Acronyms, Albanian Gangs, Africanizing Mormons, and More!

The Akron Beacon Journal reports that Damon Jones, Larry Hughes, and Lebron James have formed a little club with some sort of secret handshake that involves two low-fives, then a wave, then posing with their arms crossed in a b-boy stance. Upon being asked for an explanation, Jones said, "We're F.F.B.T., and I'm not going to tell you what it stands for and never will. All I can tell you is that the 'T' stands for team." That Damon Jones sure knows how to ingratiate himself with NBA superstars, doesn't he? Do you think he even tried to pull that sort of shit in Milwaukee, or did he just decide there weren't any stars big enough to suck up to? Anyway, we here at Freedarko love guessing the meaning of acronyms, and we have come up with the following attempts at deciphering the F.F.B.T. code. Feel free to add yours in the comments!

Famous Fur Bearers Team
Five-year, Fifty-million, Bron's Team
Flight For Bonus Team
Fall Fan Boy Team
Friends Forever Buddy Team
Fuck Fine Bitches Team
Fatal Flu Barrier Team
Friendster Facebook Blackplanet Team
Final Fantasy's Boring Team
Full Frontal Beaver Team
Free Form Ballet Team
Fresh Fly Ballers Team
Fake Fugazy Boxing Team
Final Four Bwahaha Team
Freedarko's Fucking Badass Team

Another recent news item that caught our attention was Sunday's New York Daily News calling Mark Blount's former legal guardian Maurizio Sanginiti "a pug-nosed convicted kidnapper, extortionist and mob enforcer" and claiming that he is the government's lead witness in "a racketeering conspiracy case involving an Albanian-led gang accused of wresting control of Bronx and Queens social clubs from Italian crime families." Albanian-led gangs? Bronx and Queens social clubs? What the fuck?

One final story stolen from a newspaper is the Pioneer Press account of how Shaq, offended by the Mad Dog's slovenliness, once bought Mark Madsen some sweaters when the two played together in LA. The colors of those sweaters: red, black, and green. THC opined that perhaps Shaq and Samaki Walker were attempting to Africanize the Mormon baller. I can just hear Shaq, 90's East Coast rap aficionado that he is, doing his best Professor X impression: "Here are some sweaters, representing the red, the black, and the green, with a key....YOU SISSSSSSAAAYYYY!"

Vanglorious!