6.15.2007

No More Finals, What Is Draft. . .


Here's Baron Davis going off the domepiece in a mansion of kicks. Keep the faith and watch out who gets their hands on this.

74 Comments:

At 6/15/2007 12:11 PM, Blogger Alistair said...

10 million dollar nigga
I love it. Now all we need is footage of LeBron in the locker room (and I'm assuming Tittie Gibson gets in on the session too)....maybe they just battle Larry Hughes all day long

 
At 6/15/2007 12:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shockingly good, especially for an NBA player. When does the mixtape come out?

 
At 6/15/2007 1:44 PM, Anonymous MaxwellDemon said...

Yeah, but you should see Le Petit Parker fuck shit up on the Edith Piaf tip.

 
At 6/15/2007 2:58 PM, Blogger MC Welk said...

sounds like B-did listen to the Geto Boys circa 1990

 
At 6/15/2007 3:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Davis is kinda nice for a baller... I don't know why, but it makes me respect his game more.

 
At 6/15/2007 4:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, were you guys watching the same video as me?

That was LAME.

On the court, Baron plays the point in a style no other player in the league can emulate. He's vicious, and just waiting for any opening to dominate.

This... was the EXACT opposite of that. It was so tame, the flow was barely there. Unimposing and bland.

He thinks he's showing off when he's humiliating himself! Lil Wayne would shit in his mouth for those moldy rhymes. I understand you gotta start somewhere but sheesh, keep the video off the intartubes.

/hater

 
At 6/15/2007 5:27 PM, Blogger stopmikelupica said...

Yeah, hater anon above is right - this is not good, unless you are comparing it to the low-standards of "ballers rapping". And even by that standard Baron has less talent than Shaq... Shaq is fly as eliquie, after all. Shaq should come through, and then bomb Baron's whole vicinity. He peeped his card, and Baron is not as hard as he pretends to be.

Seriously, the flow is weak, as is the delivery. The breathing is off. Baron uses too many unimaginative rap cliches - "ten fingers, only need one to pull the trigger", "sucking, fucking, bust a nut...", "bullets blazing", rhyming "Diddy" with "city" (even Puff doesn't do that anymore, it's so played out).

"Flip flip like Dominque Dawes" gets some props, though. I would like to see Davis try more of the comic rhymes, and not the cliche gangsta rhymes.

 
At 6/15/2007 6:26 PM, Blogger Andrew said...

One thing to keep in mind when evaluating the dopeness of this performance: It is a freestyle. Freestyle rapping is a totally different beast then penning some lines and walking into a booth. Yeah, his breathing is off ... he's not exactly sure what he's going to say four bars from now. He's obviously not a top-level freestyler but I'm impressed that a top-level NBA point guard put in the time to get even THAT good at freestyling. He does need to work on breathing, stage presence, volume, cadence, etc. etc., but hey, better than I can do in the shower (full disclosure: I'm a white kid from Indiana).

Of course, I am assuming it's a freestyle and not a rehearsed, memorized block of rhymes. Though to be fair, in any freestyle performance, there are going to be canned couplets/quatrains/etc. that a rapper uses to get his thoughts together (see: "ten fingers, only need one to pull the trigger").

 
At 6/15/2007 6:40 PM, Blogger Matt said...

He's got some quick thinking, and though his flow is out of date by probably a decade, it's still better than I can do.

So what if he's not a polymath? And so what if it doesn't compare to his unique PG game?

Every time I see youtubes of Baron doing things outside of basketball (see the burger king drive through) I wind up liking him more.

 
At 6/15/2007 7:01 PM, Anonymous spider said...

Huh. Davis couldn't even keep the beat properly. He had the same chilled-out demeanor as he displayed in the halftime interviews on TNT. Which would be cool if his flow and rhymes were tight, but he was rather amateurish...

 
At 6/15/2007 7:08 PM, Anonymous eauhellzgnaw said...

The 1st half was written; the 2nd half was off the head. He's not bad at all.

Lil Wayne? Huh? I thought only clueless hipsters and high schoolers were fascinated with him.

 
At 6/15/2007 7:57 PM, Anonymous RedAuerbachsForeskin said...

just as long as none of you idiots call this shit "music"...

 
At 6/15/2007 11:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you don't think rap is music you should probably look elsewhere for your basketball journalism.

 
At 6/15/2007 11:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

eauhellzgnaw:

This is for you. Lil Wayne shredding Jay-Z's work.

If you're familiar with Jay beer-shilling version, then MAYBE this will open your eyes.

http://www.youtube.com/p.swf?video_id=Uh5b0Yw_-kQ&eurl=http%3A//www.google.com/search%3Fq%3Dlil%2Bwayne%2Bfreestyle%26ie%3Dutf-8%26oe%3Dutf-8%26aq%3Dt%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aof&iurl=http%3A//img.youtube.com/vi/Uh5b0Yw_-kQ/2.jpg&t=OEgsToPDskLa-Az4DTsBmg6bD49fJR8M

 
At 6/15/2007 11:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was going to link to a video of Quasimoto, but he threatened to stab a nigga in the chest, with a pitchfork, from behind.

 
At 6/16/2007 12:19 AM, Anonymous eauhellzgnaw said...

Been seen it, Anonymous. Not very impressed. I'm not entirely sure why I'm supposed to be impressed that Wayne did a slightly better job than a middling, over the hill Jay Z on corporate autopilot.

Call me when Wayne makes something that's even 1/100th as good as a typical verse from Ghost or 3 stacks (when he's rapping), to name a couple.

Somebody's been drinking the Pitchfork koolaid. I hear it tastes like white privilege.

 
At 6/16/2007 3:43 AM, Blogger patrick said...

pitchfork makes me want to vomit

 
At 6/16/2007 11:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's all listen to somebody living in 1992! 36 chambers ya'll! Wheee! I love a rapper who hasn't seen street cred in 15 years!

And talk about white privilege!

 
At 6/16/2007 11:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh, hopefully Ghost will write ANOTHER track about getting ripped off. Was it drugs, rhymes, women, or just money this time? Seems like all the guy does is have his shit stolen.

 
At 6/16/2007 12:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

eSPNDOTCOM is reporting that Kobe reiterated his demand to be traded. Wow, if thats true...

"The Lakers confirmed the meeting took place but would not go into details. Bryant had been vacationing in Spain, while Buss has been in China for the past two weeks.

"Our position is that it's a private meeting between the two of them and it shall remain private between the two of them," Lakers public relations director John Black said.

Bryant's agent, Rob Pelinka, didn't return messages seeking comment, both newspapers reported. But on Friday, he told ESPN.com''s Chad Ford, "Kobe's position remains unchanged ... Kobe would like to be moved."

 
At 6/16/2007 12:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eauhellzgnaw:

Define white privilege. I'm mixed race (none of it white) AND I enjoy reading pitchfork media.

AND I think Ghost is washed up, so much so, that I think Swift & Changeable will be a critical failure. The best production on his past 2 albums was done by his guests. Even though he'll be working with DOOM, the writing isn't smacking of smart bravado anymore. More like incensed egotism. Anon 11:48 is right. Have you heard the first single, Angeles? It is weak, Charlie's Angels inspired trash.

Also: Kobe will NOT be traded this offseason.

 
At 6/16/2007 3:35 PM, Anonymous RedAuerbachsForeskin said...

"If you don't think rap is music you should probably look elsewhere for your basketball journalism."

Thanks for making my point for me. If you think FD is "basketball journalism", then I'm sure that you DO think Baron Davis rapping is music. Of course, technically it IS music, but you degrade the word every time you rise in defense of that kind of crap.

 
At 6/16/2007 4:45 PM, Anonymous fuxyeahninja said...

Anonymous,

Don’t worry about these fucking dinosaurs with their ridiculous fascination with “skill.” Evolution will take care of them. Let me hip you to a new rapper named Li’ Skeezy out of Alabama (I know it’s still a little too close to NY for my tastes, but it is still in the South). His new album Backa Da Buz is totally fucking hood. Katrina didn’t hit his area, but apparently, it’s a fucked up place to live and there’s still a shitload of racism and poverty there.

The title song refers to the local trend of stealing the abundant Special Ed buses and riding on the back of them until they crash. Check the brilliance of Skeezy’s parsimonious political commentary about the racist police efforts to crack down on this trend:

“they used to lock us up for not ridin on the back of the bus/ now they lock us up for ridin on the back of the bus.”

The social critique doesn’t stop with the title track. “Do da Soff Shu,” puts a political spin on the dance song craze. To underscore his savant-like virtuosity, Skeezy comes with some of the illest writerly lyrics on “Soff Shu.” If he weren’t illiterate, I’d swear that he had somehow been exposed to Barthes. Jeezy, and Weezy and some crooning rappers from a group named Bone turn up to complement Skeezy on the transcendent “Crack Crack Crack,” which may be the best song about crack since the lead track on Wayne’s 67th consecutive classic mixtape this year. I almost cried tears of euphoria when I heard the rumor that there are two remixes of “Crack Crack Crack” in the works: one with Dizzee and the other with Timberlake and Lily Allen!

Aside from the spacious 808s and majestic, warbling, underwater synths, and his throaty, Ghoulie snarl, the appeal of Skeezy’s music is that it’s so authentic. Skeezy has actually sold drugs and done time. He speaks for a generation of black kids born to trap. The only light in their bleak existence is riding the back of the short bus, dancing, and rapping about it. Skeezy is spearheading a resistance not only against racist rednecks, but also against the bourgeois black middle class, who are so out of touch with what the real black experience, they shit on these kids’ exciting new culture and cling to an outdated politics of respectability.

Right now I can’t say for certain that Backa Da Buz the greatest album in the history of rap; only time will tell if Skeezy’s debut will surpass efforts from M.I.A. and old school (2 years ago) Camron. I, for one, can’t wait until September.

 
At 6/16/2007 6:06 PM, Blogger stopmikelupica said...

Um, getting back to basketball... anyone else think Delfino to the Raptors is quietly brilliant?

 
At 6/16/2007 6:23 PM, Anonymous The Gong said...

I think Delfino to the raptors is loudly brilliant. My jaw almost dropped when I saw how low his stats are- he's a nice player!

 
At 6/16/2007 7:58 PM, Anonymous Cyanide said...

Detroit needs to stop giving up decent, cheap back-up swingmen for second rounders. Mo Evans was a good pick-up for the Lakers, and I think Delfino could be great in the Raptors system.

 
At 6/16/2007 8:10 PM, Anonymous aug said...

Delfino is great for the raptors because with ford, calderon, dixon, parker, and mo p, they're always severely lacking perimeter defense. Joey graham is a solid defender because of his athleticism, but delfino will work out great. The raptors are quietly building a great team. They're a athletic swingman scorer away from being the best in the east. I wonder if they'll make a move for gerald wallace.

ford
parker
wallace
bargnani
bosh

bench:
calderon, graham, dixon, delfino, rasho, mo p, garbajosa

that's a really solid team. I love watching the raptors. They were one of my 5 favorite teams to watch this past season.

 
At 6/16/2007 8:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

aug: fuck yeah I'd watch that team on sundays if abc had any balls.

 
At 6/16/2007 10:20 PM, Blogger Brian said...

RedAuerbachsForeskin -

Where'd you get your name from, the Deadspin poseurs reject bin?

P4K does have somewhat interesting racial politics, mainly as a result from what kind of music gets on their radar as noteworthy. In a strange flip of responsibilities, P4K writers tend to bump up or deflate an album's score based on how conducive that album is for providing an interesting narrative hook to their review. Some kinds of music tend to get downplayed by that impulse the site has to have great music comport to their ability to make the story of the album a compelling one. One is albums that don't really innovate or change a band's style, but are really fucking good. "Classic" is a bad word. The other are artists who don't fit the "ragtag group of idealist youth go from garages to inspired basement recordings" narrative that they are most practiced in writing for. Still a lot of good stuff on the site though.

 
At 6/17/2007 12:51 AM, Anonymous aaron said...

he's quick to bust a nut? baron's freestyle sucked. how did all these comments turn to talk about delfino and the raptors? what the fuck

 
At 6/17/2007 3:50 AM, Anonymous A Double said...

Can't think of too many websites where people post bizarre, yet fairly on-point parodies of Pitchfork music reviews in the comments section. Well played fuxyeahninja.

So, uh, Kobe to the Bulls?

 
At 6/17/2007 9:31 AM, Anonymous RedAuerbachsForeskin said...

Hey Brian,

I used to be a quasi-intellectual jerkoff like you, so I feel you, bro. Know what'm sayin'?

For some of us, music is primarily an aural experience, not an intellectual one. Yeah, back in the day I used to pimp John Cage, Laurie Anderson and even William Fucking Burroughs (as "music" - and it is rewarding, on some level, to listen to the "music" of Burroughs - sort of like it's rewarding to listen to Shatner "sing" "Mr. Tambourine Man"). And you have the equivalents for your particular generation or social group or clique of TAs.

But after a while, it's gets tiring to run everything through a filter of intellect. Either you like some kinds of music or you don't. I happen to like some rap, though most of it is garbage. I could honestly give a fuck about the social implications. So don't defend Baron Davis' rap as music and expect to sway me with your carefully footnoted supporting evidence? Hey, if it speaks to you, great. Give me a beautiful voice and a great melody any day. Right now, I'm listening to
Neko Case. Tell me why the words "Baron Davis" should even be included in the same sentence (in a musical context, of course).

Now go back up to the counter and buy a cookie before they throw your vanilla ass out of Panera or Starbucks or wherever the fuck your kind congregates.

 
At 6/17/2007 11:59 AM, Blogger Reno said...

You're a retard.
Has been was probably the best album of 2006.
Enjoy your deep red bells...
And have fun being an antiquated indie fag!

 
At 6/17/2007 12:04 PM, Blogger Reno said...

Live life
Live life like you're gonna die
Becasue you're gonna
I hate to be the bearer of bad news
But you're gonna die

Maybe not today or even next year
But before you know it you'll be saying
"Is this all there was?
What was all the fuss?
Why did I bother?"

Now, maybe you won't suffer maybe it's quick
But you'll have time to think
Why did I waste it?
Why didn't I taste it?
You'll have time
Because you're gonna die.

Yes it's gonna happen because it's happened to a lot of people I know
My mother, my father, my loves
The president, the kings and the pope
They all had hope

And they muttered just before they went
Maybe, I won't let go
Live life like you're gonna die
Because you are

Maybe you won't suffer maybe it's quick
But you'll have time to think
Why did I waste it?
Why didn't I taste it?
You'll have time
'Cause you're gonna die

I tell you who else left us
Passed on down to heaven no longer with us
Johnny Cash, JFK, that guy in the Stones
Lou Gehrig, Einstein, and Joey Ramone
Have I convinced you?
Do you read my lips?
This may come as news but it's time
You're gonna die
You're gonna die

By the time you hear this I may well be dead
And you my friend might be next
'Cause we're all gonna die

Yeah, oh maybe you won't suffer and maybe it's quick
But you'll have time to think
Why did I waste it?
Why didn't I taste it?
You'll have time
You'll have time cause you're gonna die
Yes, you're gonna die
You're gonna die, I tell you
You're gonna die
You are gonna die

'Cause maybe you won't suffer maybe it's quick
But you have time to think
Why did I waste it?
Why didn't I taste it?
You'll have time 'cause you're gonna die

Live Life
Life life like you're gonna die
Because you're going to
Oh yes
I hate to be the beater of bad news
But you're gonna die

Maybe not today or even next year
But before you know it you'll be saying
"Is this all there was?
What was all the fuss?
Why did I bother?
Why did I waste it?
Why didn't I taste it?"
You'll have time, baby
You'll have time
'Cause you're gonna die
You are gonna die
Oh yeah

 
At 6/17/2007 12:17 PM, Anonymous RedAuerbachsForeskin said...

Tru dat...music and lyrics by William Shatner, of course.

Has been
Has been
You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
You callin' me, has been?
What'd you say your name is?
Jack
Never done jack
Glad to meet ya
Who's your friend?
Dick
Don't say dick
Whaddya know?
And you friend, what's your handle?
Don
Two thumbs Don

Riding on their armchairs
They dream of wealth and fame
Fear is their companion
Nintendo is their game
Never done jack and two thumbs Don
And sidekick don't say dick
We'll laugh at others failures
Though they have not done shit

I've heard of you
The ready-made connecting with the ever-ready
Yeah
The never was talking about still trying
I got it
Forever bitter gossiping about never say die
May I inquire what you've been doing mister?
Jack
Never done Jack
And you partner, what's the News of the World, Dick?
I don't say dick
Don, of all the people you must be the Tattler
Two thumbs up
What are you afraid of?
Failure?
So am I
Has been implies failure
Not so
Has been is history
Has been was
Has been might again

Okay, Reno, go wipe now.

 
At 6/17/2007 12:24 PM, Blogger Reno said...

BILL: My favorite shows on TV have twelve minutes of advertising. I can't get
behind that kind of time!
ROLLINS: Eat quickly. Drive faster. Make more money now! I can't get behind
that.
BILL: My kids say: He said to me, and I'm like... and he's like... and she's
like...
ROLLINS: It's all... He's all... She's all...
BILL: I can't get behind that kind of like, English!
BILL: That'll be six to eight weeks before delivery.
ROLLINS: The rising oceans, the warming temperatures!
BILL: The dying polar bears - no, tigers - in fifty years!
ROLLINS: Rising poison in the air and water!
BILL: I can't understand why the price of gas suddenly rises when oil goes up...
ROLLINS: ...but takes months to go down long after oil falls!
BILL: I can't get behind any of that!
BILL: I can't get behind the Gods, who are more vengeful, angry, and dangerous
if you don't believe in them!
ROLLINS: Why can't all these Gods just get along? I mean, they're omnipotent and
omnipresent, what's the problem?
BILL: What's the problem?
BILL: What about the men who say 'Do as I do. Believe in what I say, for your
own good, or I'll kill you!' I can't get behind that!
ROLLINS: I can't get behind that! Everybody knows everything about all of us!
BILL: That's too much knowledge!
BOTH: I can't get behind that!
BILL: Yeah! And what about student drivers using my streets to learn? If you
learn to play the drums you got to go to a studio! Go to a parking lot, for
God's sake! Why are you jeopardizing my life? I can't get behind a student
driver!
ROLLINS: I can't behind a driver who drives like a student driver! If you're
going to drive an urban assault vehicle then get off the phone and keep your
eyes on the road!
ROLLINS: Lifetime guarantee?
BILL: Who's lifetime? Not mine! I haven't that much time left. Let's make it
yours. Everybody's got a longer life than me!
BILL: The leaf blowers, is there anything more futile?
ROLLINS: Car alarms.
BILL: Clap off.
ROLLINS: Clap on.
BILL: Spam.
ROLLINS: Size matters.
BILL: No, it doesn't!
ROLLINS: Yes, it does!
BILL: No, it doesn't.
ROLLINS: Yes, it does!
BILL: No, it doesn't!
ROLLINS: Yes, it does!
BILL: No, it doesn't! No, it doesn't!
ROLLINS: Yes, it does! Yes, it does!
BILL: My phone rings!
ROLLINS: Make millions in minutes!
BILL: It's a computer!
ROLLINS: Lose inches in hours!
BILL: Leave me the Hell alone!
ROLLINS: Eat more! Spend less!
BILL: The Colonel is breakdancing! Give me a break!
ROLLINS: Credit terms raised!
BILL: I can't get behind any of that!
BILL: I can't get behind so-called singers that can't carry a tune, get paid for
talking, how easy is that? Well, maybe I could get behind that!
ROLLINS: Well, I can't! If you have to fix it with a computer: quantized, pitch
corrected, and overly inspected, then you can't do it, and I can't get behind
that!
BILL: I...can't...get behind...a fat ass!
















served.

 
At 6/17/2007 3:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am scared and intrigued by what FD is becoming. Now brings us content Shoals, for CLEARLY we need it!

PS - Neko Case, beloved by Pitchfork, overrated by NPR, held firm by not-quite-old wannabe critics.

 
At 6/17/2007 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that other dude mr.drastick he from london?

he got skillz too.

 
At 6/17/2007 6:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't love the Delfino pick up, but to get him for 2 second rounders is pretty good. Only thing people have to remember is that he's going into the last year of his deal and will probably be looking for a raise. He's a great player at his rookie salary. But would you really want to use much more to resign him?

 
At 6/17/2007 7:24 PM, Anonymous Scott said...

I'm not cool enough to profess to know where all that spitting was copped from

but

that said

it was gay

but maybe it all sounds good in real time

since rap is about flow and thus doesnt convert to text

but back to basketball--I LIKE delfino (and am a pistons fan) but that said he averaged 5 and 3 and even ronald dupree can do that given sufficient minutes

so thus I assume that they can replace his production in free agency

I hope so anyway

 
At 6/17/2007 8:49 PM, Blogger Alap said...

when did this comments section turn into the aol comments section

 
At 6/17/2007 9:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When the season ended and posting stopped...

 
At 6/17/2007 9:18 PM, Blogger Brian said...

RAF -

You made fun of me for saying a lot of things that I didn't say. I never said that intellectual approaches to digesting music were better than visceral ones (in fact, I suggested that Pitchfork unduly supports the former over the latter). I never said that Baron Davis was a great musician (has anyone?). I don't know what the hell Panera is, and I don't drink coffee, so I don't know what "kind" that makes me. There's no quasi about it - I'm definitely an intellectual. One of the benefits of which is to not rant about things that were never said or even remotely implied.

All I said was that Pitchfork's love of making their own reviews sound dramatic might be one reason that their music interests end up preferring certain racial perspectives, and that your name made it likely that you're probably an ass.

What I wouldn't concede is that rap cannot qualify as musically enjoyable under your "I like what sounds purdy" criteria, which is actually one I mainly use as well. I'm not a huge rap fan, but to categorically resign it to being purely intellectual harsh-sounding crap is absurd. But I never set out to try and futilely change your mind on that front, so I'm not about to take your angrily tossed bait.

 
At 6/17/2007 11:59 PM, Blogger T. said...

Is this where we talk about the draft?

Also, I met the future of Chinese basketball - a 13 year old kid named Luo Hanchen. Write this name down and come back to it in 7 years - and you'll see that I was right. The kid (a big point guard) can play.

Brian - panera is a chain of bakery/cafes. Sort of copying the Starbucks business model. Take something (local coffee cafe/local bakery) - and export it from urban centers to the suburbs. It's actually pretty good, if soul killing.

I would gladly punch someone in the neck for a Panera here in China, as much as I disdain them in the States.

 
At 6/18/2007 8:22 AM, Blogger emynd said...

If you don't think Wayne is one of the best rappers rapping right now, you know nothing about rap music.

-e

 
At 6/18/2007 9:13 AM, Anonymous JCN said...

lil wayne is such a conundrum to me....i loathe him, but can't stop listening to him.

his mixtape game is far superior to his album flows and maybe that is where i get mixed emotions from. i expect his album to reflect his mixes, but always come away feeling empty.

 
At 6/18/2007 11:14 AM, Anonymous Aaron said...

@ emynd:

Does being one of the best rappers rapping "right now" really mean anything? Honestly?

 
At 6/18/2007 1:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aaron, in the scope of a thousand years, no, but in a more relevant scope, yes.

And Shoals, we need something new to chew one, content!

 
At 6/18/2007 1:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lil wayne is THE BEST rapper right now. Hands down.

We need content!

Post, Shoals, post!

 
At 6/18/2007 1:23 PM, Anonymous Sean said...

RedAuerbachsForeskin and Reno: Who the fuck are you people? Christ, go back to the AOL message boards and have your intellectually stimulating debate there so we don't have to read it.

 
At 6/18/2007 1:28 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

longform coming soon, probably some sort of companion post with that. sit tight.

 
At 6/18/2007 2:02 PM, Anonymous Sucks2bYou said...

As a Spur fan who struggles to put into words the absurdity of the FD viewpoint, particularly towards my team, I could not be more appreciative of this gem from Westney.


---------At 10:52 AM, westney said...
OY, VEY IZ MIR!!!

If the smartest, most skilled, most clutch, most experienced, best coached, most cool and confident team wins another championship I will shoot my dog!

I cannot stand NBA basketball unless my lovable losers are recreating the game in a way that only I can see! I can't comprehend that they don't call it "The R***t Way" for nothing, and that teams that don't follow basic fundamental philosophies don't win shit!

I really have never seen anyone take a flop or argue a call except those fucking dirty lucky Spurs and their fan club (David Stern and all the referees!!! helloooo!!!)

I blame the Spurs for being SOOOOOOOOOO boring and killing the game I love and at the same time don't say a word about the teams in the Eastern conference finals, the WORST SERIES IN PLAYOFF HISTORY!

I choose to forget any other championship team's good fortune in the playoffs because I really really really wish that they would just put a fucking asterisk next to all 4 of the Spurs' titles because IHATETHEMIHATETHEMIHATETHEM and I'm not watching basketball ever again until the league somehow finds a way to make the shittiest teams win!

Or maybe they could just let Gerald Wallace and Gilbert Arenas have their own two-man team and call it "The Swags" and let them wreck the league for the next 25 years! They could play a team from the West consisting of just Kobe and Odom and their name could be "Kobe" and both of those teams will play for the championship every year! That would be AWESOME!!!-------------

Oh by the way... Spurs won it again bitches.

 
At 6/18/2007 2:11 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

dude, i really don't care who wins a championship if it's not a team i like. and while i would like teams and players i like to win championships, as long as they're not useless competitively i'm not losing any sleep over it.

the spurs win championships. we all know it. i picked them to win this year. the "fd viewpoint" is neither about pure showmanship, nor does it make an idol of ultimate victory. it's about the gray area between the two, which is where most of basketball--save for and1 and the spurs--exists.

and yeah dude, the only "rational" thing in sports is winning it all. but that's like saying the only point of sex is making babies, or eating is to get a well-balanced diet.

 
At 6/18/2007 2:23 PM, Blogger Stumbleweed said...

FD = Basketball Epicureans

 
At 6/18/2007 2:34 PM, Blogger salt_bagel said...

...Or that the only point in commenting on a blog is to move the discussion forward?

--Salt now fortified with more meta for the kids.

 
At 6/18/2007 4:12 PM, Blogger El Presidente said...

"...and yeah dude, the only "rational" thing in sports is winning it all. but that's like saying the only point of sex is making babies, or eating is to get a well-balanced diet."

Oh my god, what a pimp-smack. My mind has been sufficiently blown.

 
At 6/18/2007 4:22 PM, Anonymous padraig said...

T: If you're still around, have you heard the good news, namely that DeVon Hardin is coming back for another year at Cal (despite an article from the SF chronicle saying otherwise)? I'm hella excited by the prospect of a monstrous Hardin/Anderson frontcourt devouring people. Plus, of course, it's also the right decision given how raw the dude is.

 
At 6/18/2007 4:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think DeVon going back to school may be enough to guarantee Sean Williams to be a first rounder.

 
At 6/18/2007 5:16 PM, Blogger Chad said...

"Cause imma fool like that, I flip like Dominique Dawes"- Freddie Foxxx

"I'm a score, flip and roll like Dominique Dawes"- Capone N Noreaga

"But girls will flip like Dominique Dawes"- Cam'ron

"My jaws flip across sixteen bars like dominique dawes"- Coolio

"Nigga I'm Dominique Dawes Flippin bitch niggaz when the shotty's go off" Lil Wayne

So, that's pretty cool. Ripping off Coolio.

 
At 6/18/2007 5:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bruce Bowen: FATALITY!
http://bowenkombat.ytmnd.com/

Poor Wally.

 
At 6/18/2007 6:55 PM, Blogger Brickowski said...

I have to believe that Bowen has sat at home and watched that clip on loop a few times. It's really the sort of thing a man should be proud of. Look how high he gets and how he jumps off Wally's face and lands perfectly. I mean, it's almost like he intended to kick him in the face!

Yesterday Bruce was Master of Ceremonies at the Spurs title celebration. Keep in mind that these duties had been handled in years past by Steve Kerr and Brent Barry, guys who were/are locks for broadcasting or front office gigs when their playing careers were over. They were skilled on the mic and always kept things running smoothly. Bowen, on the other hand, WAS AWFUL. He was long winded, corny, occasionally insensitive towards those he was supposed to be praising (he introduced Beno Udrih by saying he was a guy who was in Popovich's doghouse for the whole season--poor Beno looked crushed!) and generally unfunny. To his credit he did refer to Jackie Butler as 'Rick Ross," but overall the performance was on par with Michael Scott at the Dundy's.

 
At 6/18/2007 6:55 PM, Anonymous youshoottoomuch said...

@chad:

i'm pretty sure there are a few more besides the ones you've pointed out. when he said that i was like, "damn somebody's been listening to some mid-nineties ish!"

i remember driving around chicago listening to the radio in the summer of '01 while a radio station ran a "freestyle battle" between shaq and ai. shaq's was obviously memorized and was amusing solely for the big man's vocal tone. ai's was pure off the dome nonsensicalness that exuded hunger. much like their respective games. or something.

on another note: i'm thinking that redauerbach'sforeskin is that dude from perkisabeast that got all pissy with shoals awhile back.

 
At 6/18/2007 7:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Youshoottoomuch - methinks your last point may be true.

wv: dvdhxr - Digital Video Disc H4X0R

 
At 6/18/2007 8:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That bowen clip is crazy... Keep your head up Wally.

 
At 6/19/2007 1:24 AM, Blogger T. said...

but overall the performance was on par with Michael Scott at the Dundy's.



I feel God in this Chili's tonight.

 
At 6/19/2007 2:42 AM, Blogger T. said...

padraig: Didn't see the news (in the off-season I tend not to check out the SF Comical so much) - but it's good news. Now with Wilkes (did one leave?) Harden and Anderson, that's a good front line. Alas, Cal isn't going to be a top-end Cal team until we get another Leon Powe. But I'll hope for 4th place and a Sweet Sixteen appearance.

 
At 6/19/2007 4:34 AM, Anonymous padraig said...

T: Yeah, Little Wilkes (the elder) graduated and decided not to come back for his last year of eligibility. I'm expecting Jordan Wilkes, who got a medical redshirt for last season, to be the first big off the bench, as him, Anderson and Hardin all in at the same time is an unwieldy line-up although they'd kill other teams on the boards. Ryan will be the starting PF, with DeVon at C and sliding down to the 4 when he's on the court at the same time as Wilkes, and Theo Robertson at the 3. The front line should be fantastic; the matchups with the Lopez twins will be hella fun to watch (Ryan played them to a standstill last year all by himself). 3rd-5th in the Pac 10 sounds about right, behind USC, UCLA and maybe WSU and/or Stanford and a trip to the Sweet 16 would be great. Everything kinda depends on how effectively Jerome Randle and the Serbian kid can replace Ayinde.

Also, I don't know if you're into women's ball at all, but they have their own twin towers in Devanei Hampton and Ashley Walker and they should be pretty good next year too. A Sweet 16 and possibly even Elite 8 appearance wouldn't surprise me. Devanei is probably my favorite non-Candace Parker/Sylvia Fowles womens' player right now; she's got the whole half white/half black hair that Rogue had, plus she went to Oakland Tech.

 
At 6/19/2007 5:39 AM, Blogger Ty Keenan said...

Cal is going to be very, very fun to watch next year. Best conference in the country by far next year, though, so they could improve a ton and still only get 18 wins.

It'll be interesting to see what Braun does with the offense. The motion they ran this year was an interesting change after Hardin went down and really played to Randle's strengths, but I expect Ben will reinstall the more structured offense and the shot clock violations after timeouts will resurface in full force.

 
At 6/19/2007 7:10 AM, Anonymous padraig said...

ty keenan: In a nutshell, my reasoning for picking Cal to finish in the 3rd-5th range next year;
-Tajuan Porter can SHOOT but he's no Aaron Brooks
-ASU will be better but what do they have besides Pendergraph?
-who does Lute Olson have coming in to replace Shakur, Williams and Radenovic? plus that team is soft, though Josh whathisname might help out with that.
-OSU will be mediocre again
-I know Hawes was sick, but if the Huskies couldn't even make the NCAA with half a season from him I don't see how they're going to be that much better
-all props to WSU for their great season, but that team really overachieved, unless Kyle Weaver steps his game up quite a bit

UCLA will be the top dog again with Love, Collison and Shipp plus the Cameroon duo; OJ Mayo will either elevate USC to greatness or sow strife and discontent. I expect the Bears to wind up battling Stanford (with some of the best Pac 10 big man matchup ever) and WSU to emerge from that 2nd tier of teams. At the very least Hardin returning virtually ensures a trip to the NCAAs, though nothing beyond that.

Cosign on the Pac 10 being the best conference next year, though my very early and prohibitive pick to win it all is the Hoyas, even w/out Jeff Green.

 
At 6/19/2007 7:15 AM, Anonymous padraig said...

"with some of the best Pac 10 big man matchups ever"

sorry, perhaps a little hyperbolic. obviously no match for Kareem and then Walton at UCLA, although I think that was much more one-sided dominance then actual competition. either way, Anderson/Hardin vs. the Lopez twins sounds like an NBA scout's wet dream. 2 surefire lottery picks, and the other 2 solid 1st rounders (and I think Anderson could sneak into the late lottery in 2 yrs if he improves his physical tools).

 
At 6/19/2007 3:26 PM, Blogger Ty Keenan said...

I don't disagree with you about Cal being a potential 3-5 team, I just think that the conference is going to be so tough next year that they could get much better and not have it make much of a difference record-wise. I mean, ASU gave people fits at the end of the year and brings in James Harden, OSU will have Giles and Jones; there are barely any gimme wins. But they should definitely be an NCAA team and someone no one wants to play in the first round.

Agree with you on Oregon (Brooks did so much for them last year, who knew he'd ever become clutch). Think Wazzou will suffer a letdown but they'll still be a handful every game. I'm not that worried about Arizona, but they won't be bad. Not expecting much from Washington until they bring in some better guards. Stanford is top 15 with any quality point guard play. Mayo might take 40 shots a game, but that team has enough talent to be as good as they were last year (don't forget Davon Jefferson coming in). UCLA is UCLA.

Really excited for the Pac-10 next year. Props to grad school allowing me one last year going to all the games.

 
At 6/19/2007 11:47 PM, Blogger T. said...

padraig/ty - this is the best place on the interwebs for Cal hoops discussion since scout is all hate Braun/love Braun 24/7.

I think you're all severely underestimating the Lil' Romeo factor.

I love Jerome Randall - and Braun has had success with another really short scoring point guard. Boykins led the nation in scoring at Eastern Michigan.

I thnk the big problem with Cal is depth. Last year we were shockingly thin.

 
At 6/20/2007 12:27 AM, Anonymous padraig said...

T/ty: Well, at least depth at the 4/5 won't be lacking this year. The backcourt is still pretty darned thin...good look on Braun's previous success with Boykins. Randle could be really good but I'm not going to get my hopes up until I see it. My worry is that if he struggles there's really nothing behind him.

Isn't Lil'Romeo yet another 6 ft shooting guard? I am certainly hella excited about the prospect of watching Mayo jack up repeated 30 fters over doubleteams. Maybe we'll even be blessed with more not-so-subtle racism from Bill Simmons about why Mayo is bad for basketball.

I forgot that U of A has Bayless coming in. With him and Jordan Hill the Wildcats should be pretty good. On the other hand I can't believe how much big-time analysts are overrating Oregon after a stretch of hot shooting through the Pac 10 tournament and the opening NCAA rounds. The Ducks are still going to live and die by the jump shot, only without Aaron Brooks' clutch magic (seriously, he was only behind Law in that category last year).

In non-Pac 10 news I'm also psyched to see Stephen Curry, current king of the severely undersized shooting guards, destroying people, all 5'11" and 150 pounds of him. Oh, and more of Sidney Lowe's red blazer. And Derrick Rose.

 
At 6/21/2007 1:52 AM, Blogger Ty Keenan said...

I guess this thread is long dead, but I should tell you guys that I'm actually a Stanford guy. Not a Cal hater at all, though.

I could not be more excited for Derrick Rose. Calipari needs to turn everyone on that team loose and run teams into the ground.

Oregon is going to miss Brooks as much as U-Dub missed Roy this year.

 

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