FreeDrafto #437A: The New Beginning: The Mock

Whatever FreeDarko-ness is, there's one thing we can all agree on: These days, it's in short supply around the league. The Suns are dead. The Hawks will disband. Larry Brown is about to put the clamps on Charlotte. Lamar Odom couldn't get a deal. You all know the rest.

The 2003 draft was supposed to usher in a new crop of superstars; 2007's was to replenish the league with an entire first round ready to start. In this year's, FreeDarko sees a unique opportunity: ourselves. Like no draft since perhaps the lost art of 1990, 2008's prospects have it within them to send a shockwave of FD core value throughout the Association. However, for this to happen, the right players must end up with the right team.

And thus, here assemble myself, Dr. Lawyer IndianChief, Brown Recluse, Esq., Ty Keenan, Carter Blanchard, and special guests Tom Ziller and Dan Shanoff. We drew lots and then ran through the teams in order, thinking hard along the way. Please, love it.

1. Bulls: Derrick Rose
I'm very tempted to collude and send him to Miami for the Rose/Wade/Marion triumvirate, but Chicago needs a core piece. Gordon, Luol, Thabo, and most importantly Tyrus all got a little lost this year -- now they have someone to organize them as they attempt to undo the Skiles reign of terror. The only downside is that we'll be treated to endless features on how he's a local boy fulfilling a childhood dream to wear the uniform and eat deep dish while base-jumping off the Sears Tower. (Ty Keenan)

2. Heat: Ovinton J'Anthony Mayo
Riley valuing seriousness over talent might end up being for the best for the league for two reasons: First, the slight to Beasley could be good for his constitution if it lends a bitter drivenness to accompany his lighthearted goofiness. Second, the dysfunction of a Wade/Mayo backcourt could be hard to resist. I envision two independent and totally unrelated offenses; alternately no one running the show or everyone trying to at once. (Carter Blanchard)

3. Timberwolves: Michael Beasley
The next Suns, if Telfair can get a qualifying offer. Jefferson as the ABA Amare, Beasley as a less friendly Matrix, and Rashad McCants rolling like Barbosa in a frozen cranberry bog. Hoiberg takes over in October, Ettore Messina knifes Wittman by Christmas. 8th seed! (Tom Ziller)

4. Sonics: Jerryd Bayless
His jersey No. 0 will be a hit in Oklahoma City. Luke Ridnour's Seattle jersey hits that one clearance rack that you see at Champs where you always are kind of tempted, "For $12.99, does it matter who the player is?" (Dan Shanoff)

5. Grizzlies: Brook Lopez
Because it's always funny when NBA teams start looking like college all-star teams (Lopez, Warrick, Gay, Conley Jr., Crittenton). Also, Lopez fills an obvious need and his slow-but-sure-footedness in the post/hispanic last name will make everyone in Memphis forget about Pau Gasol, right? In addition, Lopez is clearly the Stax records to Oden's Motown. (Dr. LIC)

6. Knicks: Kevin Love
Although on first glance, he seems like an odd fit with the Knicks, his cockiness and sense of entitlement is totally New York. And while he can't run the floor like Amare, his uncanny outlet passes will fuel D'Antoni's running game. (Brown Recluse, Esq.)

7. Clippers: Joe Alexander
The Clippers needing a PG means nothing to me, since I believe in the return of Shaun Livingston. Replacing Elton Brand, if it comes to that, also isn't that relevant to my life. I'm all about them drafting Alexander, playing him and Al Thornton at the same time, and watching Livingston find a new life as the caretaker of this chaos. The less he can run himself, the more he can focus on making sure these two mismatched twins are moving in the right direction (Bethlehem Shoals)

8. Bucks: Danilo Gallinari.
There's something compelling about a team full of combo forwards who usually take jumpers -- it'll be like a bizarro version of the Hawks. Except, if Redd leaves, there will be no top dog around to bring any sense of order to their baskets. I'm pretty sure this is Skiles's private hell. (TK)

9. Bobcats: Russell Westbrook
With Westbrook running the break alongside Gerald at full tilt, not even LB could shackle this crew. In addition to the awesome highlight reels that this will inspire there's the off chance that they could transform their wealth of athleticism into a defensive identity and actually become halfway decent, and there's little I want as desperately as a relevant Bobcats team. Hawks-'Cats Playoffs! (CB)

10. Nets: Ryan Anderson
Thorn needs someone who can participate in amazing discussions of Joy Division to divert L. Frank while Thorn writes love songs to Thibodeau and tries to introduce Vince to Devin Harris. Also, Nenad Krstic will be frustrated to the point of punching Boki, and Rod Benson will blow himself up (the only negative repercussion). (TZ)

11. Pacers: D.J. Augustin
Augustin, who is the guy who Danny Granger thanks when Granger is 3rd Team all-NBA next season, heralding Granger's greatness like the Silver Surfer does for Galactus. In a CP3-crazed world, extra points for D.J.'s GPA and Gulf Coast cred. (DS)

12. Kings: DeAndre Jordan
Can someone just put Brad Miller out of his misery already? He is the last remaining cog from those ultra-sad Kings teams of the turn of the millenium. He's also the only thing really standing in the way of Ron Artest grabbing the keys and Kevin Martin jumping in the sidecar to take on the world. DeAndre Jordan is harmless enough to make all of this happen. (Dr. LIC)

13. Blazers: Anthony Randolph
What do you do when you're already stacked at every position with promising young talent? You get the youngest and most promising player on the board, which is Anthony Randolph. Plus, it'll be funny to watch him, Aldridge, and Outlaw walk around together. (BR)

14. Warriors: Alexis Ajinca
Nellie is often referred to as a mad scientist. In Alexis Ajinca, he will meet his ultimate Frankenstein. Seven feet, two inches and equipped with a 7'6" wingspan, Ajinca is Brandan Wright athletic, has Diaw-like finesse and passing skills, and can pop off from beyond the arc. This thin giant plays with equal parts snooty aplomb and clumsy abandon, and acts that way, too. Also, no one can decide if he's still bursting with potential, or already counts as a bust. At long last, Nellieball will discover its perfect big man, which alone should assure Don sticking around a few more seasons. (BS)

15. Suns: Eric Gordon
As long as Nash and Amare are around, I refuse to believe that they're fated to aesthetic irrelevance. They'll never run like they used to, but Gordon would give them a desperately needed shooter who's also capable of bulling his way into the paint. There are such things as exciting halfcourt offenses. Whenever possible, they should include broad-shouldered, possibly overweight guys with goofy ears. (TK)


BR: It's really a shame that in any draft, especially the FD draft, Eric Gordon would fall so far. I had him high on my board, just lower than Randolph.
BS: I've come up with an explanation for Gordon slipping: Doesn't he have short arms?
DLIC: Also, he hasn't been able to lose the "fat" tag.
TK: Didn't we decide last time that he isn't actually fat? I should make it clear that I'm still very much okay with calling him fat.
DS: I personally like calling him a fatty, but I recognize that he merely has a big round head.
CB: Also, is being fat really an FD strike? Not that Gordon qualifies at all, but surprisingly mobile fattys are just about my favorite type of player.
BR: Dwight Stewart, that fat (round faced) guy on Arkansas who only shot 3s = totally FD.

16. Sixers: Chris Douglas-Roberts
Mostly because I'm not sure I want to live in a world where Willie Green starts on a playoff team. CDR could add some scoring excitement without disrupting the delicate balance of the Sixers' gangly swarming defense. I really like the thought of Iggy, Thad and him all on the court at the same time, switching assignments on each defensive possession, stumbling all over each other on the offense, with Miller trying desperately to bring order to the beautiful awkward mess. (CB)

17. Toronto: JaVale McGee
T.J. Ford always gets to pick first in Dodgeball, and he always takes Jamario! Bosh exerts his pressure on Colangelo (borne of 2010 free agency) to get the Dodgeball equalizer. (Calderon -- T.J. always takes him over Rasho in the final round of the Dodgeball draft -- gets pissed at JaVaLe's headhunting ways and bolts for Miami. Calderon-Wade-Mayo-Marion-Blount for days.) (TZ)

18. Wizards: Donte Greene
One Andray Blatche obviously wasn't enough. If Greene can avoid Blatche's penchant for hookers and DUIs and embrace Dan Steinberg and the Wizznutzz, Greene will fulfill his potential as one of the Top 3 most FreeDarko players in this year's draft. And I was the guy who tabbed Julian Wright as "Most FD" a year ago, so I earned at least one year's worth of iffy picks (DS).

19. Cavaliers: Mario Chalmers
Danny Ferry adds yet another three-point shooter to the Night of the Living Dead sequel that is LeBron biding his time in Cleveland. Chalmers will get to join the ranks of Ira Newble, Donyell Marshall, Wally Szczerbiak, Damon Jones, Daniel Gibson, Delonte West, and the rest of the guys that get to stand behind the three-point line and watch LeBron dunk. Plus, Chalmers fills the heart-wrenching Alaskan void left by Carlos Boozer. (Dr. LIC)

20. Nuggets: Trent Plaisted
Plaisted is a devout Mormon, a good student, and has already been married for a year. He's the kind of solid citizen who can balance out AI, Melo, K-Mart, and the rest of the Nuggets. His face-up game would also be a good complement to Camby and Nene, but the main thing Plaisted brings to the table is negative swag. (BR)

21. Nets: Courtney Lee, Western Kentucky
The Nets have way too many mildly intriguing big men on their roster, (inevitably) replacing Vince Carter is like one of those movies where you have to stay in your aunt's haunted mansion, and Richard Jefferson deserves one more shot at "best player on bad team." I'm not disparaging dude, but his brand of SF is uniquely suited to that role. Thus, stuck waiting, frustrated, and sad, the Net opt for the shortest player anyone could conceivably take in the first round, despite this being a draft of mildly intriguing bigs. No more redundancy, no promises for the future. (BS)

22. Magic: Bill Walker
The "surround Howard with shooters" plan has the potential to get boring as he acquires more/any post moves, so let's inject them with a freak wing who could gruesomely injure himself any minute now before it's too late. Plus, apart from whatever Walker brings to the table, he will make a great buddy for Howard: Bill's acrobatics will challenge Dwight to stay true to his beastly self and, at the very least, their mutual love of on-court props (urine-soaked towels, popcorn, capes, etc.) will produce the greatest dunk contest moment ever -- a transcendent attempt that prominently features a bidet, a Redenbacher heir, and the drama freaks from a local high school. (TK)

23: Jazz: Roy Hibbert
Not necessarily because the Jazz would want anything from him (other than maybe replacing Jarron's 6 fouls per 40 min), but because Roy would certainly want to be with the Jazz. They're pretty much the only team that would give him time to lumber down the court, plus Mehmet's vertical would make him feel better about himself. Draftee's needs >> team's needs. (CB)

24. Sonics: Goran Dragic, Slovenia
The death of Watson/Ridnour is complete. Also, Dragic: Magic performed by dragons. (TZ)

25. Rockets: Brandon Rush.
He will make an ideal replacement for T-Mac, when McGrady is (finally) shipped out of town. At least he is a proven postseason winner. Rush is the stealth contender for FD ROY. Darryl Morey is the smartest GM in the NBA; he's with me on this, I'm sure. (DS)

26. Spurs: Semih Erden
Spurs....obscure foreigner....funny name....will blossom...etc. (Dr. LIC)

27. Hornets: Nicolas Batum
Chris Paul has become so dominant that you draft guys whose talents will mesh well with his. Think of the success the Nets had giving Jason Kidd Kenyon Martin and Richard Jefferson to throw alley-oops to. Batum is probably the most athletic player in this draft, so if he's available here (which he won't be), it's a no-brainer. Since the Hornets already have a very solid team, they can provide a nurturing environment for this young buck. Plus, he's French, which gives him a better chance than most at making sense of Creole. (BR)

28. Grizzlies: Darrell Arthur
I know the point of this exercise is to wile out and visit lightning and steam upon the entire league-scape. I also know that, sometimes in the middle of a drug binge, you look over at a friend and think "damn, he needs some water and a sandwich." So while it's tempting to saddle the Grizz with yet another running joke, or insanely FD prospect who may or may not be crushed by circumstance, instead I'm handing them that sandwich. Arthur's not the most glamorous player in this draft, and he might go 15 years without a Stu Scott moment. But he's sane, solid, and skilled, and in this NBA, mental stability manifested through non-brute production (see West, David or Jamison, Antawn) is the new Charles Oakley. (BS)

29. Pistons: Robin Lopez
As Dumars hopefully begins to cast off some pieces and organize the team around Stuckey and the other reserves, the bench will need a reinvigoration. What better way to provide that than with a shot-blocking center with the most gracefully awkward post moves around. Lopez will also serve the important role of designing Disney Princess tattoos for the whole gang: Amir gets Belle, because both want more from this world. (TK)

30. Celtics: Serge Ibaka
It might not have been the most important thing, but on some level the absence of whiteys (no offense, Scal and Scot) had to have helped facilitate the total buy-in to Ubuntu at least a little bit. With all due respect to Kosta and everyone else left on the board, Serge probably has a leg up on the whole thing—the Congo is only a hop, skip, and a jump away from South Africa, so he probably knows Cheetah already. Most importantly, at 6'10" with supposedly the highest vertical of the draft, he can hopefully offset some of the flat-footedness of the rest of his team. (CB)

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At 6/21/2008 5:13 PM, Blogger MC Welk said...

Plaisted as anti-swag is priceless. Also, Koufos should be plying in Thessaloniki. Thank you free darko.

At 6/21/2008 5:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some phrases you've probably never heard uttered aloud, and with any luck, never will:

"And when I saw him on the unicycle, I knew I had to have his nuts in my mouth."

"Just Shoot Me is my favorite television show of all time."

"With the nth pick in the 2008 NBA Draft, the ______ _______ select Trent Plaisted of Brigham Young University."

At 6/21/2008 5:52 PM, Blogger Tom Deal said...

good call tredecimal.

what about marreese speights?!?

At 6/21/2008 7:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a LSU fan (middle & high school lived in BR), even I can't believe anyone's willing to take a flyer on Anthony Randolph. I mean, Tyrus, Stromile...the recent track record for Tiger small/power forwards with sketchy jumpers and off-the-scale leaping ability is not good.

At 6/21/2008 10:17 PM, Blogger Andrew said...

Did Andrew Ogilvy and Aaron Bruce not enter the draft? As one of the few Australians who read this, and who never, ever, ever gets to see them play, does anyone know if they declared or stayed in school, and, if they did, what are there projections?

At 6/21/2008 10:17 PM, Blogger Andrew said...


At 6/21/2008 11:50 PM, Blogger salt_bagel said...

The "mesh with Paul" concept made me think of a possible corollary: Is one superb passer a sort of magical equilibrium that should not be exceeded? Can it hurt offensive flow to put another skilled passer in there, creating overunselfishness? Evidence for: Diaw. Evidence against: early '00s Kings. Question raised: Kevin Love.

Also: Joe Alexander and Ryan Anderson are the same person.

At 6/22/2008 12:00 AM, Blogger salt_bagel said...

Andrew (are you actually Andrew Bogut?): Wait for Paddy Mills. He can bring you through the rain. And FD doesn't begin to describe a hyper quick aborigine point guard with the name of a fictional Irishman from a bad short story.

At 6/22/2008 1:27 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Recluse, Recluse, Kevin Love? You're right about the fact that we unliberated Knick fans like assholes who think the world belongs to them (because what does one love more than a reflection of oneself?), but gaaaadddaaammmnnnn . . .

At 6/22/2008 3:38 AM, Blogger Anthony Wilson said...

Shoals, completely unrelated topic:

I'm a fan of your work, both on here and over at H&H, where I frequently commented during "The Wire's" fifth season. I consider your writing style to be very urban and you seem to have an interest in urban pop culture, I just wanted to ask you about your background and what influenced you. I know you say you are Jewish, but that's all I know about you. To me you are kind of an enigma, was just looking for some insight so I could get a better feel for how you acquired your writing approach.

At 6/22/2008 9:09 AM, Blogger Trent said...

@ Andrew: Bruce definitely saying no to drugs and staying in school, at least for another year. Olgivy not sure. Have you seen Baby Shaq (Jawai) play and been flush with the subsequent hilarity as some interweb punters hail him as the second coming? I'm not hating on my ocuntryfolk, but pinning him to Shaq is tilting at windmills...
Also, Robin Lopez in the Pistons' locker room? Dear god, the humanity...

At 6/22/2008 10:08 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Like Anthony Wilson, I also have a completely unrelated topic to discuss...

I saw Polvo at the Bowery Ballroom last night. They were effing fantastic. Of particular relevance to this site was a bit of between-songs banter that Dave Brylawski engaged in early in the set, which I've roughly transcribed below:

"A lot of people from North Carolina here tonight."

(clapping and hooting from audience)

"North Carolina is tied for the number one state in the country, tied with New York, of course."

(more clapping and hooting)

"But Carolina has better basketball."

(smattering of boos)

"Aw, c'mon, I want the Knicks to be good too, people. But I'm really excited for the Brooklyn Nets. Especially Vince Carter [emphasis mine]."

I'm still trying to figure this one out. I thought maybe you guys could help.

At 6/22/2008 12:58 PM, Blogger Jacob Leland said...


Can you defend the Lopez-Oden-Stax-Motown nugget? Seems to me that if anyone is trying for crossover appeal, it's the white-looking (and first-named) pro ballplayer from Stanfurd with the Latin surname. No?

But maybe Iavaroni is Berry Gordy.

At 6/22/2008 3:31 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

AW--Not entirely sure what you're asking, and I'm not about to relinquish this "enigma" tag in plain sight. Shoot me an email.

Matt--From what I know, Dave lives in New York now. I have no idea how UNC partisans feel about Vince these days.

Anyone know how I can get on the list for the Chicago show? It's already going to cost me too much to fly out there. . .

DJSW--Dr. LIC is in Italy or something, so I'll take a gander here: Oden's from the heartland, approachable, accessible, smiles a lot, is all about taking . I can see how he's Motown.

At 6/22/2008 4:42 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

Sorry, that was probably should've been "all about talking," though I also meant to say something about him not flashing his real chops until that one (missed) dunk.

At 6/22/2008 5:45 PM, Blogger BW said...

Shoals, their Summerfest appearance on the 26th ought to be free.

At 6/23/2008 4:21 AM, Blogger Andrew said...

Jawai will be a beast, although I think he'll take about three years of development to do anything of merit in the L... He's pretty much a carbon copy of Maxiell in that he'll try to dunk anything that's near the rim, and has range to about 15-17 feet. He hit about seven from that spot in the NBL all star game in one quarter. I wanna see him leave Australia, he deserves so much more than the NBL.

At 6/23/2008 12:30 PM, Blogger Croz said...

As a diehard Heels fan, I'll speak for myself re: Vince Carter.

I've got a soft spot for him, the way that people do for family members that just can't seem to get their shit together. For me, flying back to graduate signaled that, for Vince, blood was Carolina blue, regardless of the NBA jersey he was wearing at the time. I understand why this incited rage from NBA fans, Vince fans, and Raptors fans, but talk about coded signals - Carter was being true to his school in a way that this UNC fan is a sucker for.

That being said, the man is impossible to defend. His conduct to the Raptors was simply abysmal on so many levels, and he clearly doesn't love & need basketball the way that Kobe does. I would say that I rationalize it by thinking about the way I feel about my job - probably pretty similar to the way Vince feels about his.

So he's an offense for all the standard reasons, but for me, a die hard UNC hoops fan; well, you don't reject family...

At 6/23/2008 12:37 PM, Blogger Jacob Leland said...

Shoals (as proxy, I guess),

Yeah, but Lopez is from the 'burbs. Brook Lopez is the NBA big man you could take home and introduce to your parents. Greg Oden is who your parents want to meet, if they're cool.

At 6/23/2008 2:03 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

I think this year's draft is going to make American white people happy for years. Kevin Love and Joe Alexander might be the two best American white players to come into the NBA in a good long time. Adam Morrison (and JJ Redick) will be a forgotten memory within three years.

In the right system, and with the right nutrition, Love will be go down as a great passing big man with a decent touch on the perimeter. Brad Miller, but with more explosiveness.

And Joe Alexander is one of the athletic players in this draft. According to his combine numbers he's strong, super quick, and has good ups. Perhaps he just tests well? Either way, two guys likely in the top-10 that aren't going to flop - they'll be solid players, maybe not All-Stars, but starters.

I surprised this hasn't been more of a story.

At 6/23/2008 2:07 PM, Blogger Josh R. said...

Apparently the Sonics are very interested in moving up to 2 to get Beasley (the trade being bandied about is Mark Blount and the 2 for Chris Wilcox and the 4). I'd be hesitant to add Mark Blount to anything, but a Beasley/Durant combo is scary. Would they continue to play Durant at 2, though? PG/Durant/Green/Beasley/C? Would Green move to the bench with Durant at four and Beasley at three? Oh the possibilities.

At 6/23/2008 2:11 PM, Blogger Nathaniel Jones said...

DX has DeAndre invited to the Green Room. Ford's latest has him going 28. This could be exciting.

At 6/23/2008 2:13 PM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...

Josh--From Thursday, everything I've ever thought about Durant/Beasley, sort of. Seriously, if that came to pass, I would become the biggest OKC fan in the world.

At 6/23/2008 3:46 PM, Blogger salt_bagel said...

T: I only said that half for laughs; the other half was because they oddly to me seem to inhabit similar roles, the inside-out power forward, but with more athleticism than prior (white) players that have come down the river. Troy Murphy still strikes me as a shooter/scrapper type, whereas Anderson, when I watched him in college, exhibited a lot of polish. He seemed more willing to get to the hoop than Murphy ever did, and was more of a shot creator, and he did it with calculated moves.

Alexander, on the other hand, needs to work on the finesse part of his game, because the aggressive/athletic part is there. I was actually less impressed watching him in college, although I see what the attraction is for the pros.

I feel if both players develop fully, they will sort of collide into the same mold.

And I'm still not sold on Love. There aren't too many New Ways to be discovered in hoops. I could see him being less a unique force in novel physical form, and more Big Baby with a jumper.

At 6/23/2008 7:41 PM, Blogger Dan Filowitz said...

Short correction for Polvo in Chicago:

The one they are playing that's basically free is the Wicker Park Fest.

Damen between North and Schiller, 7/26-7/27, donation requested

Polvo is Saturday

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At 6/23/2008 8:11 PM, Blogger Octopus Grigori said...

All you need to know about Brook Lopez: he loves Disney movies (think Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, etc.), and collects Disney figurines. As soon as I read that, I knew Stanford wouldn't go anywhere in the NCAA tournament. How is this guy going to bring it in crunch time when the song running through his head as he backs down in the paint is "Kiss the Girl"?

Brook Lopez will be abused for several years and then ride the pine for several more. He will be great for NBA Cares, though. He will probably maintain a decent blog as well, featuring links to Disney fan sites. Look for him to appear in "High School Musical III" in a year or so.

At 6/23/2008 8:23 PM, Blogger Croz said...

"Kiss the Girl" is the shit. It's all about success in crunch time.

At 6/23/2008 8:26 PM, Blogger Octopus Grigori said...

@ Croz: That was my lob for your ally-oop dunk. Nice one.

Also, is it just me, or does anyone else foresee disaster in the announced Team USA roster. Jason Kidd? Why no Ray Allen? Why not one more center? This roster screams confusion and internal dissent.

At 6/23/2008 9:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Octo- I'm not seeing the disaster. The hype about not having a lot of big men that I've seen on ESPN or Yahoo sports just breezes by Carmelo being at the 4 with a quick mention. And just going on what I saw last year, he's a position of strength for the US there. He's quick enough for the 3 at the NBA ball, but now that slightly-doughy bit of pudge makes him a legit 4 now that the competition is five guys named...(nah, too easy.)
I mean, damn, how many guys are we planning on fouling out?
I'm just glad there's Kidd, CP3, AND Wilderness. Some combination of one of those guys + Kobe + LBJ + Melo (maybe the best international player among them all?) has got to be able to close a fuckin ticket...call me jingo-homer-istic but I see an alley-oop line if Coach K pushes the right button.
Redd is the token shooter, fine, guess that's better than Miller. Last year's world team was like what you'd get if you let the readership of Playboy pick an 'ultimate band' but made them pick a saxophonist too.

wv: scljp- a title even Teo Macero rejected as 'too cryptic'

At 6/23/2008 10:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To bolster my reference to the USA's wealth at point guard, I know mentions of certain Big Shots may be unwelcome in high places but re: CP3 and why him being on the Olympic team with his nemesis and equal + their elder statesman gives me confidence, I felt this bowdlerization might be appropriate:

"Midwest Conference, dickheads! Hornets slapped the shit out of that league! They took SA to seven! What do you want from life!?"

wv: nkkgltf- i can't fucking work with that, not even listening to the Remote Viewer I can't

At 6/23/2008 10:48 PM, Blogger Brandon said...

As a Jazz/BYU fan, two things:

1. Plaisted never, ever, ever showed a "face-up game" while at BYU. Ever. If he has somehow developed one since March, I will be very surprised.

2. "Give Hibbert time to lumber down the court." The Jazz run far more than they did with Stockton... to the tune of 106 ppg, fifth best in the league last year.

At 6/23/2008 11:45 PM, Blogger Nathaniel Jones said...

I'll be honest, I felt ok whipping out that old stereotype cuz Knickerblogger told me they had the slowest pace in the league this year. Sounded kind of funny to me at the time, but helped me make the joke I wanted to so I ran with it. Now Basketball-Reference is giving me completely different pace numbers and I don't know who to believe anymore. Whatever, they're still fairly ploddy, and score a lot more because of their halfcourt efficiency than any type of running game. (Any statheads know why the two sites give such different results?)

At 6/24/2008 3:24 AM, Blogger Anthony Wilson said...

I agree with the experts that Beasley and Rose are future superstars from this draft. What I don't agree with is that they are the only two superstars from this draft. Mark my words: OJ Mayo will be a superstar at the NBA level. Think a healthy D-Wade, not quite as freakish athletically but with a better jump shot. He was the consummate team player at SC, he defends his ass off, and most importantly, I've heard that he has a Kobe-like desire/work ethic/ drive to be great. When you have a lot of talent, which Mayo has, that's the next best thing you can have. He's commited to the game.

Remember I said this.

At 6/24/2008 5:35 PM, Blogger MC Welk said...

Lacey Plaisted!

At 6/24/2008 6:12 PM, Blogger Brandon said...

Classy, welk. Way to bring a player's wife into the discussion.

At 6/24/2008 9:34 PM, Blogger Brown Recluse, Esq. said...

NBADraft.net says of Plaisted: "Likes to face the basket from inside 12 feet."

You don't have to shoot 3's or cross people over to have a "face-up game."

LOL @ Mayo being a "consummate team player."

At 6/25/2008 2:45 AM, Blogger Abe said...

Polvo is playing Portland in September, I wouldn't be surprised if we see a Seattle play, I'm guessing Neumo's.

In PDX it's as part ofMusicfest Northwest. Some other highlights: TVOTR, Murder City Devils, Mogwai, M Ward, Menomena, Battles, Les Savy Fav, Trans Am, Seaweed, Steel Pole Bath Tub, Crooked Fingers, MONOTONIX, Old Time Relijun, Fucked Up

At 6/25/2008 4:03 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

"Not necessarily because the Jazz would want anything from him (other than maybe replacing Jarron's 6 fouls per 40 min), but because Roy would certainly want to be with the Jazz. They're pretty much the only team that would give him time to lumber down the court, plus Mehmet's vertical would make him feel better about himself. Draftee's needs >> team's needs."

Memo's vertical... LOL.

I'm surprised you guys have Ryan Anderson going 10th... am I missing something?

Great writing!

At 6/25/2008 11:30 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

LOL at "Remember I said this." What a visionary insight, OJ Mayo will be a star. I think i read that headline 8 years ago.


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