Dick Dancing with David

After reading this biopic on David Harrison at Deadly Hippos written by one of his CU teammates, I think Freedarko may have a new favorite backup center on its summer league team. I want to just post the whole damn article, but here are some highlights:

During a visit to Taco Bell very early one morning in Boulder, David initiated an altercation with another vehicle by cutting them off and skipping them in the drive-thru window. He then encouraged and challenged current deadlyhippos writer, JT that he wouldn’t “slap the guy that we just cut off behind us.” Please take into consideration that the only characteristic that JT has consistently shown during my 6 years of knowing him is that when he is “dared” to do something, he ALWAYS obliges, especially when the action has a disrespectful tone to it. JT exited the vehicle and it was not 10 seconds before he was coming back toward our vehicle. He got in and he was followed a few seconds later by an enraged man carrying a knife, who apparently had just been slapped. David exited the vehicle and the man continued his incensed attitude and said to David, “I don’t have to take this shit man; that shit was uncalled for.” David meanwhile was staring at the man and just had this to say to him; “You are right, you shouldn’t have to take that, but what else can you do. I will give you two options, one, you can hand me the knife and get back in your car and drive away; this is the option I suggest you take. Two, I will take your knife and use it on you.” The man handed the knife to David and angrily returned to his vehicle.

When preparing to cheer on our beloved Colorado Buffs against the hated and welfare-driven CSU (Colorado State) Rammies, we looked for appropriate attire for the football contest in Denver. The game began at 11am, so pre-drinking had to take place at 5am. I selected some jeans and a Colorado practice jersey and assumed David would think along the same lines. He emerged from his room wearing a wife-beater with the words, “Fuck CSU” affectionally emblazed on the front, written in shoe polish. We then went to our friend Will Anderson’s home, where David took Will’s CU flag off the wall and used it as a cape. After drinking heavily, we boarded a bus for Invesco field, the site of another drubbing CU gave to CSU. Rumor has it, several CSU fans took exception to my friend’s attire and one even approached him and squared off. He swung and missed and probably does not remember much after that. Harrison when asked what happened at a later date, said, “I had to show that fucker where I was from.”

The “dick dance” is something he enjoys doing. He will remove his clothes and allow his member to swing back and forth in front of a surprised victim or victims. The most notable occurrence of this was in college after practice. The coaches have a separate locker room door from the players and he knocked on the door and waited for the inhabitants to open. Once they did, he stood there naked, made eye contact with all of them, placed both his hands behind his head for dramatic effect, and began doing his famous dance.