Um, Basketball?

This has little to do with anything, but I would just like to say that there is no team that I like less in all of pro sports than the Boston Red Sox. I hope they have to play Cleveland in a one-game playoff and Aaron Boone hits a walkoff homerun. They are also the least Freedarko team in MLB, despite having perhaps THE MOST FREEDARKO baseball player on their team in David Ortiz (whom The Boston Globe recently reported is a huge fan of "reggaeTRON"). Ok, I'm done. I will now refrain from using "Freedarko" as an adjective for the duration of this post. As Shoals and others have pointed out, with this offseason lull, we have gotten far too self-absorbed.

In the more classical tradition of this blog, I come to sing to you the praises of a Euro unlike all others. His name is Mario Kasun. There is nothing funny about this guy. I cant even muster up any condescending bombast to spew, because I believe that this guy is actually fucking good and he is destined to be somewhat of a monster.



Let me reiterate, the guy doesn't act like your normal Euro. In fact, I thought he was one of those Jasikevicius/Songaila type guys who I get all Euro-amped on, and then all of a sudden realize, "Hey, wasnt that guy playing for Pitino in the final four back when Shawn Respert was being projected as a top-3 pick?" Then, I figure, OK, well at very least, the guy has GOT to be Russian. As the Masters of the Klondike have scoured the Eastern Bloc in search of the next Euro lottery obsession, we have methodically determined that Russians are the most full-of-heart Euros. But no, Kasun does NOT hail from the Red Curtain. He is from Croatia.

The first dead giveaway that he is not a Euro in the traditional Euro mold, is his fakeass Asian script tattoos. I once thought that these tattoos were only for K-Mart/Marcus Camby swaggering baller types and girls who like to ride the mechanical bull at Senor Frogs, but Kasun has shattered those stereotypes. He probably thinks they mean "strength" or "heart." Also unlike most 7-foot Euros, he does not have a weak upper body. Furthermore, he is arrogant. He screams when he dunks or blocks a shot. He idolizes Rasheed Wallace. And when asked if there were any famous names on Frankfurt Opel Skyliners team, he responds with a laugh, "Me." I strongly believe that it is he, who shall fulfill the prophecy of MONAS (the myth of the next Arvydas Sabonis). Sadly, stuck within the impenetrably deep Center rotation of Kelvin Cato, Andrew DeClerq, and Tony Battie, Kasun's time may not come soon enough. And so it is here that I plead his case and also warn you of his potential. No one believed me when I was championing Joel Przybilla's name when he was on the Hawks, but now look, he's NUMBER 10 in Chad Ford's 2006 Free Agent list.

Moving on...our NBDL coverage is long overdue. At first I was hyped about this, mostly because the T-Wolves have two guys--Bracey Wright and Dwayne Jones--who could STRONGLY benefit from playing in D-Block. And in Minnesota we're used to guys like Johan Santana and Big Papi himself coming up through our minor league system. But after the dust settled, I kind of side with Cuban. I feel sort of "eh" about the whole thing. I mean, like the best player in the CBA in the past five years was Devin Brown. I don't foresee too many rags to riches stories.


My only hope is that D-Block gives us more cool names like Smush Parker and Royal Ivey, and a few more Euros for us to chuckle at.

...I suppose our penchant for semi-coherent social commentary obligates us to discuss Eddy Curry's DNA as well and his agent's "this is bigger than sports" claim. Truth is, I am too sad to discuss this. I like Curry. Curry is Chicago...Chicago is my adopted sports home now, and this is just more bad news for a city who continued to devote themselves to this post-Jordan team through Artest, Elton Brand, Donyell Marshall, Jalen Rose, Jay Williams, Kendall Gill, and now...CUSP OF GREATNESS. The whole situation now casts a cloud of uncertainty over the franchise.


And as I suggested before, heart problems (Turiaf, Curry, Juwan Howard, Hoiberg) have surpassed Plantar Fascitis as the new trendy NBA medical problem (except heart problems are really serious, something I shouldnt be joking about). Certainly a bit creepy...but back to Chicago. The team's promotional slogan for the past few years has been, "THROUGH THICK AND THROUGH THIN." Their TV commercials were all about Kirk Hinrich in a black barber shop chatting with the locals. The naivete with which they crept up on the rest of the league last year was remarkable. None of the guys knew how to play the game the right way, they just played fucking hard as hell. Because when you're 20 years old and have just endured 2-3 years of Roy Williams/Coach K/Jim Calhoun rah-rah, you have no choice. You are young and hyper as hell and just want to bounce off the walls (others, like Nocioni are intrinsically hyper...it is in the Argentinian blood). The 05 Bulls were the defense-oriented version of the Wizards. And now I fear that the team is destined back in to sub-.500 obscurity.

Anyways, I'm gonna go fuck with this new Friendster "Who's Viewed Me" function now. Just wanted to remind everyone that the season is creeping ever-closer. And we are oh-so-ready.