1.20.2005

Klondike Flashback - 9.22.00

I've installed flux capacitors in your keyboard. Press CTRL-ALT-DEL and you will be transported to the year 2000. Lakers are champs. Shaq and Duncan share the All-Star MVP. All is good.

The first of the Klondikes is born. Well, officially. Other Klondikes existed but were unaware of their abilities. The path to unity, the path to "sports wroughtership" was being breached... as the Klondikes call it, sports wroughtership or "spowrt" blends all the goodness of life into a spam filled taco of journalistic voyuerism. Bring the connies, the herp is abound!

Marinate on that for a minute. Here, from the top secret journal of Tyler Whitney, is a Masters of Klondike flashback:

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09.22.00


bonethugs 'n' harmony aren't so harmonious anymore - bonethugs founder flesh-n-bone was sentenced today to eleven years in prison for pulling out an AK-47 from a baby carriage during a fight with a friend. it seems ol' flesh here was showing his buddy the expressway to "the crossroads". i guess he was worried that eazy e was getting lonely. reports also indicate that flesh's punishment was bumped up for his excessive use of "you know what i'm saying" and "ain't" during his time on the stand. the worst of it all is that the bonethugs won't be churning out more gold.

glen rice is officially a knick - oh how they can fall. this guy used to be my favorite player in the league. now he's stooped to the worst. here is my reasoning. well it seems that g-money got g-greedy and instead of signing with the heat for the exception and making as good a chance to win it all as anyone else... he gets traded to the hated knicks. now while they are going to be a worse team with him than with ewing, seeing him try to shoot the j in that hideous uniform is just too much for me to bare. to make matters worse the lakers are even more powerful now with horace grant. someone's rice 41 heat jersey is gonna be burned the minute i get home to miami. *sniff*


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