Tear the Vines Off Christmas

Well, here it is. The Big OD. Super Tuesday. Nexus of the Months. Crown of Cardboard Art.

I see no future for Spurs/Blazers, unless you've got a passing interesting in the Travis Outlaw bandwagon. Rocket/Lakers, on the other hand, is major—after all these years, and all those distractions, it's still T-MAC/KOBE. Then there's all that designer caviar about Adelman's offense and how quick Javaris Crittendon gets his jersey in the NBA store.

Longform now is an Opening Day expulusion for the ages. Our Deadspin previews finish up this afternoon with Dr. LIC's on Garnett; don't sleep on The Recluse's Steve Nash piece. And then expect us back there in two weeks, and then every two weeks after that.

We also have an important announcement: We've invited Ty Keenan and Carter Blanchard to join the staff of FreeDarko. You probably know them from our comments section, or their ever-incisive Plissken at the Buzzer. They'll be chipping in a few pieces a month, upholding the mission of this site while bringing their own spinning brains to the table. Like a good basketball team!

And lastly, donations are still always welcome. Maybe I'll even give Billups some now that we're semi-paid.

Update: I'm quoted in this Portfolio article about marketing the Hornets, and Dr. LIC once again visits with the Bleacher Bloggers.

Update Numero Dos: The good Doctor's KG piece is now up at D'spin. Read that.


At 10/30/2007 1:34 PM, Blogger goathair said...

I think this is the definition of big things poppin'.

At 10/30/2007 1:40 PM, Blogger MC Welk said...

I'm older, some might say artsy, and I exude little fan energy, but I'll be watching Brewer vs. Azubuike.

P.S. Congrats to the Escape from New York kids.

At 10/30/2007 3:43 PM, Blogger Ty Keenan said...

I promise not to screw things up too terribly.

Also, I hadn't looked at tonight's schedule until now, so I hadn't seen that the Warriors are the only non-national game tonight. Is this scheduling quirk an example of the league respecting or institutionalizing the team's otherness?

At 10/30/2007 4:04 PM, Blogger goathair said...

I think it's a case of wanting to get Oden (oops), the reigning champions, T-Mac and Kobe on national tv.

At 10/30/2007 4:10 PM, Blogger Ty Keenan said...

No doubt, but why would they even put another game on the schedule?

At 10/30/2007 4:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know it lasted about two weeks the first go round, but does this mean we will be granted a post everyday (or so) about which game has the most intrigue that night like you used to do? 'Cause that would be nice.

At 10/30/2007 4:23 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

anon, i was actually thinking about that this morning. when i tried it last time, i just got sick of writing about the same teams over and over again.

though maybe every few days would work.

At 10/30/2007 4:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I figured thats why you would have stopped, seeing as how YOUR LEAGUE PASS BELONGS TO CHARLOTTE.

Is it 9 yet? (central)

At 10/30/2007 5:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darkofan: Re: Longform. don't worry, Kevin D. is not going ot start out slowly. You may not see "struggle".

NY Times Mag's Play on Chinese fan names for NBA players, easily identifiable: "Sweet Mellon" and "Stone Buddha".

At 10/30/2007 5:16 PM, Blogger stopmikelupica said...

Ty and Carter filling the statistical void that is Silverbird, no doubt. Good call. Big things poppin' indeed.

At 10/30/2007 5:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the FD signings. Carter is a straight 30-ft swish.
Ty has the real world experience, but I suppose I'm not hot on his stuff because I haven't seen enough of his flow. Also there's that hardcore Rocket-homer fanaticism.
So here's to Ty - impress us or die.

At 10/30/2007 6:32 PM, Blogger jon faith said...

Somehow w/o Foster Wallace, a cover story on the NYT Mag isn't applicable. Economic theory rebounding from The Wire through a No Snitcher goes unannounced, what gives? I suppose all rests well when "we're being payed."

At 10/30/2007 7:07 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

i'm sorry, but huh?

At 10/30/2007 7:18 PM, Blogger goathair said...

Well, "payed" should be "paid," but after that I'm no help. It might be some kind of code.

At 10/30/2007 8:26 PM, Anonymous Rob said...

His profile says he's "married and happy in a sing-song degree of dementia." Whatever that means.

At 10/30/2007 9:58 PM, Blogger Ty Keenan said...

Anon 5:53. I think you're confusing me with T. I have no real world experience. I'm also not sure how you could know Carter and not me, but whatever.

Point taken on the "impress or die" bit, at any rate.

At 10/30/2007 11:01 PM, Blogger rebar said...

i would thoroughly recommend the absolutely impressive and epic mascot reviews done @ plissken at the buzzer. truly hilarious and amazing shit. you deserve to ball with the best.

At 10/31/2007 1:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rufus ain't racist.

At 10/31/2007 4:04 AM, Blogger T. said...

odd. I swore I wrote something about being able to be confused with Ty (despite our man-love for Leon Powe) since he's a much more dilligent (and probably better) writer than I am. I'm sure he's much better looking too.

One ugly win down. . .55 left?

Is my love for Chuck Hayes and Shane Battier wrong? They're very non-FD (would that be ImprisonDarko?). All right way, hustle and rebounding and pick setting. Nothing about the possibilites of basketball - and everything about the stark realities of the grunt work that is needed so the stars can shine.

Well, too bad. I love those guys.

At 10/31/2007 10:15 AM, Anonymous youshoottoomuch said...


sometimes the pictures you use give me strange headaches. this one being a fine example. why is that girl's head so much bigger than everything else? is there a wide angle lens in use? aaarrrrg! my head is pounding!

At 10/31/2007 11:21 AM, Anonymous jspilker said...

i like how in the Portfolio piece the phrase "nothing resembling fan energy," was the link to freedarko.

At 10/31/2007 12:04 PM, Blogger lost said...


It's not 'chalk full', but rather 'chock full'.

This is not 'grammatical douchebaggery', but rather 'linguistic douchebaggery', which has no place over at Deadspin but may be of worth here.

The denizens of Freedarko can't fall victim to the larger American culture: that of people who don't understand the words they use.

It's a tough road to ho, but somebody's gotta do it.

Other than that infinitesimal flaw, I'm loving the KG article. Right down to the concept of the PAT.

This is why Iverson will always be the boy; when the Sixers lost it always seemed like he blamed himself. Never mind he was just one gifted little dude with, essentially, a bunch of empty roster slots around him, one of which occasionally blocked a shot. He took it on, good or bad.

Respect due for putting a tag on this phenomenon.

I'd argue that McNads is the prime exemplar of the behavior of the PAT. To me, KG is the prime exemplar of how this poisoned attitude can distract a supreme talent from potential accomplishments by turning his attention to managing expectations. Donovan is an NFL quarterback; managing expectations is part of his job, as is being distracted. Garnett is an NBA superstar, or should be. We expect him to strive for glory, not beg us to accept his mediocrity.

ok, by my count that is cents:2, sense: 0. I'm going to lunch.

At 10/31/2007 1:34 PM, Blogger The Cruise said...

It's a tough road to ho

i get it. you're the pedant with the swit-ch-er-oo

At 10/31/2007 2:10 PM, Blogger lost said...

no, i just wanted to holler out to my hoes.

Actually, I chose it more as an example of my little pet peeve that pretty much everyone has seen or heard. It's completely tiresome to me, so I'm not offended that you failed to find it funny.

I'm not sure if my complaint rises to the level of pedantry. Actually I bristle at the suggestion that this makes me a pedant. I may be a pedant but there's no evidence of it here. Plenty of other flaws on display, but mischaracterised by you as pedantry.

I'm sure there are plenty of examples in my own writing that fail to comply with somebody's rules of grammar. There's a difference between expecting perfection and expecting to read words that mean something.
As somebody who likes to fuck poets I have an appreciation for the value of the printed word.

However, I suspect that FD strives to make an art form of sports blogging, blogging humor, and sports commentary. This must be recognized as a visual art form of the written word. Having a word in the middle of the sentence that means nothing disrupts my personal pleasure in reading an otherwise excellent article. I doubt I'm the only one.

Maybe I'm the only one who's enough of an asshole to say something. If he does it again, at least I get to delude myself that he's doing it to piss me off. That's satisfactory.

Admittedly, 'chalk full' and 'chock full' have the same impact in spoken conversation; everyone knows what you mean. However, I have come to expect more from FD. From the writers, I expect fluid prose, obscure references both written and photographic, and a superior knowledge of art and culture. As for the readers, it is a rare treat to find a sports blog where I reasonably expect we can all read the posts without moving our lips.

by the way, i noticed that you broke up a syllable in switcheroo.

didn't bother me in the slightest.

now, if you'll excuse me, i gotta go wash my hands for the next fifteen/20 minutes

At 10/31/2007 11:18 PM, Blogger Carter Blanchard said...

First off, it's an Escape from LA reference, not NY. This is important. Also, very excited to be joining the family obviously; hope we don't disappoint.

Finally, we never accused Rufus himself of being racist, but whoever put him in the pimp suit might have issues.


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