Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

Well, Minnesota, it's official. Sam Cassell is gone, as is Spree. Randy Moss is gone too. So are LaTroy Hawkins (thankfully) and David Ortiz. You've even managed to throw dirt on Kirby Puckett's name. You've gotten your wish. For the first time since George Mikan walked the parkways of Lake Calhoun, you have managed--with the newest addition of Richie Frahm--to construct the only NBA squad with the potential for an ALL WHITE LINEUP:

1 - Marko Jaric
2 - Richie Frahm
3 - Wally Szczerbiak
4 - Nikolosz Tskitishvili
5 - Mark Madsen

Frost Bit.



At 9/23/2005 10:39 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

besides the fact that that photo of madsen looks uncannily like the oc's very own jimmy cooper (who really, really should have been killed last night, not merely beaten. . . and i really, really should have asked to have chris rock's new show taped for me instead), the wolves also have the capacity to put together one of the blackest starting line-ups in the league:

PG: hudson
SG: mccants
SF: garnett
PF: troubled griffin
C: kandi man

okay, maybe it's just the amazing threesome of mccants, kg, and tg, and i probably don't know their roster, and i'm really not sure how to read owlokandi culturally, but it is a weird polarity they've got going in minny

At 9/23/2005 11:07 AM, Blogger Dr. Lawyer IndianChief said...

Dwayne Jones (undrafted St. Joe's defensive beast) can probably take Kandi's place in that lineup. Olowokandi is too British.

At 9/23/2005 11:15 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

this is totally unrelated, but someone has to make this joke: i hope the irony of raffy pointing fingers in baltimore has not been lost on anyone.

At 9/23/2005 1:15 PM, Anonymous brickowski said...

yeah, these things really write themselves. i was prepared to make the "raffy better hope he doesn't run into StopSnitching in B-More" joke yesterday morning, but Ian SexyResults beat us both to the punch.

At 9/23/2005 2:07 PM, Blogger quietmenace said...

Hey Trent. Lest us not forget that token Minnesota black friend Torii Hunter has sold his house and is renting a condo because of insider trade rumors. That leaves Jaques Jones and nine Canadians on the florescent MetroDome turf. If only Terry Tiffee were gay you would have the makings for Real World Minneapolis.

At 9/23/2005 3:08 PM, Anonymous Nels said...

I believe the Bulls' signing of Darius Songaila but them in this elite club too. Hinrich, Piatkowski, Nocioni, Jared Reiner, and now Songaila. They're whiter than white, and they're white'chall.

Also, if you put Austin Croshere at SG, the Pacers could field an all-white lineup... but I'm just mentioning that for the sake of playing Devil's advocate. And I'm not sure if Erazem Lorbek really counts anyway...

San Antonio could field the AW-Team if you count Fabricio Oberto. He's Argentinian, but he looks pretty white.

Seattle is close... they've got 5 white guys, but only 1 is under 6-9.

Utah has a legit linuep with Gordan Giricek, Matt Harpring (playing the 2), Andrei Kirilenko, Mehmet Okur at PF and Greg Ostertag. They've even got a 6th man with Ben Handlogten!

(As a final note, I'm not trying to be an ass or anything. I was actually interested in finding out the white guy situation in the league)

At 9/23/2005 3:14 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

Silverbird and the Baby once tried to draft an all-white fantasy team. . . when they picked yao in the fifth, it suddenly became just a "not-black" team. a few rounds later i think they grew disgusted with themselves and took van exel and stackhouse in a violent fit of repentance

At 9/23/2005 3:22 PM, Blogger Dr. Lawyer IndianChief said...

wow...nels, you're right about the bulls and pacers. but jazz dont have a legit white pg (deron is half white?)...i'm just saying, minnesota's lineup might be the whitest. with the exception of jaric (WHO IS A HUGE EXCEPTION), the aforementioned five embody WHITE.

frahm = gonzaga
skita = skita
madsen = mormon/bad dancing
wally = zoolander/long island/getting kicked in the face by bruce bowen


At 9/24/2005 5:06 AM, Anonymous Andy said...

Wait, which one gets to play the role of "Fan Favorite"? My casual read of the situation is that it's Madsen's to lose, but the Zerb-Man has the extremely large contract to add to his bragging rights.

Indiana has a similar situation in the Jeff Foster/Austin Croshere competition, but since Croshere's famed white man jump shot disappeared last year, Foster and his crazy eyes are on top now.

As for the Wolves' All-Black line-up, does Ebi get a mention?

At 9/24/2005 10:39 AM, Blogger Brown Recluse, Esq. said...

with ebi and olowakandi, you have to answer the question: are africans more or less black than african-americans?

also, i just wanted to say that i'm a big jeff foster fan, and i hate austin croshere.

At 9/24/2005 11:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

if Skita plays ten minutes of actual game time in MN all year, something is worng....kid has no ability whatsoever

At 9/25/2005 6:09 PM, Anonymous jeremy said...

hey dudes, i read yr page every day, thought you guys might appreciate this: i'm working in a hotel lobby in chicago, when a tall black dude walks in who i swear is in the nba. i cannot figure out who it is, dude leaves, and i'm thinking its the one and only eddie robinson. bellhop confirms it was indeed ERob. an hour later i'm walking to my car, regretting not saying anything to ERob, when i see jay williams on the street. not wanting to be left salty with regret again, i talk to jay for a few minutes, talk about the injury and the comeback and stuff, and wish him well. i asked where he's signing, and he said the hawks or the heat. i dunno if thats in the media or not, so theres an eenzy scoop for ya. word dudes, WORD UP EARLY 00s BULLS

At 9/25/2005 7:43 PM, Blogger glomgold said...

Darko (and of course my man Nenad) had decent outings in Eurobasket so if he's let loose this season in Detroit, what becomes of your site name?
Any team that wants a really white lineup needs to keep Hoiberg; that guy looks like he'd be a stud running 'the Picket Fence'. Oh, and pick up Radmanovic because that guy's skintone is so pale he should count as 2 white guys. He really does look like Dracula.

At 9/25/2005 10:28 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

the thought of us actually offering valuable information to the basketball-toting world is kind of a frightening one, mostly in the "i am anxious about this new and deadly chapter of my life" kind of way.

now, having blown the cobwebs off of my real basketball brain, let me say that williams to the hawks would be a godsend. he's supposedly not 100% yet, but with that line-up, like they need him to rely on speed, burst, and agility. he might be just the rock that roster needs to hang together (more the pebble that gets caught in the giant oyster and makes it an oyster with the pearl inside).

as for darko's actually ever getting free, there are several differing opinions on that in the freedarko lair of honor.

-the easy one: even if he gets PT, he's still not ready to contribute in a major way. he must free himself, as well as be freed by the pistons, for the prophecy to ring true.

-the meaphysical explanation: darko's freedom is not merely about him, it's a global question of relevance, indignity, and the will to survive. this could either mean that darko's already free, just by getting a contract and to the nba, or that he won't be free until the whole world, basketball or otherwise, is.

-the lazy one: for all sorts of practical reasons that most of you can probably figure out for yourselves, i'm hoping, and therefore assuming, that he won't. esp. since "skitatime," my original choice, is both less compelling (i actually yhink people don't like skita, on a personal level) and, quite possibly, also irreleveant after this season.


At 9/25/2005 11:50 PM, Anonymous Andy said...

White Wolves? Are the Minnesota ballers vampires now? If that's the case, they most assuredly need to sign Rad Man.

At 9/28/2005 12:28 PM, Anonymous illwafer said...

i take back any comments i have made in previous posts about the twolves not being white. you got me.

also, black people are "blacker" than africans. africans hate it when black people are called "african-americans".

where does that place olowokandi? well, he did get tazed at da club and has been known to be "lazy". you make the call.


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