Freedarko Offseason Workout
I have gone from hating Carmelo Anthony to becoming ultimately bored with him. Indeed my softening towards Melo coincided with what seemed a public campaign to sully the man’s name (I was sort of on some rock-snob “I hated his first season better” isht). I also found myself saying, “Wow, this guy could actually be really good” while watching the Nugs’ series with the Spurs last playoffs. Then again, I said the same thing about Glenn Robinson during his second season. What I learned from Friday’s SAS’s interview with Little Dog on “Quite Frankly,” is that Carmelo is not nearly as boring nor as intelligent as I previously thought. Shoals and I attempted to “chat” the interview and expound on points Shoals has made in the past about Melo’s improbable and insurmountable level of street cred (CHECK THE ARCHIVES). As usual, wallow in our excess:
Bethlehem Shoals: what are you damning about?
THC: the fact that he was just like "i had to stomp him out in the back of the club"
As is now well-known, Carmelo beat the shit out of some no-name rapper, Sugar Jay, after Jay spit on his ex-girl and current Melo fiancee, Lala Vasquez. I was impressed not only by Melo’s willingness to do so, as a prominent public figure who would presumably receive scrutiny for such a beatdown, but also for his incredible stupidity for practically bragging about it on national TV (Sidenote: Possible NBA Racial Semiotics pt. 75972Y324: We hear about athletes in public brawls all the time, yet Melo beats a rapper down in Babalu Night Club and the national media barely raises an eyebrow (bats an eyelash?)…was it dismissed as "thugs just being thugs?"). After unsuccessful attempts at baiting Melo to talk trash about Lebron and Larry Brown, SASmith sticks with the public life controversy stuff…asks about Melo’s appearance on the “Stop Snitchin DVD.” Melo jokes about the success of the sales of the DVD on eBay as well as the success of the DVD-inspired t-shirts. As to be expected, Melo flips the popularidiom
THC: hahaha "THE SHIRTS IS SELLIN LIKE PANCAKES"
BS: what if his nickname became "stop snitching"
The conversation turns to SAS asking Melo about the tumultuous period of time surrounding the Olympics fiasco, Stop Snitchin, the Marijuana in the backpack incident. Melo admits to crying during this period and seeing a therapist. Lala held him down too, evidently.
BS: melo is totally a crier
THC: odds on carmelo crying during this interview?
THC: he saw a therapist
BS: sports and therapy: a-rod and melo
BS: never artest
THC: TOO REAL
BS: artest would eat the therapist
BS: lebron would never interview this well
THC: theres no controversy with bron
THC: bron is magic pre-aids
THC: never airness
BS: lebron still mad young though
On the heels of some godforsaken ESPN columnist (who noted that the brilliance of Michael Jordan—unlike Kobe—was that he always knew when to keep himself out of the public eye, even when infidelities or other such scandals came up), I come the realization that what separates Melo from LeBron and Wade is his ability to speak frankly about dumb ass shit. You would never catch Bron talking about having to “stomp someone out” or even catch a hot-head like Paul Pierce running off at the mouth about therapy, drugs, wanting more playing time on the olympic team, jealousy towards fellow olympians, Larry Brown “not being Jesus.” Not to mention that Melo openly stated that he would LOVE TO PLAY FOR THE KNICKS. For true stars, there is too much at stake to be honest [SHOALS HAS AN ENTIRE THEORY ON THIS THAT I IMAGINE WE WILL GET INTO]. We may never see a Lebron interview that is remotely interesting. Magic taught him how to smile. MJ taught him how to keep his mouth shut. Barkley was the only star-caliber player with true freedom of speech
BS: i actually feel like i know melo now
THC: i dont really care about melo tho
BS: i don't care about him, but i like the guy now
BS: still won't watch him
BS: the question remains: how is he street?
THC: one word