A New Hope Emerges

It's now buried on ESPN.com's NBA page, but yesterday afternoon B.J. Armstrong, who I previously knew primarily as the baby-faced point guard during the first Bulls dynasty, conducted a chat in which he proved himself to be the leading candidate to succeed Bill Walton as the game's most bombastic and brilliantly incoherent commentator. It's clear that he studied at the feet of Phil Jackson, and not because he claims P-Jax should have won Coach of the Year and gives Kobe not only this season's MVP, but also Top 5 all-time status. It's Armstrong's faux zen koans like, "Every team has the same exact problems." (on the difference between the Nuggets and the Pistons) and "He's wise and lazy. He understands there's nothing to do and something to do." (on Jackson himself) that reveal the depth of "the Zenmaster's" influence. By the end of the transcript, I wasn't sure whether he was a genius or totally full of shit. I'm leaning toward the latter, but read it and decide for yourself!

Also, if you haven't peeped it yet, make sure you read Shoals' latest McSweeney's post and today's companion piece. Essential reading for the start of your weekend.


At 4/28/2006 2:45 PM, Blogger T. said...

BRE, you're absolutely right. This is absolute brilliance:

chauncey (teaneck): what do you think of kobes jersey change?

SportsNation B.J. Armstrong: It's fantastic. He wore the number because of his high school camp number added up to eight - 143. Isn't it all wonderful that 2 times 4 equals 8? He's transforming himself right in front of us. He's a magician.

He's a magician indeed. But I ain't talking about K.O.B.E.

At 4/28/2006 3:34 PM, Anonymous White People Don't Know said...

Here's the best part:

"jon B. Penn: Hey B.j, what is your prediction on the Lakers-pheonix series? after last night's game, can and will it go to seven games?

B.J. Armstrong: The Nets upsetting the Heat. The Heat haven't had time to develop the team chemistry. Because of this, the Nets will have ample opportunity IF they can get past the Pacers to upset the Heat. If those two are to matchup in the second round, this will be a 7-game series, one that I'm not willing to make a prediction yet."

the truth is always true.

At 4/28/2006 4:23 PM, Blogger Mirabeau Lamar said...

Maybe at next year's ASG, BJ could take on the reigning champ, Walton, in the newest ASG competition for color commentators: the Hyperbolympics. Each color man is given the chance to analyze a routine free throw, an outlet pass and a three-seconds violation. The man with the most ludicrous references to "the best . . . in Western Civilization" or Tolstoyesque axiom of basketball untruth will then go into a sudden death match with Barkley as they call a one-on-one game between Jon and Brent Barry. The most references to genetics, family tradition, hustle and heart wins the competition.

At 4/28/2006 4:24 PM, Anonymous Aaron said...

Yeah... B.J. Armstrong is pretty amazing. It's too bad he looks terrified every time there's a camera pointed at him. If they give him enough time to get comfortable with the camera in front of him... just imagine the possibilities.

Did anyone catch the C-Webb interview at halftime of the Bulls-Heat game? Barkley very, very nearly got C-Webb to admit that he hates when AI hogs the ball. I was really disappointed.

At 4/28/2006 8:40 PM, Anonymous ml said...

am I wrong in remembering that I read somewhere that BJ became something of an emotional mentor/advisor to Jordan late in his career?


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