4.25.2006

From a distance

For once, I will forgive someone commenting anonymously. We're probably not the only people throwing this up hastily this morning, but suffice to say that this official all-caps moment in NBA sideshow history deserves its own country, and the man who pointed us toward this should be paddled out into the middle of a lake and fed pastry.



GOD IS WATCHING US!!!!!

30 Comments:

At 4/25/2006 9:09 AM, Blogger T. said...

I think I had a vision of that jacket late in the afternoon on Saturday riding the MS150 when I was severly dehydrated and it appeared like a vision at the top of a hill.

I shift into the big chainring and began to crank towards it - but it always remained in the distance, hovering above the road's surface. It was then that Jim Morrison appeared on my right shoulder.

"Ride the Mamba" he said. And I knew he was right. The Lakers concept of team basketball isn't working.

Ride the fucking Mamba.

That jacket led me all the way into La Grange.

 
At 4/25/2006 9:27 AM, Blogger Joey said...

The Holy Grail! Where did you find this? And also, I want to let you know now that I will be stealing this (credited, of course).

Don't let Rip play tomorrow, Flip!

 
At 4/25/2006 9:38 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

some brave soul without a name left directions in the comments for the suns/lakers post. it was in a lakers forum.

i though of leaving a message in your comments that "we found it!" but that could've come off as gloating. big game hunting and all that.

 
At 4/25/2006 9:39 AM, Blogger Mirabeau Lamar said...

T, your story is an amazing tale of the apparition of La Santa Chaqueta. I too was visited by that holy garment, when it appeared to me in a dream. La Chaqueta spoke to me of injustice, of the wisdom and tragedy of Bruce Lee, of the oft-forgotten Sky Hook, and of the truth that Islam means "to submit." Santa Chaqueta warned me against placing money on the possibility of the Staples Series and revealed itself as the ghost of Marlon Brando's Native American phase. Then it scalped me . . . metaphysically speaking.

 
At 4/25/2006 10:33 AM, Anonymous Kaifa said...

The jacket as silent encouragement for Andrew Bynum? Something like "When I rub the feather on my forearm it means 'I believe in you'"? Or "tapping the leaf on my right shoulder twice stands for 'you could baby-hook Diaw to death' - even Kwame can!"?

 
At 4/25/2006 10:42 AM, Blogger mutoni said...

I am paralyzed with fear. Stunned into submission. Whatever The Jacket (because it deserves caps) wants, The Jacket gets!

 
At 4/25/2006 10:52 AM, Blogger Mirabeau Lamar said...

La Santa Chaqueta (The Jacket) looks strikingly similar to the sign that Constantine saw in the sky before the battle of Milvian Bridge. Perhaps a sign for Kobe to deliver the championship to LA?

In hoc signo vinces!

 
At 4/25/2006 10:57 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

wait, isn't he some kind of grand imperial assistant? why was he in the stands?

 
At 4/25/2006 11:22 AM, Blogger Brown Recluse, Esq. said...

grand imperial assistants don't get to sit on the bench.

 
At 4/25/2006 11:33 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

don't get to or don't have to?

and don nelson's regime with the mavs used to roll like twenty deep on and behind the bench.

 
At 4/25/2006 11:53 AM, Blogger T. said...

The real honest guess, is that it's a jacket from his time spent teaching basketball on the indian reservation (he wrote a book about it).

Still, I really did see it floating over the MS150 peleton halfway through Saturday.

 
At 4/25/2006 12:06 PM, Blogger Neil Scientist said...

I'm not sure real Indians would wear that jacket. Though it does look like it's using all of the buffalo: hide, eyes, nose, plastic floral embroidery, bedazzler, et al.

Other bizarre Kareem fashion decisions include: an inexplicable 53" skinny tie at his 2004 book signing:

http://eyeonbooks.com/gallery/abduljabbar.jpg

and

in 2005, him clearly no understanding the expected attire at this event:

http://www.emediawire.com/prfiles/2005/09/28/291544/Kareem_Dancing_Rabbis.jpg

No wonder his moodiness has never conveyed dignity, despite his best efforts.

 
At 4/25/2006 12:23 PM, Anonymous Tinns said...

Of course he seems to be wearing a mood ring as well, the cerulean gleam betraying apprehension and/or unease.

 
At 4/25/2006 12:28 PM, Blogger T. said...

Is it wrong to enjoy the fact that the photo is entitled "Kareem_Dancing_Rabbis" ? I don't know if anything could be more FreeDarko.

 
At 4/25/2006 1:17 PM, Blogger Joey said...

I think that Mark Aguirre holds the title for most time superfluously spent on a bench. What does that guy do, exactly? Does his business card say "Isiah's Bitch"? Are the "coaching" positions he holds really meant for Adrian Dantley?

He and Kareem could start a show called "Mystery Men." Each week, they'd wear funny costumes (see photo above) and have different jobs, all the while trying to solve a caper, like "Why hasn't Mike Dunleavy Jr. been arrested for stealing money?"

 
At 4/25/2006 1:41 PM, Blogger The Universal Cynic said...

He looks like he's attempting to channel Pierre Trudeau. Somebody hand that man a birchbark canoe and the keys to the residence of the Canadian Prime Minister.

 
At 4/25/2006 1:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure Kareem could sit on the bench if he wants to, but chooses to sit in the stands.

 
At 4/25/2006 2:01 PM, Blogger Neil Scientist said...

Maybe he was sitting on the bench, but la chaqueta brought out the hecklers (probably from the bench itself), so he decided to sit in the stands instead of taking off la chacqeta. You know, because he's a man of principle, and la chaqueta isn't just a fashion piece, it's also a principle.

 
At 4/25/2006 2:07 PM, Blogger T. said...

Actually, anon, checking the NBA rule book (http://www.nba.com/media/rule_book_2005-06.pdf) - it's on page 85 - each team is limited to 1 head coach, 3 assistant coaches, 1 trainer and players.

 
At 4/25/2006 2:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey the man averaged a double-double over 20 seasons, he can wear whatever the hell he...... no, on second thought, that's really hideous.

 
At 4/25/2006 2:20 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

what i wouldn't give to hear bynum, the "good kid" who is being groomed for relevance by one of the association's most formidable seven footers, try and come up with something complimentary about the jacket. because you know you can't say nothing about that.

if they somehow sneak away with this series, that should become their good luck charm. and i'm not just talking about kareem in it--cheap replicas sold at the staples center, press conferences held in it, odom getting fined by the dress code police for strolling out the team bus in one.

has anyone actuallly fully considered how fucking big that thing must be?

 
At 4/25/2006 2:21 PM, Blogger Joey said...

>"...but la chaqueta.."

I fully expect to see Jimmy Walker wearing this jacket with jeans and chancletas in the next Cam'ron video.

 
At 4/25/2006 4:23 PM, Blogger GentleWhoadie9000 said...

Damn, a sky hook would have looked so much better with trailing fringe.

 
At 4/25/2006 4:47 PM, Anonymous Kaifa said...

Kareem way back in the day!

http://gallery.powermemorialacademy.com/data/9/1Kareem1965_1.jpg

 
At 4/25/2006 4:49 PM, Blogger mutoni said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 4/25/2006 4:51 PM, Blogger mutoni said...

To expand on your idea, Shoals, the Lakers should give away replicas of The Jacket at Staples for games 3 & 4 instead of some lame-ass yellow tee shirts. The Suns would be finished. I am absolutely convinced of this.

And yes, the joint Kareem was wearing must be enormous. The man is 7 foot 2 for crying out loud. I'd be willing to bet that only one of those was made.

 
At 4/25/2006 5:21 PM, Blogger Mr. Babylon said...

He looks a little cooler here...
http://www.christies.com/images/departments/pht/1199_37.jpg

 
At 4/25/2006 6:02 PM, Anonymous ml said...

he looks like he should be charlie villanueva's dad. Albeit wearing a hideous jacket...

 
At 4/25/2006 9:44 PM, Anonymous Carlos Destrroyo said...

This seems like the kind of thing Andy Bynum would gripe about in his MySpace blog.

"old man be tellin me how to ball but he dont understand that im not listening until he takes off the chaps. cant have a game without style lol"

I'd bet any amount of money he would list such an entry as protected; it's a rule of the planet to not piss off anyone 7 foot or higher.

 
At 4/26/2006 9:47 AM, Blogger Vegan Viking said...

If the internet and all of you had been around in the '70s, would Kareem have been one of FreeDarko's favorites? Completely eccentric, depth of character, a fascinating personality away from the game, desire to be something more than a basketball player, a unique game, a little bit weird?

 

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