FD Opening Night CentCom, Act II
Anyone looking for actual writing should be on the look out for my deifnitive meditation on Amare, coming to a Deadspin near you at some point tomorrow. But as promised, we followed up our first chat session with another installment during the first half of Lakers/Suns. Unfortunately, I was so busy editing it down that I only half-appreciated the Lakers' comeback; I take it that the Suns got trounced in the paint by Bynum, Evans, and Walton, Odom added another chamber to his catacombs of mystery, and Farmar proved that he's Bibby, not Jewish.
Brown Recluse, Esq.: luke walton is starting
BR: ANDREW BYNUM
BR: bynum is like a better version of brendan haywood
Bethlehem ShoalS: fuck i had it on the wrong channel
BS: opening night!!!
BS: underrated aspect of the suns: everyone twists like a shooting guard in the lane
BS: it's like the gameplan is LITHE
BR: ha ha
BS: remember when everyone was tryng to trade for thomas?
BR: i think we've talked many times about how weird it is that 6'10 rugged dudes who can rebound are so valuable.
BR: it's like, you're 6-10, 250, go out there and rebound and play defense, and you'll always have a job. what the fuck?
BR: you always need rebounds
BR: chuck is d-wade's lil penny
BS: with the game going like it is, there's more and more long boards, less post necessity
BR: 6-10 guys can rebound anything they want
BS: not if they can't move backwards
BS: or whatever the opposite of lateral is
BR: if they jump high enough
BR: and quickly enough
BS: thomas can't jump
BS: at least not up
Dr. Lawyer IndianChief: they should have started amare
DLIC: what was the point of keeping him on the bench for four and a half minutes
DLIC: kill his confidence
BS: daggers in my heart on the pick and non-roll
BR: dlic doesn't know, probably, but i drafted amare in the third round
BS: i never knew but the opposite of a finisher is odom
BS: if i knew how to play basketbakll i would hate odom
BS: that was it
BR: so good
DLIC: i missed the amare dunk
BR: vujajic is terrible
DLIC: i figured some shit out
DLIC: the diving board lebrons commercial is the black rushmore
BS: wow, amare is really up there
BS: a little feathery
BR: seriously, vujajic is awful
BS: but he's got that lift
DLIC: the lakers are completely irrelevant
DLIC: they are the cowboys of the nba
DLIC: there is nothing interesting about the cowboys
DLIC: but t.o. and parcells means always on sportscenter
DLIC: fuck the lakers whole shit
DLIC: the lakers...
DLIC: are disrespectful to odom's pain
DLIC: nobody cares
DLIC: they have no dawgs
DLIC: except vlad
BR: dude, you're drunk
DLIC: kobe, vlad, and odom
DLIC: i'm being serious
DLIC: the lakers have zero dawgs
BR: walton's not a dawg
BR: smush is kinda dawgish
DLIC: they're too young
DLIC: they all think they'll win championships in the future
DLIC: odom is playing for right now
BS: odom is younger than me
DLIC: i'm just saying
BR: kobe wanted a team with people who looked up to him, which means young and no dawgs
BR: kobe can only dominate teammates that are a little bit pussy
DLIC: phil jackson doesn't care
DLIC: kwame's eyes are womanish
BS: we are totally phil jackson
DLIC: don't put that thing in the chat about the black rushmore
DLIC: WHERE IS VLAD?
DLIC: tex winter is freedarko
BS: is tex winter even texan
DLIC: watch the adidas commercial closely
BS: fake parade
DLIC: WHY IS THERE A TIPCUP ON THE DJ TABLE FOR THE DUNCAN SEGMENT?
DLIC: i always wonder that
BS: one more thing: when did odom get such a scorer's instinct?
BR: i don't know, he's always had a weird sort of b-ball iq
BR: like, he's a savant
BR: i mean, an idiot savant
BS: good with isolated complex problems but oblivious to the whole or the final application?