4.12.2009

Death to America

I attended the Hoop Summit earlier today. These pictures, and the short captions I have managed to muster, should be of interest to readers here.

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It is almost impossible to explain how awesome John Wall is. He's like a more athletic, less selfish, Derrick Rose. Like LeBron if he hadn't been made in space and was crossed with Chris Paul. Like that column someone wrote during Wade's championship about how no one saw Jordan coming, either, and the Messiah is supposed to be unexpected and organic. I have absolutely no idea how someone can be both so freakishly dominant and yet so comfortable staying within an offense. Did I mention he has at least five "extra gears," like a series of increasingly explosive first steps that happen within mere feet of each other? When asked about a fall he took that would've made Wade or Gerald Wallace proud, insisted it had to be that way because "you never know which game might be your last." He also has the uncanny ability to cock his entire body in mid-air for a block, only to abruptly staunch all his momentum and float back down to earth if the angle's not there. I have never been more impressed by a high school player. I very nearly blurted out "just stop fucking around and go to UNC" while he was taking questions about his ongoing college search.

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But it was the international team that won, for the first time in eleven years. Here's where it got decided, as Milan Macvan celebrates a long three and possibly several other things that might shock and surprise you.

Photos by Alex McDougall, for Blazer's Edge.

SUPER UPDATE: If FreeDarko is your favorite blog, well, bump it down to number two. This masterpiece of high-concept psychedelic caveman prayer turned up while I was looking for John Wall ish. Ty Keenan thinks it's a dispatch from another planet, several decades down the road. I like to believe it's Calipari himself, releasing an excess of basketball thought and emotion in a manner that just might keep him from 1) getting noticed 2) violating anything more than usual. So he runs it through Babelfish and back. There's also the possibility that it's an ESL scout/agent who refuses to acknowledge his limitations, or a member of some dude's entourage hoping to come out of this spring with a creative writing scholarship.

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23 Comments:

At 4/12/2009 9:31 AM, Blogger daniel vincent john said...

would be great if someone like wall would go play their one year at some small no name basketball school like the university of north dakota. fun and funny.

 
At 4/12/2009 11:07 AM, Blogger salt_bagel said...

I feel compelled to refer to John Wall by his full name only. John Wall.

The upcoming style war between him and Ricky Rubio will be fun to watch. I dig John Wall, but I'm aligning myself with Rubio because he's a way more interesting mix of components. The childishness combined with the three-steps-ahead thinking that makes you lose track of what he's seeing. He's like the point guard Monkey King. And his net following is hilarious. Get a load of the soundtracks on his youtube reels and you'll understand.

 
At 4/12/2009 11:14 AM, Blogger Dave Fonseca said...

Somebody mentioned here a while back that R. Westbrook rebounds like he's dunking. Well, it looks to me like John Wall does everything in that manner, especially that chase down block he had.

 
At 4/12/2009 2:11 PM, Blogger Brown Recluse, Esq. said...

A John Wall gushfest and a link to a Catherine MacKinnon letter to the New York Times. That's FreeDarko.

 
At 4/12/2009 5:22 PM, Blogger themarkpike said...

Sadly, there is no Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge's Taxonomy.

I got curious and found some of the original posts.

Somebody at "radiolaluna" is just feed-scraping and building a Library of Babel.

I'm all for it.

 
At 4/12/2009 8:04 PM, Blogger david said...

Less selfish Derrick Rose? I'm guessing you don't really watch Bulls games.

 
At 4/12/2009 8:56 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

I'm guessing you have a very distorted view of the world if that was the only statement you found questionable in my description of Wall.

 
At 4/13/2009 12:14 AM, Blogger Bhel Atlantic said...

The Calipari "blog" reminds me of Joyce's Ulysses -- each new chapter is in a different narrative mode. Calipari is Leopold Bloom, and filling the role of Stephen Daedalus... Marcus Camby?

 
At 4/13/2009 12:16 AM, Blogger The Other Van Gundy said...

@Shoals: Dick comment

 
At 4/13/2009 12:38 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

I don't think Rose is selfish. It was sarcasm in the service of hyperbole. It annoyed me that someone didn't get that. I guess that makes me a dick.

 
At 4/13/2009 8:06 AM, Blogger Alejandro said...

It used to read Analyis.

It was there! I swear I saw it....

Only a dick could ever employ sarcasm in the service of hyperbole.

 
At 4/13/2009 11:36 AM, Blogger appel82 said...

Did you stay in portland to watch the thunder game tonight? FYI bayless is out of the playoff rotation, so no westbrook vs. jbay most likely; maybe you already went home after finding that out?

Keep up the good work.

 
At 4/13/2009 1:48 PM, Blogger dooflow said...

I think it's nobodaddies children sending us dream messages from the same future as Prince of Darkness.

 
At 4/13/2009 1:54 PM, Blogger Draft Kevin Durant said...

johnwallisbetterthanyourteamspointguard.com

COMING SOON!

 
At 4/13/2009 8:28 PM, Blogger Bryan Gamroth said...

How can you spell Macvan wrong when IN the picture you can see his name?

 
At 4/13/2009 8:45 PM, Blogger The Hylands said...

Was mythed by the John Calipari website all day. But then I went to www.radiolaluna.com and noticed that it was a website all in spanish.

Calipari must be blogging in Spanish and the babelfishing it to English. That's the only explanation.

 
At 4/14/2009 3:32 PM, Blogger VH said...

Mike, FL: Is John Wall the No. 1 pick in 2010 Draft. He was awesome at the Hoop Summit game.

SportsNation Chad Ford: He was awesome and he'll compete with Ed Davis and a few other freshmen for that. However, there is some buzz that Wall believes he might be eligible for THIS year's draft. I've been doing some digging and will be filing a story later today. The short rub is this: Wall is a 5th year senior and depending on how you read the collective bargaining agreement, 5th year seniors are eligible for the draft as long as the turn 19 in the calander year (Wall does). The league is taking a wait and see approach. If he declares, they'll research and make a ruling. If he does declare and is ruled eligible (two big ifs) he's a Top 5 pick in this draft. Maybe Top 3.

 
At 4/14/2009 4:35 PM, Blogger Jakob Kagel said...

A more athletic less selfish Derrick Rose, I like that

www.collegebasketball247.blogspot.com

 
At 4/15/2009 3:08 PM, Blogger Headless Chicken said...

A John Wall scary fall is here at 0:48 and only short. Even I as a Gerald Wallace follower was shocked by this.

 
At 4/17/2009 11:21 AM, Blogger Captain Winston Montana said...

Strangely, that Radio Laluna post originally came from roundballportfolio.blogspot.com, and used some sort of Thesaurus Program to avoid plagiarizing. Or maybe the point is that John Wall's talent is THAT befuddling?

 
At 4/21/2009 4:34 PM, Blogger vanjulio said...

http://radiolaluna.com/blogs/johncalipari/

This magnificent reading is effacing the distance yearly understood. May be he it is when processed!

 
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