3.06.2009

Un prix est distribué et quelqu’un le refuse



Before you do anything, read Shoals's new Quotemonger over at SLAM.

Now, the winning entries from our Gunnin' for that #1 Spot contest! We asked you to select which high school class of ballers you would most like to see as the subject of a film, and what that film would be like. There were a lot of solid entries, but factual errors and a lack of imagination were automatic disqualifications. Magic and Bird in the same high school class--come on! Our winning entry identified the magical Class of '95, whose cup runneth over with talent and storylines. The runner-up didn't even follow the (very simple) rules of the contest, but anything that mentions a yeshiva and La Nouvelle Vague is going to fare pretty well. Know your judge!

If your entry was not a winner, you can still cop the DVD. And while you're there, pick up that Chubb Rock, too!



First Place: Jerry Jalette

My pick has to be the 1995 class because of the multitude of running subplots.

You'd have the Billups, Pierce, and Ron Mercer angle - kind of like the kids partying and having a good time at the boat house right before Jason (aka Pitino) gathers them up and rips them to shreds (and let us not forget the immortal Kris Clack getting drafted and cut from the C's). Retrospectively, you'd see some early Pierce / KG interactions. Maybe they'd be egotistical and snippy ala When Harry Met Sally, only to end up together in the end. And that isn't even discussing the KG / Starbury possibilities. High school phenoms, future teammates, future rivals, and maybe another pairing in 2009? I am really intrigued by the Starbury / Shammgod angle - if this is filmed at Ruckers and you have the two crazy New York pointguards going for the top spot. The two of them on the same McDonald's All-American team would be like 48 Hours with two Eddie Murphy's. Any chance you can feature God Shammgod is one you have to take. All these egos and Robert Traylor? What is the over/under on fat jokes in this flick? Also, some nice college connections with VC and Antawn going to UNC, Pierce and Robertson off to Kansas, and Clay and Shammgod going to the Ocean State rivals. Toss in Shareef as The Invisible Man, who would go on to put up the quietest double-doubles in NBA history to go with the record for most NBA games without reaching the playoffs (does he even show up on camera?), and you've got a pretty solid cast.

Runner Up: David Grossman

While I can't exactly meet the specific "rules" of your "contest", I can offer this up. While playing on the JV team of my Los Angeles yeshiva (Shalhevet Firehawks), my love of the French New Wave also came around. So I began work on a script combining the two, titled I Am Dan Gadzuric, named after the then-dominant (if sloppy) UCLA center. Allow me to offer up this excerpt from the opening monolouge (I never got around to the exact plot, but rough outlines I had pretty much consisted of me hitting threes, posting up and walking around the parking lot of this bar next to my school.

THE SCREEN IS BLACK.

Narrator:
They laugh at me. Shit do they laugh. They see my size, they know we can't do anything. What is this guy doing at center? They don't understand. They'll never know what fuels a guy like me, a guy who - let's just say I don't do this for anything except basketball.

THE LIGHTS COME ON, A BLACK AND WHITE CLOSE UP OF The Center

The Center:
I move, I run. I play this game - shit this ain't no game, this is all I have. My fury drives me, and their laughter. See, they don't understand the intensity. They don't understand. I am Dan Gadzuric, fury of a thousand suns [Ed. note: I swear I wrote this in high school]. Am I the best player out there? Fuck no. But I will triumph. I am Dan Gadzuric.

11 Comments:

At 3/06/2009 1:46 PM, Blogger Aaron said...

"The two of them on the same McDonald's All-American team would be like 48 Hours with two Eddie Murphy's."

LOL, classic.

 
At 3/06/2009 2:15 PM, Blogger Bhel Atlantic said...

In the class of '95 mix, throw Jason Williams and Wally Szczerbiak into the banquet hall. I don't know if they were touted prospects at the time. I suspect Wally and Vince Carter would end up gabbing in the corner about girls. And it would be funny to see the pre-tatted Williams, possibly a polite southern boy.

 
At 3/06/2009 2:30 PM, Blogger Evan said...

UCLA alum here. I'll never forget being on campus one day, walking past LuValle Commons (a reference point for any Bruin readers) and seeing a giant out of the corner of my eye walking next to me--it was Dan Gadzuric. He was walking on crutches, and the top of his crutches were taller than I was. Granted, I'm kind of short, but it was still kind of mind-blowing.

Though not as much as seeing John Salley getting some digits from a cute girl who was half his age in the bookstore. But that's another story...

 
At 3/06/2009 2:32 PM, Blogger Brown Recluse, Esq. said...

White Chocolate redshirted his freshman year, so he's actually Class of '94. Disqualified!

 
At 3/06/2009 3:23 PM, Blogger Alexander J said...

I was all too tempted to make some kind of absurd comment about fan fiction in the NBA, or in this case NCAA, but even the most cynical fan is guilty of daydreamingslashprojecting his/her non-NBA passions combining with la liga like strawberry and shortcake on the 4th of july.
There's a fat portugese guy screaming in the kitchen; when he sweats, you feel the need to wipe your own face.
Why haven't you guys gotten together with lamarodom.com yet? Just curious.

dyntsy-Earl Boykins on the Dallas Mavericks

 
At 3/06/2009 5:04 PM, Blogger Crabbie said...

Wait, I couldn't catch it, whose jersey was stolen the night before the game?

I would love to see that documentary/read that book. The 48 Hrs. line is indeed gold.

WV: balio: Marbury's derisive nickname for Gallinari

 
At 3/06/2009 10:53 PM, OpenID ajax2ny said...

hey

 
At 3/07/2009 10:52 AM, Blogger wondahbap said...

Ahh, Luther Clay. Part of URI's "glory" days with Tyson Wheeler and Cuttino. Coached by Al Skinner. Then we sold our souls for Jim Harrick then Lamar Odom.

The program hasn't been "good" since we had to pay up by hiring Jerry D. We're back to mediocrity (finally), all for one legible paragraph and one year in the limelight.

You know what followed LO? A Marbury. I'm a Laker fan. Lamar owes me.

 
At 3/07/2009 11:47 AM, Blogger j said...

played/guarded gadzuric a couple times in high school..

remember i accidentally caught him with an elbow and he called me a fag- then told me i should get off his "sack".

i also remember he smelled kind of like dogshit.

 
At 3/07/2009 11:55 AM, Blogger Evan said...

That's just how they roll in Den Haag.

 
At 5/17/2013 5:41 PM, Blogger Jim Philips said...

You are right it is better to read the previous post than makes a comment. usually people on forum don't read before acts. It happens a lot on Sportsbook Betting community forum.

 

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