7.26.2007

Squashing Rituals



While Shoals contemplates his potential indifference and while others express faux moral outrage, I shall arrive late to the Donaghy party, and said--hopefully not restating something that Shoals or our commentors have already said--that I for one, coudn't be happier with this whole story (and no, it's not because this incident has delegitimized yet ANOTHER Spurs championship). I mean, I know lives are at stake here, so I don't mean to be so flip, but how cool is it that this thing is going down in real life? Even Simmons couldn't resist turning it into a screenplay. David Stern on some 9/11-Giuliani shit? The FBI? Some nutcase jeopardizing a global billion-dollar industry...and, the MOB? I didn't even know the mob still had power like that in this country. I side with those who say that Donaghy's influence on the outcome of most games/seasons was minimal, and am no great harborer of some idealized "integrity of the sport." So therefore, I'm just happy that the NBA is back where it should be, stealing headlines from baseball's steady grind and football's fetal kicks.

***

I was talking with friend of the blog and lifelong Bucks fan, G-Sparks, this past weekend, about the tumult of the Bucks offseason. The shrouding of Yi Jianlian behind the red curtain of communism, the Schilling-like mouth excretions of Andrew Bogut, and the bumping of Mo Williams into an obscene tax bracket. Whether for good or for ill, Sparks was just so damn excited that everybody is talking about the Bucks again, a team that by his account, has essentially been irrelevant ever since Glenn Robinson missed that fateful shot. And then it all became clear--the NBA are the Bucks of AMERICAN SPORT. MJ's retirement was Big Dog missing that jumper.


Now we're back in the center of the sports universe where we belong. It may be for all the wrong reasons, but damn it feels good. I already feel like being part of the people who prefer the NBA to other sports leagues is like being in an exclusive club. Almost similar to liking some musician that the general public doesn't give a fuck about. So when headlines are made, we band together, we know that any exposure, even negative exposure, gives us a sense of legitimacy in the world. In 2004, I had girlfriends who all of a sudden new who Ron Artest was. That justified my existence a little bit more than usual.

The only problem I have with the whole thing is the NBA acting like it is cycling when it is actually boxing. These are the two genres of sport. Cycling sports wag their fingers when scandal occurs, and the masses are supposed to collectively gasp when a wrongdoer is outed as if to say: "This could NEVER happen in our sport." In boxing sports, scandal is expected, and in some ways embraced, just as the cute puppy who knocks over an antique vase and then stares with longing eyes. We shake our heads, but then give a knowing smile. And that is where the Donaghy incident falls. The NBA is a ridiculous universe, and so a ref shaving points is just another love handle. David Stern "let me unfuck this thing up" speeches at this point are like Lou Piniella or Bill Parcells press conferences. They are like R.Kelly videos or Marlon Brando interviews. At the same time they are to be taken seriously, you just know some ill shit is going to happen, and it's all part of earth's neverending samba.



Lastly, I would like to bless you with some gems that our friend Catchdubs sent me a couple weeks back. First is the disgustingness that is Gerald Green's new shoe:


That is just disrespectful to the kvetching ghost of Red Auerbach. The Celtics were already scraping the bottom of the FreeDarko style rankings, and now this. This shoe might be the single-best argument against letting high schoolers into the NBA. I'd rather wear Marbury's and biker shorts. Killing me here.

Next up, a photo of Fat Joe standing next to a comically oversized Larry O'Brien trophy.

38 Comments:

At 7/26/2007 11:07 AM, Blogger stopmikelupica said...

If someone told me Gerald Green had a f*cking sneaker deal, my response would be "When are the Marcus Banks coming out?"

The only sneaker I can imagine that would ever top the Gerald Greens in pure ugliness would be the "Nike Air Balkman's Jumper".

 
At 7/26/2007 11:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Right on. That is exactly how I feel about the NBA and the "scandal".

Though I disagree on those shoes. They are SO ugly that they may be the coolest basketball shoes ever designed.

 
At 7/26/2007 12:12 PM, Blogger seezmeezy said...

the biggest surpirse in all this, as dlic said, is that the mob still has pull. and being that they turned a nba ref into a puppet, their pull must reach far less visible but far more important people.

as for the stern pressers, i sometimes wonder if he is so adept at handling controversial topics because he understands that the press understands that true hoops heads understand the inherent boxing-like nature of the league's competition. like, stern can just throw out some flowery semantics that resolve nothing but sound great, and it's swallowed with a smile because he is a more charming version of don king.

 
At 7/26/2007 12:15 PM, Blogger Pichi Campana Aguanta said...

Thank you DLIC, for putting into words my feelings on this whole debacle. It's been fun to actually have NBA conversations at work lately.

But I strangely like the shoes.

 
At 7/26/2007 12:53 PM, Anonymous JCN said...

the shoes are a trainwreck. you can't help but look at them. The more i see them, the more i think that they are totally FD.

 
At 7/26/2007 12:56 PM, Blogger goathair said...

New reports say it wasn't really the mob. Just some guys who knew the mob and were big talkers. Makes sense, because RICO laws own the mob.

 
At 7/26/2007 1:05 PM, Anonymous tom said...

I like the shoes. I wouldn't be caught dead putting them on my feet but as an art piece, it's like someone took a Robert Rauschenberg and wrapped it up in shoe form, complete with the retro fabulous "Pump" on the side.

 
At 7/26/2007 1:27 PM, Blogger J.E. said...

AHHHHHH!!!! THE GERALD GREEN NUB!!!!

 
At 7/26/2007 1:29 PM, Anonymous youshoottoomuch said...

my shoe game is weak, but is that the first time the pump has been on the side and not the tongue? i had the reebok black tops in middle school. those shits were most assuredly made for the outdoor game.

and for some reason it strikes as lame that the heat's white shirt crowd was enhanced by the re-covering of the seats in white.

 
At 7/26/2007 1:31 PM, Blogger Pichi Campana Aguanta said...

Not to derail the thread here, but a Google Image Search for "basketball sculpture" brings back some pure gold.

Who know Catholic High School in Singapore had so much love for the game?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Catholic_high_school_005.jpg

Also, Singapore hoops could be the spiritual yin to the Rez Ball yang. Can I get a witness from someone on the scene?

 
At 7/26/2007 1:34 PM, Anonymous SK said...

Close up those shoes look ill but from a distance the various individually ugly colors, designs and textures blend into a reasonably harmonious whole, kind of like the Pistons.

 
At 7/26/2007 2:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

those shoes are utterly enthralling.

 
At 7/26/2007 3:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darkofan: The shoe puts things back in perspective.

The "Ugly as Balkman's Jumper Shoe " comment is funny.

Balkman ( and Nate Robinson) got lots of work in the summer league and he actually had some dominant momments as the Knicks still desperately try to validate their draft pick as a front line NBA player.

You still could not discern a regular postion that either of them can play , despite improvement shown, other than the " strangely -talented -but what where the Knicks thinking " position that has been instituitonalized with the Knicks.

He did have a becoming modesty and likeablity in post game interviews that both Walt Frazier and the play by play announcer correctly noted.

 
At 7/26/2007 3:32 PM, Blogger MaxwellDemon said...

Those shoes make me want to puke--in a bad way--and partly resemble weed. I maintain that the perfect union of stupid and clever in a hoop shoe is the dearly departed Kobe II. If you've forgotten, picture the kicks Gort wore in Day the Earth Stood Still and you're pretty much there.

 
At 7/26/2007 3:50 PM, Anonymous padraig said...

Darkofan: I'm more or less genetically predisposed to despise the Knicks but I have to admit that the things with them are getting so nuts, in the fashion you described, that I might wind up liking this year's team quite a bit. Like, you'd think that Nellieball was the apex of anti-position basketball, but even that's become institutionalized to the point where everyone lauds the dude who ripped off his system and Nellie is actually ripping off the cat who ripped him off by importing reedy Italians. Plus, you have to have defined shooters and at least a competent and energetic PG.

The Knicks, on the other hand, defy comprehension. Two fat post scorers who can't play defense, the Starbury Movement backed up by a mouthy 5'9" dude, a competent white PF and two ultra-athletic wings who nobody had ever heard of, drafted back to back in pretty much the same spot. Oh, and all the random guys on the bench with crazy MLE deals. I don't think the Knicks are going to be much better than .500, but I think Isaiah's mad scientist wizardry may have reached a critical mass where it just blows peoples minds with its' completely out of nowhereness.

 
At 7/26/2007 3:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

might not be FD but those are the only basketball shoes I've felt in a long time. Kinda remind me of my old Kamakaze joints. I'm about to start looking for those shoes NOW...

 
At 7/26/2007 4:08 PM, Anonymous youshoottoomuch said...

@anon 3:03:

that play by play guy for the knicks summer league was the mighty gus johnson.

my favorite moment of msg summer league action was the malk rose ingame interview in which malik groaned "ah, man" everytime nate rob touched the ball and said "that's my man" everytime renaldo went wild and schooled somebody.

 
At 7/26/2007 4:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

@DLIC, re: the shoes -- I'm curious, is it the garish color combinations you dislike or the obvious nod to the Ice Cream movement?

In other words, is it the shoes or the statement?

 
At 7/26/2007 4:53 PM, Blogger Pichi Campana Aguanta said...

More Ice Cream, sans Pharrell, avec AK-47: Creepy paparazzi footage from St. Tropez.

http://x17online.com/celebrities/tres_sportif/small_forward_has_big_heart.php

Courtesy of the BasketballJohn

http://www.basketballjohn.com/2007/07/26/im-back-with-a-lot-of-ketchup/

 
At 7/26/2007 5:33 PM, Blogger salt_bagel said...

yoush: I caught that Malik Rose guest spot as well. I think it's one grinder celebrating another. I also think Malik digs the way Balk is redefining the grinder role.

Drexel is like country inside of the city, and that makes Malik Rose city inside of country inside of city. Or something like that.

 
At 7/26/2007 6:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"David Stern "let me unfuck this thing up" speeches at this point are like Lou Piniella or Bill Parcells press conferences. They are like R.Kelly videos or Marlon Brando interviews. At the same time they are to be taken seriously, you just know some ill shit is going to happen, and it's all part of earth's neverending samba."

I read that an said aloud, for the first time in my life, "OH SNAP!"

 
At 7/26/2007 6:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gerald Green must have thought he would be in Delonte's place. I didn't know the Celtics played in green, white, and yellow...

 
At 7/26/2007 8:38 PM, Anonymous Kaifa said...

Arenas posted again and had this to say:

"I ran up and down for the first time with the USA Under-21 Team. I don’t know what to call that team actually, they don’t look like they’re under 21. I’ll just call them the USA College Team.
They were down in D.C. at the Verizon Center so I played with them. I hit a couple buckets, you know, but that’s all I can say. I couldn’t jump and stuff them, I was looking like I was Chucky Atkins out there around the rim. The stroke was there, but I was looking like Chucky on the vert."

 
At 7/26/2007 8:58 PM, Anonymous Duff Soviet Union said...

I have to laugh at all the "THIS IS GOING TO KILL THE NBA!!!" shit. In the past 10 years alone the NBA has survived Sprewell choking his coach, a lockout, game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals, the Spurs going deep in to the playoffs every single fucking year, the USA failing to win gold, a neverending stream of thinly veiled racist "these thugs are ruining the NBA and society in general" drivel from the mainstream media, and Ron Artest punching paying customers in the face on national TV. We'll be here through this bullshit no problem.

 
At 7/26/2007 9:03 PM, Blogger goathair said...

Hyper-athletic Celtic in Pumps = Dee Brown

 
At 7/26/2007 9:32 PM, Blogger El Presidente said...

Nice summation DSU.

 
At 7/26/2007 9:48 PM, Blogger Nate said...

Shout out to Chucky Atkins...

 
At 7/26/2007 9:56 PM, Blogger growfauxfinns said...

MaxwellDemon, you're not alone. I bet the inside of those shoes have red hairs.

 
At 7/26/2007 10:00 PM, Blogger T. said...

1. I believe there's some RBK running shoes with the pump on the side. I'd never rock those, but I have some ugly kicks in my collection.

2. Following a comment on the last post, I'm not sure what Yao will do post-NBA, but his passions are (aside from WoW) - the Special Olympics and juvinile AIDS. He also does some stuff for the WWF. And he's been backed up by Mutumbo for 3 seasons now. I can totally see some sort of Kinshasha hospital project from Yao either while he's playing (like Deke) or post-playing days. He'll be some sort of global do-gooding ambassador (and I mean that in an entirely positive way)

PCA - I have no knowledge of the formal Singapore hoops scene, but I've ran on . . . well, what passes for the blacktop there. The ballers in Singapore are 97% Chinese (the Malays are football fans and the Indians are cricket fans). They had these giant fans - like you'd use to dry off the playing surface at Flushing Meadows - blowing the entire time over the court. It was a covered outdoor court, the ball was good, but not overly athletic or flashy. Just solid fundamental jumpshots, cuts, and lots of interior passing.

 
At 7/27/2007 12:42 AM, Anonymous JJ Redick's Jumper said...

get your vertical together Chucky...

 
At 7/27/2007 8:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

catchdubs=billups

 
At 7/27/2007 9:36 AM, Blogger goathair said...

Am I the only one who can't wait to start betting on the NBA ever since the Don-a-gee scandal went down?

 
At 7/27/2007 10:14 AM, Anonymous Jack said...

Random question: Who is Darkofan? Is there something I'm missing from the site's early days or something? People seem to address Darkofan in their posts, but there is no one here who posts under that name. What gives?

 
At 7/27/2007 2:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darkofan: Jack, Darko fan is strictly a commentator without a Blog account, who appreciates bothe the posts and most of the comments. (T-shirt order pending restock of Extra large)

Re: Comment above on the report from Arenas:

Finally saw the Utube tape of the Gilbert v. DeShawn 100 shot , three point shooting contest.

Earl the Pearl Wasshington of Syracuse U. fame was called "the Seal" by Darrell Dawkins when they where both on the Nets, because Mr. Washinton, who was at tims slightly over weight, had a proclivity for flopping around on the deck after ineffectual , low level , arms-flaying drives to the basket. ( One of the greatest examples of a good college game that just did not transition at all to the NBA).

However, Arenas does a great impression of a seal, when he is rolling around on the floor and barking after winning the contest towards the end of the ten minute tape.

 
At 7/27/2007 7:27 PM, Blogger salt_bagel said...

Pearl Washington's given name is Dwayne. He and the other Pearl are at far different levels of NYC lore.

 
At 4/13/2009 4:26 AM, Blogger 平平 said...

^^Thanks!!

婚前徵信婚姻感情大陸抓姦外遇抓姦法律諮詢家暴婚前徵信尋人感情挽回大陸抓姦離婚工商徵信婚前徵信外遇抓姦感情挽回尋人大陸抓姦離婚家暴工商徵信法律諮詢跟蹤工商徵信婚前徵信感情挽回外遇抓姦法律諮詢家暴尋人大陸抓姦離婚大陸抓姦外遇尋人家暴工商徵信法律諮詢家暴感情挽回大陸抓姦外遇婚前徵信離婚尋人工商徵信外遇抓姦法律諮詢家暴婚前徵信大陸抓姦尋人感情挽回外遇抓姦婚前徵信感情挽回尋人大陸抓姦工商徵信法律諮詢離婚家暴工商徵信外遇抓姦法律諮詢家暴婚前徵信尋人感情挽回大陸抓姦離婚婚前徵信工商徵信外遇抓姦尋人離婚家暴大陸抓姦感情挽回法律諮詢離婚感情挽回婚前徵信外遇抓姦家暴尋人工商徵信外遇抓姦法律諮詢家暴婚前徵信尋人感情挽回">徵大陸抓姦離婚婚前徵信工商徵信外遇抓姦尋人離婚家暴大陸抓姦感情挽回法律諮詢

 
At 6/15/2012 11:23 AM, Blogger mark blog said...

Thanks for your great post.I like this very much,Black PC Dell Inspiron i560-5383NBK Desktop (Piano Black),jerseys with numbers,Pocket Watches,camera and photo,The best notebook,Graphic cards,price of a netbook,headphone earbud,the best backpacks,laptop bag and cases,MP3 Downloads,Finding a Ring,collar shirts for men,Urgensi Filsafat Hukum,Calculator for graphing,Accounting software programs,Mouse cordless optical,Price for mp3 player,Glove Oven,smoothies blenders,Golf Bags,PC tablet prices,software for audio editing,commercial arbitration,short love poems and quote,car covercraft,healthy organic food,

 
At 6/15/2012 11:24 AM, Blogger mark blog said...

this post is goodBusiness based at home,motorcycle,otomotif,lg cell phones,cell phone battery,walkie talkie talk,cheap dvd portable player,antenna for wifi,bidang ilmu hukum,antenna for wifi,screen protector for monit,battery for a laptop,a leather wallet,android cell phone,prepaid cell phones,cell phone cases,Flash memori card,jenis Akik,solar lamps for garden,pump with filter,flip flops sandals,fragrance for men,women fragrances perfume,Movie this year,universal cell phone battery charger,

 

Post a Comment

<< Home