Tears of Some Clowns

It began with an email confession from Shoals that "every time I see that stand-up comedy part of the KG commercial, I start crying," to which DLIC replied with the pronouncement that it was the "SADDEST COMMERCIAL EVER" and that KG was a very lonely man not unlike "David Ruffin circa first album post-Temptations." Shoals came back with "That commercial is totally Chris Bell in Europe," and it was on. Many emails and a couple text messages later, quite a list had been compiled, which is presented here for your enjoyment:

that commercial is oj simpson by himself watching the 2006 rose bowl
that commercial is jameer nelson on draft night
that commercial is rob babcock
that commercial is zora neal hurston in the last years of her life
that commercial is biz markie on celebrity fit club
that commercial is cappadonna
that commercial is tony soprano at the end of last season
that commercial is rashard lewis in the green room
that commercial is chris farley's death
that commercial is what "last days" should have been
that commercial is bo kimble's nba career
that commercial is ed harris' character in 'the hours'
that commercial is shareef abdur-rahim's arthritic knee
that commercial is BG
that commercial is geno auriemma
that commercial is derek fisher at the espy's
that commercial is charlton heston on the set of wayne's world 2
that commercial is peyton in new england
that commerical is johnny thunders in new orleans
that commercial is seth cohen in portland
that commercial is arthur ashe
that commercial is grady little
that commerical is peter jackson's "king kong"
that commercial is eating bi bim bab with my ex-girlfriend
that commercial is david letterman
that commercial is eminem's "say goodbye to hollywood"
that commercial is the gobi desert
that commercial is sophomore year homework involving 501 spanish verbs
that commercial is john chaney
that commercial is the ewing theory

that commercial is jandek
that commercial is bruce willis raising his kids
that commercial is carson palmer/chris henry
that commercial is "in living color" re-runs on bet
that commercial is the last scene of "aimee and jaguar"
that commerical is the finale of "cheers"
that commercial is beans waiting for visitors
that commercial is the end of an eightball
that commercial is tvz's major label deal
that commercial is "the dock of the bay"
that commerical is unitas in san diego
that commercial is the veterans' committee
that commercial is "mr. lonely" screwed and chopped
that commercial is every z-ro song not about sex or guns
that commercial is vincent foster
that commercial is richard manuel in "the last waltz"
that commercial is just akon
that commerical is big o crying
that commerical is kickers
that commercial is that gary wilson album
that commercial is thin lizzy
that commercial is the obligatory white big man on every big 10 team
that commercial is the gigantic building-sized cross near amarillo, texas
that commercial is webber's TO
that commercial is al gore conceding
that commercial is time travel
that commercial is sinatra at the oscars
that commercial is dimaggio sending weekly roses to marilyn's grave
that commercial is kobe bryant

It ended with Shoals lying in bed for an hour clutching his woman's arm, unable to speak, finally mustering the energy to send one final email: "You don't understand how incredibly sad this has made me."

KG, we feel your pain.