Un prix est distribué et quelqu’un le refuse

Before you do anything, read Shoals's new Quotemonger over at SLAM.

Now, the winning entries from our Gunnin' for that #1 Spot contest! We asked you to select which high school class of ballers you would most like to see as the subject of a film, and what that film would be like. There were a lot of solid entries, but factual errors and a lack of imagination were automatic disqualifications. Magic and Bird in the same high school class--come on! Our winning entry identified the magical Class of '95, whose cup runneth over with talent and storylines. The runner-up didn't even follow the (very simple) rules of the contest, but anything that mentions a yeshiva and La Nouvelle Vague is going to fare pretty well. Know your judge!

If your entry was not a winner, you can still cop the DVD. And while you're there, pick up that Chubb Rock, too!



First Place: Jerry Jalette

My pick has to be the 1995 class because of the multitude of running subplots.

You'd have the Billups, Pierce, and Ron Mercer angle - kind of like the kids partying and having a good time at the boat house right before Jason (aka Pitino) gathers them up and rips them to shreds (and let us not forget the immortal Kris Clack getting drafted and cut from the C's). Retrospectively, you'd see some early Pierce / KG interactions. Maybe they'd be egotistical and snippy ala When Harry Met Sally, only to end up together in the end. And that isn't even discussing the KG / Starbury possibilities. High school phenoms, future teammates, future rivals, and maybe another pairing in 2009? I am really intrigued by the Starbury / Shammgod angle - if this is filmed at Ruckers and you have the two crazy New York pointguards going for the top spot. The two of them on the same McDonald's All-American team would be like 48 Hours with two Eddie Murphy's. Any chance you can feature God Shammgod is one you have to take. All these egos and Robert Traylor? What is the over/under on fat jokes in this flick? Also, some nice college connections with VC and Antawn going to UNC, Pierce and Robertson off to Kansas, and Clay and Shammgod going to the Ocean State rivals. Toss in Shareef as The Invisible Man, who would go on to put up the quietest double-doubles in NBA history to go with the record for most NBA games without reaching the playoffs (does he even show up on camera?), and you've got a pretty solid cast.

Runner Up: David Grossman

While I can't exactly meet the specific "rules" of your "contest", I can offer this up. While playing on the JV team of my Los Angeles yeshiva (Shalhevet Firehawks), my love of the French New Wave also came around. So I began work on a script combining the two, titled I Am Dan Gadzuric, named after the then-dominant (if sloppy) UCLA center. Allow me to offer up this excerpt from the opening monolouge (I never got around to the exact plot, but rough outlines I had pretty much consisted of me hitting threes, posting up and walking around the parking lot of this bar next to my school.

THE SCREEN IS BLACK.

Narrator:
They laugh at me. Shit do they laugh. They see my size, they know we can't do anything. What is this guy doing at center? They don't understand. They'll never know what fuels a guy like me, a guy who - let's just say I don't do this for anything except basketball.

THE LIGHTS COME ON, A BLACK AND WHITE CLOSE UP OF The Center

The Center:
I move, I run. I play this game - shit this ain't no game, this is all I have. My fury drives me, and their laughter. See, they don't understand the intensity. They don't understand. I am Dan Gadzuric, fury of a thousand suns [Ed. note: I swear I wrote this in high school]. Am I the best player out there? Fuck no. But I will triumph. I am Dan Gadzuric.