Playing the Darko Way

While I’m thrilled to have an opportunity to play for the FreeDarko franchise I grew up rooting for, I’m also more than a little worried about fucking things up. Dr. LawyerIndianChief is notorious for not playing rookies, and I know that any reckless play will quickly land me back on the bench. So consider this my attempt to set picks, crash the boards, and commit Fortson like fouls. In short, I’ll be posting the way my namesake played the game. Hopefully, over time, I’ll grow comfortable in the FreeD system and the world will be blessed with sonnets on the elegant footwork of Tim Duncan. But for the time being I’m sticking with fundamentals.

If this blog has taught us anything, it’s that THIS IS A LEAGUE OF STYLE. Shoals may have trademarked the mantra, but every visitor to the site seems to have tacitly embraced it. When the league announced the dress code during the off-season, many worried that it would impinge upon that very thing that made the league so special. However, if recent spreads in various glossy magazines are any indicator, the style we hold so dear is in no danger, and might even be approaching a renaissance.

First off comes a story from the upcoming issue of Recluse’s favorite mag, Esquire. Apparently Penny Marshall wanted to cast Mr. Stop Snitching as the lead in a movie she’s producing. Unfortunately, Penny, despite her years as a Lakers AND Clippers season ticket holder, didn’t quite grasp the significance of style to the Association and required that Carmelo cut off his cornrows for the part. Once informed of this requirement, Melo responded, and I quote: “Penny, you out yo’ damn mind!” Atta boy Melo. Hold out for Spike or at least a reunion with Antoine Fuqua. If you’re capable of creating a concept as brilliant as that B More spot, then you certainly don’t need Laverne DeFazio ordering you around.

Next is something that appears to be a recent NBA trend. I’m not talking about the resurgence of the run, but rather the trend of starlet-fucking foreign point guards posing for GQ. Tony Parker posed for the November issue, and now Nash has followed suit in this month’s edition. To be fair, NBA figures gracing GQ is certainly not a recent development.

However, these latest spreads, particularly Nash’s, have taken it to a new level. Parker plays it pretty safe, exclusively donning suits from the big boys (Gucci, Armani, Calvin, and Ralph Lauren) with a dash of French effeminacy thrown in for fun. Frankly, I'm not sure anyone this pretty will ever be able to thrive in June.

Nash, on the other hand, appears to be going to great lengths to prove that, like seemingly every other Canadian long-hair, he’s indie as fuck. With the pic on the left I'd like to say Stevie pulls off the Joe Strummer look, but the sad fact is that he ends up coming closer to the lead singer of The Bravery. And who knows what he was going for on the right? Derelicte?

But somehow Nash has carried this look beyond the photo shoot and passed it to his young oop connect. Actually, I don't think we can fairly give Nash credit for this even though Amare does rock the too-short tie. No, this is uniquely Amare. It just comes as a bit of surprise given that Young Stoudemire had previously only been seen in t-shirts, usually of the Tupac variety. But what’s important here, is that it is perhaps the best example yet that Commissioner Stern will never be able to block out the bright light of fashion that burns at the heart of the Association, no matter how hard he tries to blanket it with collared shirts and sport coats. Nope, everything’s regulation here David. Jacket and tie? Check. Dress jeans? Check. Button up? Check. And I ask you, dear reader, is there anything more formal than silver shoes?

Finally, last week Ron Artest had the internet goin' nutz with his TruWarier haircut. Some pundits have incorrectly given Anthony Mason credit for originating this style, but I'm pretty sure Rodman had the razorwrite game going long before Mase came around. Ahh, Rodman. The Worm serves as proof that NBA style can be taken too far, and illustrates the point that the man must always own his style, never letting the style own him. For, when style seizes control of the man we are left with nothing but an empty shell. At his latest PR stunt, Rodman came out of a coffin (which he will ultimately be burried in thanks to the good people at GoldenPalace.com) before signing copies of his book.

How the mighty have fallen.


At 12/06/2005 1:38 PM, Blogger emynd said...

1. How much better would that 'Melo commercial be if some good ol' Bmore club music was playing in the background? "PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP, OHHHHH! PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP, OHHHHH!" I wish they did that.

2. With the "Derelicte" reference in this post and my "slashies" reference in my last post, that's two days in a row where "Zoolander" got referenced. This blog is a blog not just of style, but of high-style!


At 12/06/2005 1:54 PM, Blogger El Huracan Andreo said...

Clap it up. Good job.

At 12/06/2005 2:00 PM, Blogger Rocco Chappelle said...

Great post Brick,

I can't get over the schizophrenia of Tony Parker. How does he function as a human being? Which of the following statements about him are inaccurate?

-He is one of the top PGs in the league
-He incredibly inconsistent

-He can kill opponents in the clutch
-He can't be counted on in the playoffs

-He drives to the basket hard as fuck
-He's kind of soft on defense

-He loves up on one of tightest little ladies North of the Rio Grande
-He kind of effeminate in a not pimp-like way

-He's handsome enough to probably get work as a high fashion model
-His forehead is oppressive

-He's a hard ass French rapper
-He's the French rapper with the best chances to make a splash in the states since MC Solaar

He doesn't make sense as an individual.

At 12/06/2005 3:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man. Amare looks funnier than the time he was flirting with the cheerleaders when he was playing against my high school a few years back.

Tony Parker looks exactly like that french guy who works at the inn in the Gilmore Girls according to a friend of mine. After further inspection, she couldn't be more right. I just assume Tony Parker talks like that guy now.

On an unrelated note. Pape Sow and Yuta Tabuse are holding it down for Arkansas and Albequerque respectively. They both look pretty solid out there. However, the NBDL defense is the most pathetic basketball related thing i've seen in awhile. Which begs the question: Could a good seasoned college basketball team beat a NBDL team? Sure the talent is better in the NBDL, but most of it is really raw and still have a lot of developing to do. It also has a lack of role players, with just a bunch of guys trying to make a name for themsevles. Plus they play with different people every year. Good college teams (duke, uconn, texas, zags, mich st) have better chemistry, better coaching and comparable talent. It'd be interesting because of how different they are. Sorry for the off topicness. Good post Brick.

At 12/06/2005 3:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry to post back to back, especially when it involves the d-league. But did anyone know that Marcus Fizer is in the NBDL now? How does this happen? He's a solid player who isn't talented or aggressive enough to make up for his lack of size and quickness, but in all the games i've seen him play, he has been pretty decent. He certainly contributes with almost 10 points and 5 boards for a career average playing in limited minutes. I'm sorta outraged considering i grew up in orlando and i heard the magic brought him in but passed up on him. Anyways, carry on talking about more profound things.

At 12/06/2005 4:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Check out the zipper on Amare's pants.


At 12/06/2005 4:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice post.
Only one thing that rubbed my the wrong way. And mostly because I'm a Suns fan and feel a need to be protective of Nash. But how much control do you think that he had over the photoshoot? My guess is not much and since he seems like an open minded guy I can't imagine him saying objecting to what the stylist and photographer wanted.
Love the site, keep up the good work.
Shout out from Iceland

At 12/06/2005 5:10 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

1. amare is a fashion genius, even if this look, which could have been nicely distorted and warriors-esque, errs a little too sweetly on the side of avril.

2. i am glad someone finally said something about marcus fizer. can this guy not get a break? didn't he tear his acl twice, or both acl's? both he and lonnie baxter really should be in the league, esp. given the paucity of consistent low post presences. not that either is a show-stopper, but all they ever did was come off the bench and somehow come up with 20/10 at least a few times a month.

3. can i just say again how thrilled and enwondered i am that amare did what even artest only threatened to do? it is good to see that he's making the most of his time away from the court--developing a personae to compliment his in-game mythos

At 12/06/2005 5:13 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

fine, baxter is in the league, and i'm perfectly willing to deal with the implications of my not knowing this. but if he's around, why not fizer? fizer is a better scorer, more athletic by a hair. would anyone even know if i were just making this all up? even the hypothetical person that knew that baxter was on the rockets?

At 12/06/2005 6:00 PM, Blogger Brickowski said...

1) wow, i'm pretty honored to get love from iceland. i'm not sure how much control nash had with the photo shoot, but i imagine he had some and that the wardrobe was tailored to his style. in the waiting room at the doctor's office today i read the SI from a few months back where jack mccallum spent 8 days with the Suns as an asst coach during training camp. it's an excellent piece that everyone should check out, but coincidentally they touched on the fashion sense of the suns. quoting (since i swiped the mag): "By and large the Suns are a dapper bunch, though Nash, their leader, perpetually looks as if he were headed for a Green Day gig." The article then talks about how much the coaching staff loves and admires Nash for his leadership, smarts, fearlessness, and lack of pretension--"in short, his ability to look like a hobo and play like a hero." Touching on the dress code, D'Antoni says, "The bad news is that Steve will be in violation even when he's dressed up."

2) aug, Tony absolutely looks like the dude from Gilmore Girls. i even considered making that joke, but figured i would just get clowned and lose what little cred i have before the occassion of my second post.

At 12/06/2005 6:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i remember when malik sealy used to have awesome haircuts in college. he had all sorts of stuff shaved in his head...i remember he had an eye in the back, which is subsequently copied to the best of my honky ability.

i think the pros are copying college dudes when it comes to hairstyles.

At 7/08/2006 3:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

in the carmelo anthony ad for the the jordan 5.5/// what song is actually played as background?? neone knows???

At 7/01/2011 9:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the girl who wear tuxedo tails.

At 1/03/2018 2:21 AM, Blogger sahmon said...

Thanks for the information.





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