Precursor to a Beatdown

Read all about it here. Adelman is calling out the Sonics for flopping and is sending video to the NBA. Surefire sign that the Kings are headed fishing. If history has taught us anything, it is that one of the 21st century's greatest sports cliches is:

-Coach/Player A on Team A complain about unfair treatment, cheating/disrespect for the rules by Team B
-Team B defeats Team A
-Player B from Team B states, "We'll beat them under any circumstances."
-Conclusion: Irony/Justice.

Now, I can't really think of a good example of this besides Tony Dungy ragging on the Pats's D-Backs for holding, but let me assure you, this is a sign of a desperate man.

In other news, I am incredibly happy that this story came to light. Make no mistake about it: Alonzo Mourning is a true jerk, who has somehow managed, with a few gestures, to make the general public see otherwise. The story of how he completely screwed over the team that basically mothered him when he was down and out was one of the most overlooked of the year. Boo to Zo. You are the despicable version of the Karl Malone Laker of last year. Go Heat. And Go Bulls.


At 5/01/2005 6:39 PM, Blogger Ian said...

Between this, Patrick Ewing's "we spend more money than other families" response to why he needs his huge contact and Mutombo going into Georgetown bars saying "who wants to sex Dikembe?," there's something really weird going on with those Hoya centers.

At 5/01/2005 7:14 PM, Anonymous Big Baby Brock(wurst) said...

Speaking of teams bitching about other teams, has anyone been following the Nuggets recent collective whine-fest about Manu, who apparently plays 'too ugly' for them. Following Saturday's game, Karl said about Ginobili's play, "I'm going to put it on tape and show my son how to play basketball -- just put your head down and run into people. I guess that's a new brand of basketball. It's not very pretty. He just goes in there and throws his arms up in the air and throws his elbows at us. He hits you as much as you hit him."

Dear Denver: let me introduce you to a country known as Argentina, where the national sports hero for the last twenty five years has been a fat, cocaine addict with a Che Guevara tattoo, named Diego Maradona, who in a world cup game scored one of the famous goals in sports history, not with his foot, but with 'the hand of god'. The point here is that in the rest of the world (i.e. soccer), scorer's are supposed to be insane, cheating is acceptable, and 'the flop' is an art form. If your leading scorer isn't falling flat on his face while doing a spread eagle and screaming in pain at the slightest tickle from a defender, something is wrong. I'm not necessarily trying to defend players flopping here, I just think it's funny that Carmelo and Karl are acting like Ginobili is some sort of unprecedented one-armed chicken, (which in some sense he is, since most foreign playerss are seven foot tall Balkan refugees who if they ever fell over, probably wouldn't get back up before their contracts expired), when it just seems obvious to me that Ginobili's just not American. Anyway, Ginobili plays crazy, and I like it.

While I'm bitching, if I hear another player say "Pick you poison" or "We got our swagger back" in these playoffs, I'm going to pants them. The only player I'll make an exception for is Kenyon Martin, who actually does swagger so much it looks like he's about to pull his own shorts off at any moment.

At 5/01/2005 7:19 PM, Blogger Dr. Lawyer IndianChief said...

B^3, That should really be is own post. GENIUS.

Ian, that isn't true about Mutombo is it? I always took him to be a class act.

At 5/01/2005 7:36 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

Please tell me there is some way to differentiate GInobili "ugly" from Nocioni ugly. I would hate to think that the mid-air insanity of Ginobili and Nocioni's state-of-the-art thuggery are actually one and the same, only a difference in size and degree.

That K-mart observation reminded me why, every time I see him doing anything other than playing for long stretches of time, he might as well be my favorite player in the league.

That Dikembe story dates from his college days. It's a myth that he did it in a club in Philly.

At 5/01/2005 8:28 PM, Blogger Brown Recluse, Esq. said...

1) i'll second THC's propers for the brilliant comment, big baby.

2) does any player have more swagger than amare?

3) ginobli plays offense like nocioni plays defense. so, it's okay.

At 5/01/2005 8:38 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

amare still looks like he's having fun out there. k-mart is a stone killer.

At 5/01/2005 9:00 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

remember, i'm not talking about how k-mart actually plays. only his best moments and his locker-room/sidelines/off-court steez. he spends way too much time in the game looking like someone just hit him over the head

At 5/01/2005 9:01 PM, Blogger Dr. Lawyer IndianChief said...

according to Yao Ming, K-Mart's neck tattoo means "not aggressive" or "indecisive."

At 5/02/2005 12:48 AM, Blogger Ian said...

I've heard it from a lot of my friends at Georgetown, and if you ask a sample of ten guys who are the type to check espn.com every twenty minutes, odds are, at least one will have heard this story. I've even heard a variation on it where he says that with his pants down. Urban legend or not, it's still pretty funny.

At 5/02/2005 1:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, this site is down now: http://www.whowantstosexmutombo.com

My other favorite Mutombo quote comes from this Inside Hoops interview with Mo Taylor: http://www.insidehoops.com/taylor-interview-111604.shtml

I dare you to try not to think about sexing Mutombo next time you moisturize now.

Your pal,
Jeff Reguilon

At 5/02/2005 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, I gotta thank Jeff Regulion for that article. "Bring my lotion on the bus!" Ha, classic!!!

At 5/02/2005 8:56 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

skip "droppin' knowledge" bayless says today that manu is the way he is because unlike white US players, he's not brought up thinking he's inferior to blacks.

also, is there any chance that jason willians is the white marbury? with the appropriately differing skill sets, of course.


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