5.31.2007

(Insert Andrew Hill Song Title Here)



I am still in OKC. Driving around here and thinking about Durant's sweet, sweet game is the ultimate in cognitive dissonance. Either this town would destroy him, or he would stride through its rickety skyline like a giant Godzilla gazelle, renting its buildings with his every lithe movement. You can't grow a flower in gravel, or concrete, or whatever, and Day After Tomorrow taught us that the a beautiful mind can overcome all. SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE!!!!

I'm sick of hearing Kobe trade scenarios. And not to be a dick, but Can Ox came out seven years ago. El-P fell off before Funcrusher Plus. Did I mention that, earlier, the AOL blogging platform ate my Longform draft, which I started on Sunday and has now undergone extreme Kobe and LeBron-related rewrites!?!!??!

Anyway, please do read Longform Shoals on Kobe's present, LeBron's future. Such bitter fruits my loins rarely doth produceth. Also please tell me if "Lonform Shoals" has become my inadvertent alter ego.

40 Comments:

At 5/31/2007 2:08 PM, Anonymous tarheels28 said...

"And not to be a dick, but Can Ox came out seven years ago. El-P fell off before Funcrusher Plus"

I've agreed with almost everything ever written on this site, until this. Fantastic Damage was inconsistent, but it still had moments of brilliance like "Deep Space 9MM", I'll Sleep When You're Dead is, IMO, incredible, and his work for artists like Cage on Hell's Winter has been top notch. I realize this has nothing to do with basketball, but geez...

Sorry for your blogging troubles though, this is still the best site.

 
At 5/31/2007 2:45 PM, Blogger PANGER said...

1) Dance With Death.

2) Yes.

 
At 5/31/2007 3:04 PM, Anonymous Sean said...

But Shoals, does it really matter whether "Cold Vein" came out six years ago? I mean, "Blood on the Tracks" came out thirty years ago and people are still discussing it today. If a movie, book, or album are really good and leave an impression on someone, chances are people are still going to be talking about it years after its been released.

Note: I'm not saying that CanOx is as good as Dylan, just so you know.

 
At 5/31/2007 3:17 PM, Blogger Brown Recluse, Esq. said...

shoals is generally a hater and has weird taste in music. don't worry about it.

 
At 5/31/2007 3:30 PM, Blogger Mr. Six said...

But isn't that the brilliance (and tragedy for Cleveland, or "tragedy") of the contract extension that Bron signed? He'll be an unrestricted free agent in 2010, at which point he'll only be 25. Even if the Cavs can't get him the proper support, he'll still have a lot of productive years left, several years of playoff experience, and the freedom to go where ever he pleases. (And good buddy Mr. Secretly Boring himself will be an unrestricted free agent that same year.)

One of Biz LeBron's best moves as far as I'm concerned.

(I also note that, assuming Isiah can restrain himself, the Knicks' total team salary is just $28M for the 2010-11 season. The Nets', $15M--hello, Shawn Carter.)

 
At 5/31/2007 4:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

why is darko repentant?

 
At 5/31/2007 4:15 PM, Blogger Ben Q. Rock said...

Billy Donovan signs with the Magic, and my Darko is enraged. I guess that means he's leaving, then.

 
At 5/31/2007 4:24 PM, Anonymous tarheels28 said...

About LeBron, I can't think about him without thinking about the stupidity of Mike Brown. I know this is hardly a novel thought recently, but putting one of the most imaginative offensive players we've ever seen in a stultifyingly boring offense is a crime against nature.

Maybe if Kobe's trade request is really a ploy to force Kupchak's removal, then LeBron needs to find a way to get rid of Brown.

 
At 5/31/2007 4:29 PM, Anonymous Sean said...

Is Billy Donovan stupid or something? He has the perfect set-up at Florida (the university, that is), and he's going to throw it away so he can coach for a couple of years in the pros (because I can guarantee he will quit before his contract runs out)? He should seriously rethink what he's doing.

 
At 5/31/2007 4:45 PM, Anonymous DannyNoonan said...

This is almost ludicrous to wax intellectual on. But …
What if the Cavs actually win the title?
Clearly it’s not a stretch to see them knocking off the Pistons after the way the first four games have played out.
And oddly, the Cavs match up well with the Spurs. The Lebrons are 2-0 this year; 1-1 the year before. They have the bodies to throw at Duncan. And Parker. Hughes – if healthy – is the athletic equivalent to Manu. And Bowen is oddly ineffective because of LBJ’s size.
With a nucleus of 21-year old Gibson, LBJ (22), Pavs (23), Varejao (24) and Gooden (25) you might not want to sleep on a budding power.

 
At 5/31/2007 4:52 PM, Blogger Brown Recluse, Esq. said...

donovan may be stupid, but he's also arrogant. he has a chance to succeed where his mentor (pitino) failed. a slim chance, i'd say, as i agree with sean that he won't even last until the end of his contract.

florida is the perfect situation, since they have the resources to make him one of the highest (if not THE highest) paid coaches in college hoops, a great campus to sell to 18-year olds, yet without the pressure that comes with the head job at kentucky or north carolina.

 
At 5/31/2007 4:59 PM, Blogger MC Welk said...

Land of Nod

 
At 5/31/2007 5:06 PM, Blogger stopmikelupica said...

@Dannynoonan: That's the script right now, isn't it? The Cavs beat the boring Pistons, then beat the equally boring anti-hero Spurs. LeBron James gets officially crowned (like Wade two years ago), and the NBA offseason story (besides trades and stuff) is all about LeBron. LeBron wins with scrubs, how many championships could he win if he was on a good team. That kind of stuff.

Not that I believe in fixes or anything, but put it like this: If the Cavs win the series against the Pistons, I'm beating big on them to beat the Spurs.

 
At 5/31/2007 7:21 PM, Blogger salt_bagel said...

I like the young nucleus of LBJ, Pavlov, and Booby; but not so much Gooden and Varejao. Gooden seems to be a solid bench contributor but never the starting post guy on a championship team. And the neck patch, at its current length, is nauseating, especially when the sweat drips it out into those gross strands. Varejao does two things, and can't even get those right. I loved during the last game when the camera and the refs all simultaneously caught him doing the hook-the-arm-and-flop technique, then the announcers discussed how he can't get those calls now because his rep is so bad.

 
At 5/31/2007 7:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hear me out:

Darko Milicic wearing... a Mavs uniform.

This can work somehow right?

wv: mojjjvt - one too many mojitos

 
At 5/31/2007 8:09 PM, Anonymous Les Whinin said...

Bill Russell blogging at NBA.com writes:

If You Like Good Basketball, You Should Like the Spurs...

If you want to see a good team play, you watch the Spurs. People who complain otherwise are just trying to find something negative to talk about. How is it that a team is winning, but you don’t like the way they’re winning? To me that seems kind of dumb.
Neither the Lakers with Magic nor the Bulls with Michael looked the same. Anybody who doesn’t like watching Tim Duncan, Tony Parker or Ginobili play might want to seek help. They might need a therapist.

Tim Duncan Boring? Definitely Not...

The same goes for those people that say Tim Duncan is boring to watch. Just look at how many championships Tim Duncan has won. That should tell you something. If he wins four or five championships, to say that he is boring is like comparing Da Vinci and Picasso. They were both geniuses with two different styles.

I felt these statements needed to posted here. Get over it FDnation.

 
At 5/31/2007 8:22 PM, Blogger salt_bagel said...

I'd say it would be more like comparing DaVinci to Sherwin Williams in a house painting contest. Both would get the job done in an impressive way.

If you want to boil down Russell's words, he's saying that success is exciting by definition; that success, in and of itself, must be fun to watch. Can you honestly take that statement and believe it? Or are you taking an emotional response to this site and co-opting the words of an authority to A) give yourself a sharper stick with which to argue, and B)elevate yourself in your own eyes?

wv: hvyjrxiv: Heavy Junior Fourteen?

 
At 5/31/2007 8:25 PM, Blogger Ben Q. Rock said...

I don't care what Bill Russell thinks: the Spurs aren't exciting. There's nothing remarkable about Tim Duncan banking in fifteen-footers or Manu Ginobili trying to outdo gravity.

Four Finals appearances in six years (or whatever the statistic is) is impressive. The way they've accomplished that is far less so, and I don't enjoy watching them play. And maybe it wouldn't be that way if anyone on that team had a personality, but they don't.

 
At 5/31/2007 8:35 PM, Anonymous Unique Directories said...

Thank you very much for is giving such good interesting and educational information

 
At 5/31/2007 8:35 PM, Anonymous Sean said...

I just read an article on Real GM that Steve Kerr is going to become GM of the Suns. Thoughts?

 
At 5/31/2007 8:50 PM, Blogger Black and Blue said...

Donovan to Magic...YES! One of the biggest media days around the Magic since the Shaq draft.

Keep up the great work Bethlehem and check out my blog if you get a chance.

http://blackandbluemagic.blogspot.com/

 
At 5/31/2007 9:10 PM, Blogger Ben Q. Rock said...

If Kerr GMs the Suns, he certainly can't broadcast on TNT anymore. I'm surprised the league let him call games this season, considering he has a minority interest in the Suns.

 
At 5/31/2007 11:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder if overtime can give LBJ his 30pt triple double... Or maybe a 40pt one?

 
At 5/31/2007 11:20 PM, Blogger Ben Q. Rock said...

LeBron is actually trying. It's astonishing what he can do when he's not in Global Icon mode.

 
At 5/31/2007 11:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

THIS is interesting.

6.66 seconds remain.

 
At 5/31/2007 11:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy Shit, it's like everyone on the Cavs except for Lebron is trying to lose.

 
At 5/31/2007 11:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So how about that Mike Brown timeout with 30 seconds left? Anybody wanna chime in with a scathing opinion on that?

 
At 5/31/2007 11:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will he hit fitty?

 
At 5/31/2007 11:55 PM, Blogger Ben Q. Rock said...

The Eagle Has Landed.

 
At 5/31/2007 11:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW! 109-107 Cavs in 2OT.
NEXT GAME IN LAND OF CLEVE?!?
OH MY...

 
At 5/31/2007 11:58 PM, Anonymous ronald james davis said...

THE LAST 25 POINTS. SHIT.

 
At 5/31/2007 11:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The man did not grab a rebound or assist in OT. He just took over...

 
At 6/01/2007 12:00 AM, Anonymous Sean said...

LeBron is terrifying. That's all I have to say right now.

(Actually, I have more to say: so much for not being clutch, eh?)

 
At 6/01/2007 12:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm.
48pts in 50mins on 18-33fgs (55%) including 2-3 from deep and 10-14fts.
Not too shabby.

wv: zzkkue - the soudn I make when I read he had only 2 TOs.

 
At 6/01/2007 12:08 AM, Anonymous ronald james davis said...

as much as I love the fact that lebron ended it with a layup, no double team? really Flip? Chauncey instead of Tayshaun? really Flip? can there be anyone else at fault for this?

 
At 6/01/2007 12:13 AM, Anonymous Sean said...

I don't care what happens now; I'll remember this performance for a long, long, long time.

 
At 6/01/2007 12:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, LeBron.

 
At 6/01/2007 12:47 AM, Blogger Sergio said...

LeBron in the finals: isolation offenses are back!

 
At 6/01/2007 8:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The conventional wisdom is that the only thing your loins "doth produceth" is solitary remorse and an embarassing stain the next day. Remain seated until everybody else leaves the room - this will delay the inevitable moment when the ACTUAL athletes knock your books out of your arms between classes.

 
At 6/02/2007 5:45 AM, Blogger Sahlan said...

Cold Vein may have come out 6 or 7 yrs ago but has anything seriously come close to it? El-pee-pee has been on the decline into a self-obsessed purgartory that I for one do not want to visit since he went solo. It seems he only 'works' when he's not on a OCD tip. Remember Cold V' was done in the classic brown paper bag style... beats sent to the emcees, emcees rap over the beats and send 'em back for final mixing, tweaks and mastering. There wasn't too much time in El-producto's den.

So who's the El-p of the L?

And why can't Vast emulate his solo efforts with what he did on the first Dirty Mixtape ?

 

Post a Comment

<< Home