conversation (they're the #2 seed!), yet they are not. Because they are "biding their time". They spent the last two seasons reshuffling their team (out: Curry, Chandler; in: Wallace, Brown, Thomas), yet I don't think there has been a dramatic improvement. At least with Curry they had a down low scoring option; they don't have that now, and they lack an offensive fire power beyond Gordon and maybe Hinrich (he of the career 41 FG%). But they do have their "effort" and "hustle", which will get them past the first round for once, right?

This isn't about the Knicks, this is about the Bulls. But it always becomes about the Knicks, somehow. The Knicks are punks because they took exception to having the score run up on them. "Yeah, I coached basketball, I told my team to take their beating like a 12-year old man." Good for you, Wooden. I'm sure that's how you turned them into 70's UCLA, right? Hey, I've played sports, too. My basketball and softball teams have both played in leagues with that one team that loves running up the score on that other team that doesn't really have the talent. You know the situation. We've seen it happen. You know what that team is called? Second place. Because we beat those teams both times. It might be nice to run up the score on scrubby out-manned teams, but it might also be a better use of your time to be professional and not get too cocky. But you are right, this is about the Knicks and their lack of professionalism.

Dude, your team is a joke. The Knicks have been the laughinstock of the Association for going on three years.
Maybe you are new to being a Bulls fan. Chances are you are a bandwagon hopper. Or maybe you just check in every so often. Here's a dose of the truth for you: 13 wins, followed by 17, 15, 21, 30, and 23. That's six straight years your Bulls didn't top 30. No matter how bad Isiah is supposedly doing, he's topped 30 twice in his three years, and the 23 last year is more Larry Brown's fault than Isiah. Yet I don't remember every dumbass fan or media writer throwing it down our throughts that the Bulls suck, what an embarrassing franchise they are, won't the NBA step in and do something for the love of god?!?

It's called a down period. If you clowns get to go through yours for a half-decade, at least let others go through their bad period. Better yet, worry about your own team.

 
At 4/12/2007 11:26 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Throughts= throats + thoughts.

 
At 4/12/2007 1:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

SML, I'm a Knicks fan and have been one for years. And this isn't about the Bulls, it's about the Knicks. This isn't the first time this year the Knicks have gotten upset about perceived running up of the score. Don't forget the 'melo fight, which was also partially Nate's fault.

These Knicks are losers, and they're losers with a horrible attitude about losing. When they're winning, they're assholes. When they're losing, they bitch and moan and posture, like Nate actually threatening Ty Thomas. Which like Billups points out, is actually pretty hilarious.

There are definitely bright spots on this Knick team, but everyone knew when Isiah brought guys like Marbury and Francis to New York that he was bringing their attitude with them. This is fundamentally why Isiah is a bad General Manager. He never gives any thought to anything besides potential ability when making personnel decisions.

Poor Clyde Frazier. I love him to death, and I feel so bad for him having to watch these Knicks play.

 
At 4/12/2007 2:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Not as fun as watching kwame brown wander around aimlessly like he's playing hotter/colder with bodies to box out."

So true, aug, and beautifully put. And the terrible thing is that as a Lakers fan you still have to hope for his return to the rotation if they are to make any noise in the play-offs. You're screwed either way. Free Ronny Turiaf!

(About whom Phil Jackson just said some of the stupidest shit I've ever heard him say)

On a completely different note, I guess you authors of Freedarko don't take requests, but when the ESPN writhers and the like fead me over and over again with the opinion that the 2007 T-Mac is supposed to be the best incarnation to date, I couldn't help but think that you guys and the Orlando Magic T-Mac would have a word to say about that. Which version of T-Mac is the most Freedarko?

 
At 4/12/2007 2:43 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

I realize that my thoughts are a little scattered, so let me sum it up as clearly as I can:

The Knicks "performance" in the game is not "embarrassing", despite what the press (NYDN writer Frank Isola, for example) wrote. Was it "embarrassing" when the Hornets lost 92-68 to Detroit back when Chris Paul, Peja and David West were all out? Is it "embarrassing" when the Wizards get blown out in the first round of the playoffs minus 2/3rd of their stars (if they get blown out)?

The Knicks reaction to the Bulls' attempts to embarrass them (and the Nuggets) was classless. I agree. I wish they had taken the high road, ignore it, and let it go. Chasing after people in the hallways is weak (though I guess it is a step up from hard fouls on the court).

My main problem is both cases is who the f*ck is casting the stones? You've read Chicago Bulls fans here (just like Nuggets fans did last time) break on the Knicks, and call them "punks", "classless" and "embarrassing".

Yo, herbs out there... your team was trying to embarrass the Knicks. Read that sentence, and understanding. It's inherent in the sentence. If you, as a team, feel the need to throw oops and chuck three pointers when you are up in a game by 30 points, you have no class. No professionalism. Period. Don't throw stones or talk that "embarassing" sh*t to another team, okay? You're guilty, the Knicks are guilty, that's it.

I don't care if people get down on the Knicks for acting like punks in that scenerio. I'm pointing out the hypocrisy of the media, of you fans, that go off on everything the Knicks do, forever pointing out every perceived wrong, but never hold those standards to other teams. It seems to me that no one is blaming Chicago for their part in this, only the Knicks. Hypocrisy.

 
At 4/12/2007 2:53 PM, Blogger Wade Word said...

This little tiff is a prime example of why most people hate the nba.
So many guys play half-ass ball, so many teams fail to show up consistently.
The Knicks should be used to getting embarassed by now. Too bad they didn't get a chance to throw a Melo-tyoe suckerpunch and run away. Forever.

 
At 4/12/2007 4:03 PM, Blogger MC Welk said...

Ricky Rubio to the Jazz with the Knicks pick in 2010!

 
At 4/12/2007 5:00 PM, Blogger Russ said...

With his Knicks blowing out the Raptors by 20-plus at the Garden a couple weeks ago, Nate Robinson stripped Mo Pete at halfcourt with six seconds left. That's sportsmanlike?

Hypocrites. All of them.

You don't wanna get blown out and embarassed? Try playing defense.

 
At 4/12/2007 5:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I rarely read Free Darko unless I lose the whip I like to hit myself with.

Billups, Skiles was being facetious in that quote about the Knicks. So the caps lock attack on his quote can come down whenever you're ready.

What's the deal with the StopMarkLoopus guy? The Bulls' bench was in the game, buddy. Since when did an NBA garbage time not include jacking up 3's and poorly timed alley oop attempts? The "down period" quote was hilarious by the way. Dude, it's not that the Knicks just suck, it's that they spend more money than any other team and still suck.

 
At 4/12/2007 9:36 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Nate Robinson is a classless player. If your best argument is that you are doing the same thing Nate Robinson is doing then you have already proven my point....

 
At 4/12/2007 10:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

stopmikelupica: I've been reading your comments on FD and Sports on my Mind for almost a year now and they are almost always intelligent and insightful. That's why I was surprised that it was you, instead of some overbearing troglodyte who mistakenly wandered onto FD and took it for a random message board, launching into a frenetic, garbled sweaty rant about the Knicks and how everyone always hates them.

I think the Bulls went a little overboard, sure, but they weren't trying to make the Knicks look any worse than they already did. The whole sordid affair is more humorous than anything else. I mean, can anyone take anything Nate Robinson does seriously? I'm sure we could trade cheap shots about Eddy Curry and Ben Wallace and who's team sucked more for longer and has worse contracts and whatever, but what's the point?

Sure, I passionately hate the Knicks, but it's a hatred founded on respect from on an era when the rivalry meant something, especially because it felt like the 2 cities were being pitted against each other via proxies in a way that most games just can't match. Personally, I hope the Knicks get better (and I think they will, just not drastically) so I can resume hating them instead of feeling like I'm watching some kind of bizarre, atrocious soap opera when they play the Bulls.

 
At 4/12/2007 11:15 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Thanks Padraig. I was afraid I was coming off ranting, so I'll check myself. Basically, most of my ire is coming from the leftover dissatisfaction with the Nuggets-Knicks brawl coverage. I guess it showed in my comments that I am quite frustrated with the constant negative coverage.

Anyway, for a fair response from a Knick beat writer there is always Newsday. Check out Alan Hohn's post on this topic:
http://weblogs.newsday.com/sports/basketball/knicks/blog/2007/04/maybe_not_for_a_big_mac_but_fo.html

It has a great Jerome James quote on the one thing we know he's good at: Big Macs, of course. It also points out clearly what I did not, which is why that the Bulls were definitely violating the unwritten rule in blowouts. It makes me mad that Bulls fans are acting as though their team is not equally at fault.

And I agree that it quite humorous as fans, but it could have just have easily turn ugly. Look at the Nuggets game. The Bulls playoff run could have been ruined had a big altercation taken place... so maybe Bulls fans/media ought to make sure their coach learns to reign in his team in these situations, lest this lead to a damaging turn of events.

 
At 4/13/2007 4:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Knicks fucking suck. Seriously, you're a professional basketball team and you complain about teams running up the score? That's high school shit. This is the NBA. You're supposed to be good enough that dudes can't run up the score against you. If you're really that bad -- bad enough that the Bulls can beat you by 30 -- it's not the Bulls fault. It's your fault, for sucking so fucking hard. You want to not get beat by 30? Stop sucking sucking so godamn bad.

 
At 4/13/2007 11:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree that the Knicks should share the brunt of the blame for all of this, but for anyone citing this incident to prove that the Knicks are awful/thugs or whatever, keep in mind that they are reduced to playing the scrubbiest of scrubs. I know that all NBA teams have experienced injury woes this season, but the Knicks are missing every decent player on the team except Curry. Mardy Collins is LEADING THE LEAGUE in minutes for the month of April, Nate Robinson is getting 40 min a game, (when he wouldnt even get off the bench if their guards were healthy) and Malik Rose is getting over 35 a game. Isaiah even brought in Kelvin Cato the other night. Congrats to Bulls fans for running it up on possibly the thinnest roster of any team this year.

And for any Bulls fans expecting big things in the future, you can bet the house that Scott Skiles' drill sargent steez will result in Ty Thomas going Sprewell on him by January next year. Son's snarkiness is gonna get him gotten.

 
At 4/13/2007 3:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You Knicks fans complaining about 'running up the score' are even more PATHETIC than the Franchise!!

The New York Knicks must be a HIGH SCHOOL team. Because high school is the ONLY place where 98 points qualifies as running up the score!

Seriously, in the NBA, don't you need to score at least 110, if not 120-125, to get into 'running up the score' territory?

And to complain about the talent on the floor for the Knicks is only to indict Isiah Thomas even further. Who are you accusing of running up the score? A bench player (Chris Duhon) and a few rookies (Thomas and Sefalosha).

Your team and your franchise are so pathetic that bench players and rookies can score 98 points and you accuse them of running up the score. Totally pathetic.

By the way, thanks for Tyrus Thomas and the high draft pick this year. With a little luck, maybe I'll be thanking you for Greg Oden, or at least Roy Hibbert, Al Horford, or Cory Brewer, very soon.

 
At 4/14/2007 4:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

kiles responded with his usual blue-balled pitbull clarity: [pithy comments about Skiles' pithy comments ensue]

Yo, Billups: Do you fundamentally lack the ability to detect sarcasm, irony, and wry humor, or are you just missing it in this instance? Jesus fucking Christ, has there been a sports blog throughout the whole of human existence that takes its subject more overly serious than this one?

 
At 4/17/2007 3:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

postscript. jazz ran it up on the shorthanded blazers last night. 130-93. You know who had beef with it? Fucking no one.

 
At 4/19/2007 11:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is funniest shit I've read in a while. House Party references are so rare. How have I missed this site?

 

Post a Comment

<< Home