We crap with utensils
A week of FreeDarko on MySpace, a new gospel under the world's belt, and us precariously low on fan love. Answers were needed.
“To better understand those and those among us/may this speech speak for itself”
Dr. Lawyer IndianChief: so,
DLIC: ground rules
Bethlehem Shoals: no cursing
DLIC: someone puts up a link (we start with the ones on the list)
DLIC: then we discuss what the profile says about the player and talk about whether it's real or not
Brown Recluse, Esq.: why can't we curse?
BS: i almost bought two white kemp jerseys today for the seed
BS: i nominate the villanueva page.
BS: doesn't have a real url
BR: that's something to consider
BS: "a page like no other" indeed
BS: shit is barely a myspace
DLIC: i think that might make it more legit
BR: all these hoodrat girls think it's real enough
BS: it's total insecurity
BS: also he couldn't get away with being "the chosen one" on an official website
BS: it's almost like he's a kid pretending to have a star's website
BR: that dude jihad that posted the picture with ben gordon seems to be an actual friend of charlie v's
BS: the fact that he has all hot chicks has his top 8
BS: makes it more legit but far less legit, if you know what i mean
BS: like why would someone who had a site like this need to prove that
DLIC: i want to find a player's site that answer's yes/yes to the smoke/drink question
BS: or why couldn't he see that if you roll like this, you've got to not then jump up and yell "pussy"
DLIC: let's really eff with it
BR: horrible site design
BR: andray is our little lamb
DLIC: kid is clueless
BR: he brings the pain like method man
BS: but check his comments
BR: pain is pleasure
BS: all real
BS: kid was clearly the king of his planet
BS: but he ain't bynum, so it's still just locals
DLIC: what does it say that charlie v had all hot chicks in his top 8
DLIC: and andray has all dudes
DLIC: is that like, when you're six, you dont really like girls
DLIC: but once you're eight, you love girls?
BR: “you fuckin these sexy ass bitches now remember the bitches you use to fuck yuck!”
BS: i think it just shows that charlie has no friends
DLIC: that makes a lot of sense
DLIC: andray = high school = still has peers
BS: i stand by what i said last week
BS: villaneva is kind of satanic
BS: not just cause he's deformed
BR: not only does andray have all dudes, he has a shirtless dude named ASS & TITTIES ASS & TITTIES
DLIC: there is ONE andray profile
DLIC: and like a million andrew bynum profiles
BS: self-fulfilling prophecy
BS: bynum is the orignal myspace/nba savior
BS: deadspace, us, etc. shouted it out
BS: and now he's for some reason the player you'd make a fake profile of
BR: right, he's the poster boy for high school basketball stars with myspace pages
BR: blatche is super slept on in general
BR: he wasn't a micky d's all-american, i don't think
DLIC: he needs to play for the bobcats
BS: they wizards really like him
BS: i need an analogy
BS: for bynum
BS: it's like, if someone wanted to kill a politician, it would be another kennedy
BS: i honestly think that's why that asian guy killed BFK
BR: lol at that asian guy
BS: wait, what i meant was
BS: there's no reason to kill a politician
BS: like there's no reason to make a fake profile
BS: but with bynum, or kennedys,
BS: it's now what they exist for
BS: YOU HAVE NO CHOICE
BS: but to kill a politican or make a fake profile of an nba player
DLIC: it has to be this profile
BR: he'd like to meet shaq??
BR: he sure did!!
BS: that might be a joke?
BS: we should tell will to start "deadspace"
DLIC: what is deadpsace?
BR: shaq elbowed the fuck out of him
BS: yeah but that baseline move was nice
BS: baby curry
DLIC: now go to the pics
DLIC: LOOK AT THE CENTER ONE
DLIC: "EDDIE GRIFFIN CHALLENGE"
BS: can we rename the blog "eddie griffin challange?"
DLIC: WHY IS HE WEARING THAT JERSEY?
BR: ha ha, eddie griffin challenge does have a different meaning
BR: he has an AAU tournament in philly
BR: tim thomas has a team, too
BR: lots of nba players fund teams
BS: FRANCISCO ELSON FORENSICS!!! bring dat!
BS: francisco elson funiacs
DLIC: Sheed's seeds
BS: mobley's motherfuckers
DLIC: kobe's mobleys
BS: L O FUCKING EL
BR: laughing of english as a foreign language
BS: gerald's heralds
BR: Gil’s pills
BS: jumaine jones' moans
DLIC: why does bynum want to meet "lloyd banks"
DLIC: is he trying to be underground?
DLIC: like, just say it
DLIC: you want to fucking meet 50
BS: lloyd banks would be a good g-uniter to know
BS: he gets into parties
BS: unlike yayo
BS: but still packs heat
BR: maybe he thought that lloyd banks gay porn rumor was for real
BS: "eddie griffin lloyd banks/cat mobley in same room challenge"
DLIC: double dare
DLIC: think of this as intermission:
BS: this cat is my unborn child
DLIC: or is it just stupid to talk about profiles that are clearly fake
DLIC: thats true
BR: man, "i grew up FAST" really says it all
BS: i mean this actual cat
BS: not ebi
BS: see, i'm just dumb
BS: but i have a super low threshold for "real" on these
BS: like think how dumb athletes are
BS: and for some weird reason, only lebron has realized that he should have some of his people involved in maintaining his
BS: hello j.r. smith
BR: why is ebi's fake
DLIC: because he isnt from this country
BS: i don't know
DLIC: "elk groove, minnesota"
BS: that could just mean location
BS: you really assume he did it right?
DLIC: elk grove is a shitty town you always have to drive through on your way up north
BS: that comment inspired me to be the one who edits and post this
BS: for once
BS: peep the comments on ebi
BS: why would someone keep up that much insulting
BS: ebi's is making me about to cry
DLIC: ebi might be dead for all we know
BS: it''s like kwame with a brain stem
DLIC: that sounds like drugs
DLIC: drug slang
DLIC: "kwame with a brainstem'
BS: is kwame named after the new generation?
DLIC: better yet
DLIC: is he named for the biggie smalls lyric about kwame
DLIC: like thats how much he gets shit on
DLIC: his parents named him after a kwame diss
BS: do any nba players watch gray's anatomy?
DLIC: FUCK no
BS: other than peja, who doesn't really get it
DLIC: not even paul shirley
BS: but thinks it might help him learn english
BS: or get chicks
DLIC: g.a. is whiter than white
BS: ebi is watching gray's with his teddy bear right now
DLIC: this shit is fucking fake
BS: dude was in the dunk contest
BS: but as silverbird put it
BS: "not every girl who comes across his page saw that dunk contest and it was his shining moment"
BS: then this brings up the whole thing with comments
BS: that know the site are fake but act as if they're real
BS: so like the person could find the fake and see it had become a virtual profile for them
DLIC: like thurl bailey
BS: how about the paul one?
DLIC: paul is real, right?
DLIC: 300 comments
DLIC: i'm taking that back
DLIC: chris paul is dissing reddick? shit is fucking fake
BR: are we getting anything worthwhile here?
BS: oh yeah
DLIC: but when it's edited down
DLIC: PURE GOLD
BS: EDDIE GRIFFIN CHALLNEGE GOLD
DLIC: you know he hit a parked car the other day?
BS: wait, is it weird that crawford is from the northwest?
DLIC: he probably likes matisyahu
BR: there are a lot of ballers from the pacific NW lately
BR: marvin williams, martell webster, nate rob
DLIC: or http://www.myspace.com/martell8
DLIC: the second one is CHILDISH
BS: is that real? 87 friends? and pictures of all the blazers?
BS: that first one is real. look at the pictures.
BS: what's with his hair in the second photo?
BS: and letter jacket + white guy?
DLIC: he is from washington
DLIC: oh shit
DLIC: i forgot
DLIC: he's got his aunt
DLIC: beulah walker looking out for him
DLIC: WE NEED THAT HAT
DLIC: it's actually his aunt i thought
BR: that first one is real
BS: can someone explain that hair for me?
BS: after that we can kill it.
DLIC: i can't explain it
BS: his aunt?
BS: is dead?
BR: it was his grandma at the draft. she's raised like 40 kids or something
BR: she's alive, but need to kill this chat some time soon