6.14.2007

Fact Has Two Eyes

I think I originally asked the Recluse to do this, but it was intrepid reader A.G. who came through:



New Longform is up. Please read it and everything else.

33 Comments:

At 6/14/2007 4:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh.

 
At 6/14/2007 5:21 PM, Blogger Trey said...

Shirt please.

 
At 6/14/2007 5:38 PM, Blogger Wild Yams said...

Why do I think of Mel Gibson's famous "what are you looking at, sweet tits?" comment when I see that?

 
At 6/14/2007 5:40 PM, Blogger MC Welk said...

cocktail onions?

 
At 6/14/2007 6:54 PM, Anonymous JDiesel said...

Golden State Warriors=Santino from PR

-Everyone wanted him to stay in the comp (except the competitors), but nobody thought he could win.

-He had a large beard.

 
At 6/14/2007 7:10 PM, Blogger Ben Q. Rock said...

I had the same reaction, Yams.

 
At 6/14/2007 8:28 PM, Anonymous man_listen said...

No love for Dick Bavetta?

 
At 6/14/2007 8:56 PM, Anonymous aug said...

I didn't catch the intros for game 3, but i love the star wars evil empire music for the Spurs' entrance. Makes them seem so evil and unstoppable. I love it.

 
At 6/14/2007 9:11 PM, Anonymous padraig said...

aug: couldn't agree more. if that was me I'd just get hella hyped up, like "yeah, we're a massive interstellar basketball empire that's going to crush the puny rebels". you just know Manu, even he was pretty awful in game 3, is one of those dudes who totally thrives on the hatred of crazy opposing fans (I'm sure he faced far worse in EuroLeague) and enjoys nothing more than crushing them with 3s from impossible angles.

also, the obvious TD=Darth Vader/Pop=Palpatine comparison is hilarious. I mean, for real, sit back for a moment and ponder Vader as a super laid-back, goateed cat from the islands. I envision him coolly blasting Luke Skywalker's x-wing to bits, then brandishing the same grimace/smile combo he busts out after certain blocked shots and hitting the inevitable 10 ft bank shot to destroy the Rebellion over the outstretched arms of Admiral Ackbar.

 
At 6/14/2007 10:16 PM, Blogger Ben Q. Rock said...

IT'S A TRAP!

 
At 6/14/2007 11:21 PM, Anonymous JakeTheSnake said...

Wouldn't that make him Boobies Gibson?

 
At 6/14/2007 11:39 PM, Blogger MC Welk said...

The Spurs are like a goddamn pack of hyenas: not sure that nun should have endorsed them.

 
At 6/14/2007 11:57 PM, Anonymous gelatimouse said...

Robert Horry has more rings than Michael Jordan. Tim Duncan once said that "Big Shot Bob" can play that way all the time (i.e. draining huge shots) but doesn't work any harder than necessary. Isn't Horry the anti-FD; whereas Lebron's flashes of brilliance are essential to his youtube-era ascendance, and as Shoals noted, esp. with a better team around him consistent 20-10-10 games make him just as dangerous as THE GAME against the Pistons, Horry squanders a lot of potential by not playing as hard as he could, only to delight and yet stifle in his moments of matriarchy. Fuck.

 
At 6/15/2007 12:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike Finley gets a ring. Yawn.

Bring on the next 2 offseasons.
Read: Tumultuous.

 
At 6/15/2007 12:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the love of christ free us from Tim Duncan and Shaq!!!!

 
At 6/15/2007 12:18 AM, Anonymous spider said...

What was Parker wearing around his waist at the end? Was that the French flag? Or some bauble borrowed from Longoria? I couldn't tell.

 
At 6/15/2007 12:24 AM, Anonymous Jaz said...

Is it a coincidence that any Finals the Spurs are involved in is dismal? I think not.

 
At 6/15/2007 1:08 AM, Blogger Andrew said...

I can't wait till the next finals. Hopefully Duncan has a software meltdown and can't continue his robot ways so I never ever have to deal with such a horrid series again... I recorded all games to watch when I got home from work, I didn't get past the second quarter with any of them, so boring they were....

 
At 6/15/2007 1:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

lebron's new kid's name is bryce maximus james. is that fd?

 
At 6/15/2007 2:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you guys are ready for mavericks-bulls. It's going to be terrible, but it will at least go 6

 
At 6/15/2007 3:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the spurs have been involved in 2 great series the last 2 post-seasons (vs dallas last year, vs the suns this year - whether you liked the result or not, it was a great series). so why is it that they're getting the blame from people for this series being boring?

i understand that FD has a particular ambivalence to them, and individually they may not be the most engaging people, but it seems to me that as a team they play to the style and level of their opponent.

 
At 6/15/2007 3:21 AM, Blogger Notorious D.I.G. said...

Just lookin for opinions here. This is how i would fix the Lakers. And yes, the boobies inspired me.

Trade Bynum for Artest. Radmonovic for Bonzi. Send the 19th pick for Duhon. Spend Luke Walton's money on Kapono or any real shooter.

So your starters look like this:
Duhon
Kobe
Artest
Odom
Kwame

and bench:
Bonzi
Kapono/shooter
Farmar
Turiaf
Cook
Mo Evans

Tell Timmy and them to come to LA and fuck with that.

 
At 6/15/2007 3:28 AM, Anonymous OstertagFamilyValues said...

"(...)they play to the style and level of their opponent."
Fuck that shit. Dynastys/Superstars make their own style. I realize that as a life long Jazz fan my perspective on Tim Duncan/Super Villain isn't all that objective, but I can't stand that he has another ring. I hated the Bulls in the nineties, but when they won it always seemed logical. Jordan was the best player in the world, and although the Bulls destroyed my dreams, they could capture my imagination because they pull off stupid shit like the flu game. The Spurs don't do that. They just win. I will forever be tormented by Malone and Stockton's inability to pull in a championship, and that Duncan has four.... FOUR! There is no justice.

I kills me that I'm putting Tony Parker on my fantasy roster next year... it fucking kills me.

 
At 6/15/2007 10:28 AM, Blogger MC Welk said...

Pounding the Rock has glossed Duncan as "the Iceberg" and I'm thinking, even the best Ice-T album can be reterritorialized. Word verification = ifieboi

 
At 6/15/2007 10:52 AM, Anonymous westney said...

OY, VEY IZ MIR!!!

If the smartest, most skilled, most clutch, most experienced, best coached, most cool and confident team wins another championship I will shoot my dog!

I cannot stand NBA basketball unless my lovable losers are recreating the game in a way that only I can see! I can't comprehend that they don't call it "The R***t Way" for nothing, and that teams that don't follow basic fundamental philosophies don't win shit!

I really have never seen anyone take a flop or argue a call except those fucking dirty lucky Spurs and their fan club (David Stern and all the referees!!! helloooo!!!)

I blame the Spurs for being SOOOOOOOOOO boring and killing the game I love and at the same time don't say a word about the teams in the Eastern conference finals, the WORST SERIES IN PLAYOFF HISTORY!

I choose to forget any other championship team's good fortune in the playoffs because I really really really wish that they would just put a fucking asterisk next to all 4 of the Spurs' titles because IHATETHEMIHATETHEMIHATETHEM and I'm not watching basketball ever again until the league somehow finds a way to make the shittiest teams win!

Or maybe they could just let Gerald Wallace and Gilbert Arenas have their own two-man team and call it "The Swags" and let them wreck the league for the next 25 years! They could play a team from the West consisting of just Kobe and Odom and their name could be "Kobe" and both of those teams will play for the championship every year! That would be AWESOME!!!

 
At 6/15/2007 11:31 AM, Anonymous Nicholas Chopper said...

Wow.

Try to guess which one is westney in this photo:

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB5101-775223.jpg

 
At 6/15/2007 11:51 AM, Blogger Mr. Six said...

The Spurs aren't interesting enough to be the Empire. I figure the Bulls were the closest one's going to get to that.

The Spurs are an aesthetic affront, robotically ruining a game of humanity.

 
At 6/15/2007 1:01 PM, Anonymous Rook said...

Brad Johnson did name his kid Maximus Johnson, which is much more fd than James kid.

 
At 6/15/2007 2:12 PM, Anonymous mouzon said...

"Or maybe they could just let Gerald Wallace and Gilbert Arenas have their own two-man team and call it "The Swags" and let them wreck the league for the next 25 years! They could play a team from the West consisting of just Kobe and Odom and their name could be "Kobe" and both of those teams will play for the championship every year! That would be AWESOME!!!"

Pretty funny characterization of a FreeDarko commenter.

 
At 6/15/2007 2:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

People realize that the cavs are probably the most boring team in the nba right? Lebron will have 2-3 highlights, but besides those, it's the slowest, most defensive, most boring team in the league. I'd rather watch a bobcats game 40 times before i sit through a cavs, nets or blazers game. At least the blazers will be interesting next season with oden and if aldridge doesn't die.

 
At 6/15/2007 3:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah I was surprised by the fact that at an NBA level team their strategy for major portions of the game was stand around and watch Lebron... Guys weren't even pretending to do stuff. There were sequences where guys would just hold the ball dribbling 3-5 feet behind the 3 point line just so that Lebron wouldn't get the ball with more than 10 seconds left on the clock. Everyone says they borrowed a lot from the Spurs but i've never seen a Duncan Spurs team play like that.

 
At 6/15/2007 7:31 PM, Anonymous matt said...

i can't help but feel that if he were on a different team, tim duncan would be my favorite player.

some of my favorite basketball things to watch are young players on terrible teams, slowly develop and slowly become that team's identity, but duncan never was on a terrible team.

I also love it when a player who has played only for one coach goes somewhere else and either breaks out in a new system or just is a different player. we'll never have that with duncan. he'll always be a popovich player foremost, to me, i guess.

 
At 6/17/2007 6:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't get behind the Duncan haters who think that Lebron is an exciting player to watch. Their games are both pretty plain, but one guy has $200 mill worth of advertising behind him trying to make people forget about that.

 

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