Quakers are pussies

My Aggies are about to tip it off against Penn, and I just wanted to get some shit clear from the jump. I know Penn is an Ivy League school and all that, but that really doesn't mean shit to me. Texas A&M is consistently among the top ten public universities each year in terms of the enrollment of National Merit scholars, bet you didn't know that, did you? We're also currently one of only 13 universities to be triple designated as land-, sea-, and space-grant. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds pretty sweet, don't it? So, whatever, the academics are pretty much a wash. We don't need a bunch of rich kids coming down to Texas trying to muck it up. We keeps it too real for that. And we got the George Bush Presidential Library up here, and Penn is not fucking with that. Benjamin Franklin may be on the 100 dollar bill, but he wasn't ever President, was he, motherfuckers? No, he wasn't. But, you probably didn't know that either.

Let me tell you something else about the Aggies. We were the first university in the world to clone a cat! We were also the first to clone a horse and a white tail deer. And we did some pigs and a goat, too, whatchu know about THAT? One last thing: we're rocking a full-time corps of cadets program, and we send more commissioned officers to the U.S. Armed Forces than any other school with ROTC, while you Quaker pussies are too scared to even hold a gat. The game hasn't started yet, and it's already over.



At 3/15/2007 4:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

read this while "aggie war hymn" plays in the bg., and i think you got the texas a&m ncaa psa for this season.

At 3/17/2007 11:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you fucking kidding, you're a fucking aggie? Oh my fucking lord, we need to be nice to you, you poor unfortunate Aggie. Though there is no cure, and your life will surely be haunted by the shame and indignity of the position that education affords, knowing this now, we assure you, we will be nothing but beacons of kindness.


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