FreeDrafto Post-Mortem: Style points

One of the major rules of draft worship is that the night itself is pure catharsis, the fulfillment of a thousand wasted internet hours. Afterwards, there is thankfully very little to say, reality sets in and you realize none of these picks matter much anyway, and you're ready to get on with your life.

That said, I feel it is my royal obligation to share with the FreeDarko/FreeDrafto/FreeFreeAgento (stay tuned) community a few pertinent morning after thoughts.

-Spiritual highlight beyond all earthly reproach: Martell Webster's grandmother's hat.

-Close second:

(I know I had some description of it up earlier today, but for some reason it's very difficult to explain in one sentence or less.)

-The big secret: May and Felton to the Cats is nice and all, but Charlotte already has a valiant academic All-American and a Slovenian dart manufacturer of unimpeachable naivetie holding down their frontline. Further proof that almost no one in this draft was taken to start.

-The real advatange of college players dominating the draft: they have personalities and histories, some of which we know, all of which we believe to be worthwhile. As breathlessly as I, in principle, support high schoolers and Euros being the zany stuff the draft is made of, it's better television when you've got young men, not babies or weirdos, standing front and center. They interview better and watching them go through the night actually means something, since you know a thing or two about them as people. Not trying to be on some "you followed their college career, so you care about their professional future"—that's NFL Draft all the way. But if the Draft is first and foremost human drama, better it be populated by the likes of Hodge, Wright, Paul, Warrick, the Tarheels, etc—you know them, they know you, and, paradoxically, it is only seasoned, mature prospects steeped in NCAA platitude that can make it a thing of style. And don't forget, this is a league of style.

-I don't think this really even needs to be said, but Vitale does not belong on there at all. It's like getting a strict creationist to yell in the background during Nova.

-Wire photo from last night most likely to win a Pullitzer:

(Monta Ellis and fam suffering through the insufferable)

-Danny Granger made a late entry into the ongoing "draft pick most resembling Pharrell" sweepstakes, though nothing that was going to unseat all-time champion Drew Gooden. But Gerald Green has got the "pre-pubescent Juvenile look-alike" category ON LOCK!

-New vaguely racist NBA draft trend: all Euros are indistinguishable from one another. Our beloved Vazquez and that Russian kid taken right after him might as well be zygote-sharers and I think they wore the same suit and frequent a similar barber.

-There are probably some useful things to be said about which picks are destined for greatness and who got the S.O.D. but quite frankly I just don't care. We have a saying at FreeDarko: "once a stone is set, it can never be repealed." As I end my FreeDrafto coverage, I would like to offer a slight variation: "the setting of the stones ends the twitter of reheating."

-Simmons in top form today in his draft diary. As usual, we agree on almost everything, and even his pop culture references come off well this time.


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