Take Me Home
Spewing out thoughts on KG and Kobe. Apologies in advance if this is recapitulating anything that Shoals has already said...
Just to backlash the backlash, I'm not gonna go ape over the Kobe 24-second cameraphone joint. People are acting like it's the Onsmash.com viral version of an American hostage getting beheaded or Saddam getting hanged or some shit. During these baseball months, no end of ridiculous manufactured sports news stories pop up, all of which are designed for us to express faux shock and outrage. This is another classic case of ballers getting over-superhumanized...like, CAN YOU BLAME HIM? He couldn't have said it better himself. We're talking about Jason Kidd versus Andrew Bynum here. What this video proves is...at least Kobe isn't dumb enough as most NBA GMs. He actually understands that you have to get a top-3 -in-the-L player some FRIGGIN CHAMPIONSHIP CALIBER HELP to get back to the finals. Screw upside, and forget there ever being another Shaq in the league. J-Kidd is that dude who makes Mikki Moore look like Kareem...and could you imagine the Kidd-Odom-Kobe triumverate going up against Nash, Marion, and Stoudemire? The Lakers would be FASTER.
So, hooray. ESPN gets a week worth of Kobe trade talk. Then they couple it with my favorite topic of the past three years, that the Timberwolves are listening to offers for KG. As many know, the Wolves are my team, KG is my favorite player, but even *I* am beyond caring. If and when the Wolves make a move with KG involved, it's not gonna be under the bright lights and under the scrutiny of Ric Bucher. Kevin McHale and Glen Taylor may be incompetent, but the one thing they do care about is saving face. And trading KG for a bag of unwanted Celtics does NOT give them the opportunity to say, "We didn't know what we were getting into." At least some fantasy like KG for Amare gives them a chance to say, "Hey we tried," but there is no way I see Steve Kerr making any major potentially career-ruining changes in his first year as Suns GM.
And I hate to be all rational for a second, but let's get down to business and make the point that I'm sure countless others before me have made. Trading away a star player never makes you better, and most of the time it makes you worse.
76ers with Barkley
Blazers with Rasheed
NETS WITH K-MART
Lakers with Shaq
Pacers with Artest
Hornets with Baron Davis
76ers with Iverson
Even with the Raptors/Vince or Magic/McGrady, the teams did not get markedly better for a couple years, and it was only because they had stealth weapons (Bosh and Howard) waiting in the wings. THIS NEVER WORKS. Trading Kobe is suicide for the Lakers (Oh yeah, I'm sure Penny Marshall would just jump up out of her gauchos to EMBRACE Kirk Hinrich). Trading KG gets the T-Wolves nowhere closer to the playoffs, and much further from selling tickets. If the major media outlets needs to make up transactions that badly, at least come up with a few that are entertaining. Carmelo to the Knicks, please.
Switching gears to drop some Thurl-caliber jamz on you, this one was spotted by my good friend Kachel. Jazzy Jeff is seemingly mining the inner recesses of my brain's creativity center, to actually bring this idea to fruition before I got my hands on a pirated copy of Pro Tools (MY OTHER BRIGHT IDEA IS TO LOOP THE ALL THINGS CONSIDERED HORNS OVER THE "THINK" BREAK, hipsters). Jeff loops the AI "Practice" speech for this Nag Champa'd out cut with J-Live. The results are iiight, but in my ideal rap vision, I would have put Peedi Crakk over this or something. J-Live is more like the Allan Houston of hip-hop. Never A-Easy.