God's Own Warning Track
If you've ever been to Oklahoma's capital, don't go. Arkansas is the truth, but this state is absolute blankened rot on earth. And this is coming from someone whose idea of a weekend jaunt is driving around the PAT. Clay Bennett is an enemy of players everywhere if he'd rather stick them in this city than Seattle, and the league should hope to god Durant isn't forced to go house shopping in these parts. Shit, the hotel we just switched out of had a four year-old out front with a broken arm, a pacifier attached to a silver cross, and a blonde mohawk. I yelled GUMMO and he insitnctively marched toward me.
Then again, I also just hit up some thrift that had racks upon rack of childhood sports shirts. Some of you may think you know me, but after today, you really don't.
I also had to go and hit the road during the fucking nuclear holocaust of NBA internet. So much has been said already, and I'm barely even close to catching up. Nate Jones, who knows enough about backroom dealings to make all the rest of us look like fools, had some deft speculation on Kobe's motives. I'm not really feeling Brooks's "P-JAX IS THE MOLE" theory, though it's a pretty soaring compliment to pay Phil. Actually, I'm glad I missed most of today, since now it's wound down and I can claim a little more permanence for whatever gets said now.
Here's what I'm taking away for it: supposedly, everyone NBA star has a price. I know, when they demand a trade there's no chance their teams will get full value. But the Iverson deal wasn't terrible. Odom and Caron for old Shaq was respectable. Even Marion and stuff for Garnett would not put anyone's honor out of business. In theory, the T-Mac swap was sound. For Kobe? Just try and come up with an offer that doesn't make the gallery chortle. Dirk straight up is a joke. Everything run through here involving Pierce, or Deng&Thabo&Hinrich, doesn't just sound unfair--they come off as purest fleece.
It's kind of like the "untradeables" in fantasy leagues. Regarding today's league, it would be Kobe, Bron, healthy Wade, and Duncan. Want a sense of how tremendous these four are? Just try and imagine any franchise living down having dealt them. I promise you, you can't.