Behold NBA Highlight Semiotics

Hello, this is Bethlehem Shoals. I'm guessing you've seen this video already; I myself was not aware of its existence until one J.E. Skeets hipped me to it this morning. Here are my notes on the subject:

-Rap songs in which someone "is back" are always better than those that don't. Hence, this eclipses the Kandiman dunk.

-Slowing down an Amare move totally strips it of all its wonder. Not to get all quick/fast on you, but the most remarkable thing about Stoudemire's game is that absent instant between rest and full force. He doesn't just explode; that implies a transition of some sort. One second he's gliding like a guard, and then out of nowhere, immovabele object. At least Marion has the decency to stretch forth with something resembling ordinary motion. Amare is a teleporter, and comic books not so far from kid religion.

-It's easy to estimate the many ways this fetes Amare, but what about that other dude (who, incidentally, is basically Amare Lite)? I was going to hold an essay contest, in which anyone capable of providing me an answer would be given a secret mask. Then, I figured it out myself. As was said a hundred times on that ASW Great Dunks show, the best dunkers are also expert at avoiding the poster shot. Watch Wallace lean just out of the frame and knowingly turn his head away.

-If you ask me, you can even see it in his hint of an expression. Like when ancient warriors of honor view their own slaying as an object.

-Finally, you can't blame him for at least being in there a little. Last I checked, Wallace is a pretty formidable defender, and a showman in his own right. He obviously wanted to try and make a play on the drive, or at least investigate the situation. Multiplicity gambled, out of vanity, by trying to get position when he had no chance. Don't feel sorry for him—he picked his fate, and accepted it like he was looking in the mirror.


At 3/08/2007 8:04 PM, Blogger Pooh said...

But did Nash make the Stinkface? Just ask Reggie, that makes the dunk.

Maybe it's a result of the surgery and what not, but upon careful study, I'd have to say that Amare doesn't have quite the aspect of 'tightly coiled menace' that was Seattle Shawn Kemp

At 3/08/2007 8:29 PM, Blogger Wild Yams said...

Was anyone else rather amazed that even with Kurt Thomas and Amare back with Phoenix, this past weekend against the Lakers (minus Odom, Walton, etc) Phoenix still was forced to slow it down and play half-court ball? Does this bode poorly for the Suns come playoff time if they happen to play a team who has some kind of an inside presence? Going into that Suns-Lakers game I fully expected the Suns to either run-n-gun on them or have Amare & KT offset the Lakers supposed inside dominance they had last year, or both. Phoenix did neither and was actually relatively lucky to pull off a win against a badly depleted Laker team that they should beat even if LA is full strength. Surely the Suns were up for this game against the Lakers (after losing to them on opening night with Kobe sitting on the bench in a suit). So what gives?

At 3/08/2007 8:47 PM, Blogger d.d. tinzeroes said...

The Bobcats are like some sort of phantom team to me. Now that I think about it, I've NEVER seen a Bobcats game. That said, yr dead on: G.Wallace was decisively going for a decisive highlight play of his own there. I declare yr opinions of Wallace (i.e., awesome) validated.*


*some restrictions may apply. void where prohibited.

At 3/09/2007 1:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

no secret mask, i presume, for catching the matthew brady pic - "other than that, mrs. lincoln..."

At 3/09/2007 2:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what part of the poster did wallace avoid????


At 3/09/2007 9:25 AM, Blogger Wade said...

Last (hydrostatic equilibrium)night (Fraunhofer lines) this dude (radio recombination line emission) dunked a (secular parallax) basketball (Chandrasekhar limit) hard.

At 3/09/2007 11:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darkofan: On the NBA Channel, some of this year's slam dunk contest judges , who couldn't see Dwight Howard's feat, called Dominique Wilkins the best they ever saw , dunking in game (other than themselves , of course). The video of Amari recalls Wilkins, something about the locked knees.

At 4/04/2007 4:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cool info about the NBA, but I was also thinking of shedding some more light on the WNBA, which doesn’t get much publicity, although it should. Here are some interesting facts about the WNBA:

On February 15, 2005, NBA Commissioner David Stern announced that Donna Orender, who had been serving as the Senior Vice President of the PGA Tour and who had played for several teams in the now-defunct Women's Pro Basketball League, would be Ackerman's successor as of April 2005.

The WNBA awarded its first expansion team in several years to Chicago (later named the Sky) in February 2005. In the off-season, a set of rule changes was approved that made the WNBA more like the NBA.

The 2006 season was the WNBA's tenth; the league became the first team-oriented women's professional sports league to exist for ten consecutive seasons. On the occasion of the tenth anniversary, the WNBA released its All-Decade Team, comprising the ten WNBA players deemed to have contributed, through on-court play and off-court activities, the most to women's basketball during the period of the league's existence.

In December of 2006, the Charlotte Bobcats organization announced it would no longer operate the Charlotte Sting. Soon after, the WNBA announced that the Charlotte Sting would not operate for the upcoming season. A dispersal draft was held January 8, 2007, with all players except for unrestricted free agents Allison Feaster and Tammy Sutton-Brown available for selection. Teams selected in inverse order of their 2006 records, with Chicago receiving the first pick and selecting Monique Currie.

For more info on NBA, NFL, MLS and NASCAR you are welcome to visit my future blog.

Michael S.
USA Sports News


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