Our sport is perfect

A few weeks ago, I got this shiver of anticipation for the NBA season. As in, if I have this much fun with the off-season, once the real thing starts I'll be through the roof.

In light of recent events in some of the other major sports, I'd like to send you on your way this weekend with a brief, fortune-cookie-like synposis of why, despite it all, we Assocation devotees will have the last laugh.

1. No steroids problem

2. No unnecessary threat of death, drowning, or mutilation

3. Magical race relations

4. No bullshit pretense about how professional athletes behave

5. Decent labor situation: management not hog-tied, players not living in fear

6. Fans that know the whole league, not just their team

7. Will never, ever prompt a column like this from self-made lightning rod Scoop Jackson.

8. Parity isn't crippling, dynasties that earn it

9. Storylines for days.

10. Because we are the fucking future.

And in case you think I got a little too militant there, here's a heartwarming image that makes my point better than anything above it (except for the other photo, which was supposed to do the same thing but isn't quite as obvious)