A Cleansing Agent
Okay motherfuckers, you want integrity? Here's a low quality video of a commercial where Artis Gilmore takes on a team of tow-haired pre-teens, crushes them, and is subsequently humbled by some sort of giant metal box. Shades of the Pats and the soda machine (awesome!) and the commercial where Kobe blocked the chubby ten year-old (pasta!). In the interest of not endorsing the establishment or evoking anymore of the Beast than I already have, I have not included links for those over-exposed ads I mention.
And yeah, the quality is shit. But the Dead Sea Scrolls came to us in shambles, and they sparked an entire decade's worth of History Channel programming. So you choose what side you want to be on.