...And We Aren't Heading for a Church Social

10 Reasons Why This Fucking Rules/Is A Good Look:

1.) Between the Garden, Jersey and Philly, I, and thousands of others, could theoretically see KG play a dozen times this season. I'm not really caking like that; but you forget the coasts only beef twice a year. On a basic spectator-sport level, I think it's thoro that one of the supernovas of the league is gonna get more than just Snuffalufugus-level screen time on the East Coast. It's one more reason to pay a stupid amount of money to actually go to a game.

2.) Three of the best (using that word loosely) players of their generation (using that word elastically) on the same team, all in the twilight of the primes (leg-stability-depending) of their careers, all with a boner for respect and rings.

3.) They might very well underachieve. And there's a perfectly good chance that Uncle Injury might come and fuck up Thanksgiving dinner. If these dudes all catch something on the Usher tour then it's Day of the Locust time. Scalabrine and Anderson Hunt could be getting their names announced at the Fleet at some point. But that's not a reason not to fuck around and try. You try and plan for injuries then you might as well skip the stocks and put your money in a savings account.

4.) This isn't Glove/Mailman to the Lakers. It ain't Glove/'Zo/Cyber to the Heat. It ain't Barkley/Scottie/Glide with Houston. And it sure as shit isn't a repeat of Big Dog/Allen/Cassell with the Bucks. I'm not Elizabeth Kubler-Ross...



...but I'm getting a grown-ass man vibe from this trio. These guys know what they're holding. They're not angling for a Pixar cameo or a Bubble Yum flavor. It's gonna work or it isn't. But I highly doubt you're gonna hear any, "this isn't what I signed on for" shit.

5.) Gerald wasn't going to grow sitting behind Pierce and Allen. Jefferson wasn't going to get the ball enough to become a legit powerhouse on the block. Green might be T-Mac. He might be Alimoe with a guaranteed deal. Jefferson might be the shit or he might get his degree from the Zach Randolph School Of You Put Up Nice Fantasy Numbers Can You Really Say You Lost Junior College. The future can be seductive because it delays putting your name on the line. It allows you to lose 21 fucking games in a row and call it a learning experience. I would bet every Christmas present I ever got--including the Dagoba set with the X-Wing dunked in the swamp and Luke rocking the Jedi version of casual shirt Friday being all sad and shit because he wants to smash his sis, even that--that Jefferson wasn't going to turn into the Masshole version of Tim Duncan anytime soon. And barring that, I don't see any way you don't bring Kevin to the Departed.

6.) I can barely tell how many beers are in a six-pack, but even I know there isn't a defense in the league that can double team thee guys. You leave Ray alone at your own death sentence.

7.) Bosh, Howard, Eddy, Zach, Haslem, Ben, Rash, J.O., May, Marvin and all them other 4's just put on "Shook Ones Pt. II" and found new, chillingly pertinent layers to the song.

prepare to levitate...

8.) In lieu of having a Galactico, teams have started to identify themselves through style of play. Hard-nosed, up-tempo, abstract expressionist. I don't know what fucking style these dudes are gonna play; partly because I'm not so sure Doc knows what day it is, and partly because this team gloriously reeks of a pick-up squad. Three commandos shrugging off positional parameters, not really sweating the other two gimps who fill out the squad

Digression: how fucking amazing would it have been if Franchise had signed up with these yahoos!? Is Skip still unsigned? This team is BEGGING for a really uneven, streaky, emotionally unbalanced point guard. Just for the laugh track.

Pierce and Garnett don't have complementary games. That being said, both have been the senior counselors at some kind of Make a Wish Camp for men over 6 feet tall. Who knows what kind of game they have. Maybe Paul hates iso plays! Whatever: this is gonna be fun to watch. And one thing I do know...

9.) Pierce and Garnett are made for each other.





They don't just ball. They don't play to posterize kids. They compete. They have something you can't get at ABCD Camp or Tim Grgurich's seminars. Winning and losing determines how they feel about their lives. And however their various teammates feel about winning and losing determines how Pierce and Garnett feel about them. Remember this KG bon mot:

"If you're in street clothes, and you're not a coach, I don't really look at you."

The right way to play has nothing to do with footwork, bounce passes or defensive rotation. There's only one right way. You play like it matters.

10.) Fuck the Big Dig. Fuck Havlicek stealing the ball. Fuck Larry and his back, Red and his stogies. Fuck Russell and his rings. Fuck McHale and his elbows. Fuck basketball franchises as designs for life. Fuck parquet floors. This isn't about green and white, Gardens or history. It's about about three guys getting one more chance. It's about one guy getting the stage he's always deserved. It's about a region (I-95 from Boston to Baltimore) in desperate need for a basketball renaissance.

You can still hate the Celtics. Hate 'em for all the reasons you should. I'm from Philly. I know. But cheer for them because shit like this doesn't happen every day. It matters.