The Upside Down Bonk

I was planning a tall post for Monday on the Suns' psychology, but then they went and dropped two in a row, and looked like marginal hell against Denver. . . suddenly I'm not so motivated. I do want to note, however, that the Nuggets were absolutely scintillating last night, and that a healthy, wealthy Denver is probably better for the league than keeping Phoenix completely indestructible. As for the Spurs crapping out again the mighty Green Babies, that's just funny. I refuse to believe that the Celtics have suddenly found their identity, or that it's Pierce, Jefferson, and whichever one of the other pups plans to bust out that night. It would be cool and all, but I would be just as pleased to see Ainge squander his talent, and all of them star elsewhere. Incidentally, that's why I hope they get Oden, who next to Durant comes off as Duncan 2 on all types of conceptual levels.

Sadly, teams need point guards, and like the Hawks, the Celtics will never connect as people until they straighten out that situation. Say what you will about the Bobcats, but at least they've got Felton installed tightly. Telfair hasn't worked out, West is not a point guard, and that Rondo cat. . . well, he belongs on the Suns or on Mars. I like Pierce, despite the fact that he fits with the Celts' gutsy heritage. Jefferson is basically like a Deep South Chief. Gerald Green, he'll never stick, for obvious reasons. Delonte is almost too slick, but looks kind of white. Rondo is simply too next for the Celtics to comprehend.



Last night's line: 2 points, 6 assists, and 14 boards. How about 3/11's 12, 8 and 7? Or the 13 points, 10 assists, and 4 rebounds he etched in the minds of Hawks last week? If once FreeDarko stressed the importance of the signature stat line, Rondo is like a thousand angry voices in one. This isn't a Kidd-like all-around consistency; I don't think anyone's projecting him as a consistent triple-double threat. Rondo's box scores read like a decent all-around player who relies on demonic possession to excel at any particular one. It's tempting to call these outbursts situational, but the overall pattern is one of provocative randomness. When the unpredictability becomes a predictable feature, you throw up your arms and run toward the light.

Rajon Rondo, you have created a new FreeDarko stat, one that I lack the language to name. Silverbird will be asleep for the next fifteen hours I hear, but hopefully when he awakes, he will immediately turn his attentions to this urgent problem.

And Simmons, you're a genius for predicting Rondo's stardom last summer, a goofball for backing off of it when he's created a new life for us all.



Addendum: Silverbird had actually been up since 7AM, and just now has come up with a quantitative account of my scallopy intuition. Basically, the degree of variance within each category from night to night is absolutely unprecedented in the history of statistics. In fact, one might say that Rondo's primary output consists not of points, rebounds, or assists, but of the as-of-yet-unnamed units of standard deviation. You see a raw player on a shoddy team, I see the future of excrement.